Yes...THE dress!!

So today I opened up a garment bag...a garment bag that has been hanging up against our bedroom wall by a screw Frankie put in months ago so I would have somewhere to hang this bag. It has hung there untouched & unmoved since June 23rd.

Today I opened up the garment bag & I gazed at my wedding dress. I remembered how beautiful it made me feel. I remembered all the fun I had while wearing it. 

Most importantly, I remember all the special moments (& no I don't mean just sex) that the Frank & I shared while I was in this dress.

I will never pass this dress down to anyone. I would never want anyone else to ever wear this dress. This dress is horribly dirty from being worn for over 12 hours and having all sorts of fun in it. I will never dry clean it. I will never preserve it. I don't even have a place to store it!!

So after MUCH thought & MUCH consideration (and questioning by my friends and followers)....I am going to do what I envisioned would be the next life of this dress....

I am trashing the dress and using it as my Halloween costume this year. I will be "fittingly"... a new vampire bride. The blood has been bought...the rips & tears & stains will be happening.

Everyone has their own special attachment to their wedding dress. It's attachment varies to each and every single person. Bringing my wedding dress, which brought me so much happiness, love, fun & memories will now be brought back to life on my all time favorite holiday. It will have another chapter to it....and I can't wait. 

I'll be sure to share pictures with everyone!! 

In a few days we all become alive!! Have a very safe and a very Happy Halloween!!

Oh, 20!!

Age has always been nothing but a number to me. When I was 10 and younger I learned to grow up fast and pick my own self off the floor. When I was 12-13 years old my best friends were 16-17…this wasn’t a bad thing at all. They looked after me. They taught me how to live…without fucking up completely at life. I haven’t talked, seen or heard from any of them since I was younger but I sure do hope they are living a great life…one like they showed me I deserved.

I turn 30 tomorrow.

I never thought I would make it to 20….let a lone 30. To be honest….I thought I would have killed myself by now. Every year in my “teens” was a battle…even when they were good. I remember being 14 and talking to a friend and saying “I’ll be dead by the time I am 30, no doubt.”….I still got a few hours so I guess I better be careful huh?? LOL

But my 20’s….oh my 20’s….

Again…age is nothing but a number but I look at these past 10 years and they have been the most prominent of my life.

I loved. I loved so hard. I loved so hard that I had to let go of that love before it ruined us both because we both had to grow. We both had to learn…and it wasn’t a lesson we could learn together, unfortunately.

I went against myself, in more ways than one. I battled demons and some fights I did not win. I learned more about my weaknesses in my 20’s than in any other decade. I learned that weaknesses can turn into something beautiful. I felt a connection to another energy that I still hold dear…it was a lesson…that I needed to learn.

That lesson somehow, someway, let me become a wife..something I *NEVER* thought I would be & wasn’t sure  I wanted. I am the wife to a man who NEVER in a million years I thought I would go out on a date with…let alone spend the rest of my life with. But he is my everything. He has always been there…since I was 10 years old actually, lol…I just never knew he was “the one” until it was really my (our) time to know.

My 20’s were filled with success, a bit of “stardom” and a lot of ups and downs.

In my 20’s I (no particular order) :
  • Lost a love
  • Lost weight
  • Gained a deep friendship
  • Gained weight
  • Lost a deep friendship
  • Found L.O.V.E.
  • Started a blog
  • Lost A LOT of weight
  • Went to NY to do a WW success story
  • Went to Chicago to be on Oprah
  • Was featured in local newspapers and news channels
  • Weight Loss Story published in magazines, online, and in a book!
  • Was a face in the Weight Watchers Believe campaign
  • Had my own TV commercial
  • Set up #SyracuseStrong which was “just a run” to help show support to the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings…I invited 30 people….over 1000 showed up
  • My heart learned to grow a little bigger and a little stronger when my stepson came into my life
  • My mother went through massive brain surgery…the hardest thing I have had to watch and stay strong through to date (universe…that is NOT a challenge)
  • I GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!
  • I found new friends…and I learned where some of my “friends” really stand (still learning this one)
  • I gained all my weight back
  • I ran my 1st 5K
  • I ran my 1st 10K
  • I ran my first (of many to come) 1/2 marathons
  • I was a Weight Watchers leader
  • I got high blood pressure
  • I joined a Fantasy Football League…seriously
I'm sure I am leaving things out...but see…I’m not scared about turning 30. Because 30 is just a number.

I am scared because my 20’s…even with all the ups and downs, the gains, the losses…my 20’s fucking ROCKED!!!!!!!

Will my 30’s compare?? What do I have to look forward to in my 30’s??

Did I reach my “peak”…is it just cruise control from here on…

I sure hope not.

Thank you for being with my during this time….here’s to the next chapter!!!! THIRTY BEERS FOR EVERYONE!!!!! XOXOXO

I’m a TRACK star!!!!


and no, not the kind down by the school yard.

Woah….those were some sick rhymes I just spit out. Maybe I should become a rapper?!?! Or one of those SLAM poets?!?! No??  Stick to my day job you all say…..fine.

I’m a track star because as of today I have tracked every single day for an entire month!!!!

I really am in shock to be honest. Over the past year I have been lucky to maybe successfully track 2 days in a row. But a month ago something just “clicked” and it has stuck with me for the entire month. I have tracked every single Bite, Lick & Taste!!  Well, everything except for my beers. But just the fact that I’ve tracked ALL of my food, EVERY day (yes, even weekends and a “freebie” day) for an ENTIRE month is such an amazing accomplishment for myself.

My weight loss progress has been slow (please note sentence above about the beers) but there are still some things I haven’t put any much effort into (please note sentence above about the beers) but I told my self…one thing at a time.  I’m down 3.4 lbs so far and that is WAY better than putting on another 5-8 lbs which would have happened this month if I wasn’t tracking and paying attention to what I am putting into my body.

Tracking is now a HABIT AGAIN!! And that feels fucking AWESOME!! I’m holding myself accountable. I’m checking my Weight Watcher Point Values. I’m calculating that shit and putting it into my WW app multiple times a day. Have I mentioned how awesome this feels??  Have I mentioned that while I don’t have control of everything (please note sentence above about the beers) in my life right now, I DO have control of my tracker!! I know the streak wont last forever, but I know the habit is back in place and I am not letting it slip away from me AGAIN!!

Now it’s time to move onto the next habit I need to work on again (please note sentence above about the beers).

I have become a track star AGAIN!!  If I can do it….so can YOU!!

If you haven’t already please come on over and ‘Like’ the Facebook page I started for this blog. I am loving it and I really enjoy posting there and seeing all the support and inspiration that we all feed off of each other. I try to post stuff daily…it’s definitely a lot more frequent than it is around here, LOL.

Blog reader Katy wrote to me and told me about this awesome thing she is doing called the Miracle Marathon Journey.  Here is what she had to say about it…

Since a traditional marathon is 26.2 miles, Miracle Marathon adds a special touch by adding one more mile "for the kids." Over the course of 27 days, we are going to complete one mile per day by walking, running, dancing, skipping or just moving to reach that goal. It's a marathon - plus an extra mile - for the kids! All donations are tax-deductible and collected securely by Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. 100% of the proceeds go to my local MU Children's Hospital.

If you can please visit her fundraising page here and support this awesome cause and cheer Katy on for her 27.2 miles!! GO KATY!!

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