Struggling with Struggles

*This post is kind of a collaboration post with my dear friend *Bitchcakes*  This is a topic that is brought up to us a lot from people who follow us on Twitter and such and we felt is was important to address the subject here on our bloggy-blogs.  So of course, please go over to her blog post here to read her thoughts about the struggles we face once we reach goal*


Many, many times I have heard from people online AND in real life the following statement: 

“You mean, you still struggle after hitting your goal weight??” 

When people say that to me I am astonished!! I feel bad in a way because sometimes I just outright laugh.  But I can’t help it.  The fact that people would think to ask that kind of blows my mind.  But then again, I guess I used to wonder the same damn thing too huh.  

Here’s a secret….Sssshhh, don’t tell anyone I told you OK...

When you hit your goal weight YOU STILL STRUGGLE!!

Crazy right?!?!  Who would’ve thunk?!

Sure, maybe as a Lifetime Weight Watcher member I don’t FREAK about what the scale says every week, or if I had too much sodium the night before a weigh-in, or allow myself that extra ninth beer.  But you have to remember something…
Losing weight is not the answer to what the real problems are.  Not fitting into a size 8 jean is not the problem, the problem is what GOT you into not being able to fit into that size 8 (and that’s more than just stuffing your mug with some pizza pie).

Unfortunately, when you step on the scale and it shows that magical # that you have been working oh so hard for, all of your “issues” and struggles do not disappear. When you step back off that scale, you still have to be just as aware of your actions (or non-actions) as you did before you saw that winning #. 

I still have to tell myself to not buy that brick of cheese.
I still have to force myself to get to the gym on some (ok lately, most) days.
I still have to tell myself that choosing the multigrain bread over the white is a much better choice.
I still have to say “OK Suzi, just one more beer….”And then STOP at that one (again, still a hard struggle).
I still get on the scale at home everyday to keep myself in check.
I still have to drink my water, eat my veggies, watch the carbs, watch the fats, choose the protein, watch the chocolate, stay away from the dip, light cheese please, dressing on the side, no croutons (I give them to Melanie :P), Ben & Jerry who??
I STILL have to TRACK what I eat!!

OK, so here comes the uber cliché part but….this is a lifestyle, not a diet. And a lifestyle is something that you DO…everyday, every hour, every minute.  Choices are abundant and they are every where at all times.  You still have to be aware to make the “better” choice when you are at your goal weight.

You are never going to be “cured” from eating the whole brick of cheese in one sitting….you just know how to say “NO CHEESE, NO!” a lot easier.

In some cases (not to scare you here) but there are MORE struggles.  Like, how the hell do I maintain my weight loss now?!?!  What is this new body and what do I do with it??  Why is it that I’ve lost 101 lbs, but gained a couple back and all of a sudden I feel like a huge blob, yet I’m under goal weight & when I was at this weight 8 months ago I felt like Hedi Klum(please tell me I’m not crazy)??  Every weight loss, big or small, comes with it’s own set of “new struggles”.  But of course, these new struggles mean new learning’s which mean new self growth!!

The biggest thing I still struggle with?? Being consistent.  Consistent with my tracking, my running and of course, my beer (and by being consistent with beer, you all know I mean by NOT consistently drinking a 6 pack+ a night LOL).  I have to work on this everyday and I will have to for the rest of my life.  Sure, that sounds kinda sucky but I know that if I don’t I will just end up where I was 2 years ago…252 lbs and absolutely fucking miserable.  And that is a place I never want to be again, so I’m ok with struggling. 

The weight loss may come to an end, but the journey to a healthier and happier will always continue on. (Look for my inspirational greeting cards to hit the market any day now) 

The Power of Poetry

A dear friend shared a poem with me that really touched me.  It's something I think I could read everyday. It's something so simple, but yet so powerful. I wanted to share it with you all....

Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters

a poem by Portia Nelson
(published in her book: There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery)

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

Dear Wonder Down Under, I am so sorry...

I’m behind on a lot of posting. It’s hard with all this beautiful weather (I write from inside, shielding myself from the 112 degrees outside). But seriously, I do apologize for my lack of updates. Here in Central NY we don’t get much of a summer, just a lot of snow, so I try to soak up as much of the sun as I can during these times.

The weather has been too hot in the evenings for running. At least for me anyways. I’ve been trying to get out in the AM. Some mornings I am successful, others not so much.

This past Tuesday was one of them where I was not. But, I didn’t really want to take a rest day. Also, Tuesday was the day I could finally drink again (I did another 7-day beer/alcohol free cleanse) and I didn’t want to just go home and start pounding the beers back. OK…actually, I DID want to do that, but I know that’s a no-no good for me, so I chose to do this instead…..

I went to my very first Spinning Class. Or as I like to call it, the Vagina Massacre.

Yes folks, believe it or not, I have never been to a spin class before. In some ways I was scared. I’ve always heard about the butt kicking and sweat pouring and maybe in some ways I was worried I wouldn’t be fit enough for such a class. Kind of silly coming from someone who runs ½ marathons and is about to run a full huh??

I was ready….my lady business was not.

Did I enjoy the class though?? You bet your sore asses I did!! I don’t think I have EVER sweat so much in a class or even a workout for that matter (be careful what you wish for Suzi). The music was fun…it was a mix of new school beats with old school beats. We actually ended on Led Zepplin!! How awesome is that!? The instructor was super nice and she kicked our butts properly, but wasn’t all crazy military style (that type of training never appeals to me).  That 1 hour class also earned me 11 APs (Weight Watcher Activity Points).

It was not scary at all!! I don't know why I let me fear of taking this class hold me back for so long.  It's great because in a way, you control how hard you push yourself.  And somedays, that is just what we need...a good challenge amoungst ourself!!

Let this be a healthy message & reminder to not let fear stand in your way of doing something that you really want to do.

So will I be going back again next Tuesday?? Of course!! As long as spinning doesn’t start to interfere with my sex life, I will be going regularly. Maybe this time I will bring a gigantic sanitary pad with me to stuff in my shorts. :/

Something's to Mention:
  • A couple of weeks back I did a Podcast with the amazing Christina and her Husband Jerry.  They run an amazing site called Miles4Kids.  I had such a blast talking with them...for the 2nd time, hee hee. The first time we taped, the record button wasn't working.  It just made the 2nd time around all that more fun!! You can listen to my episode here.
  • This past week was the first week in a very, VERY long time that I tracked EVERY day of the week AND I tracked EVERYTHING I ate and drank!! I also earned 42 AP's for the entire week!!  Let's be honest, tracking can be hard sometimes.  Especially hard to keep it consistent and I find it harder to do that when at my goal weight.
  • I have not forgotten about the Vlog!! Thank you SO much to everyone who left a question in the comments or sent me an email.  I got a lot of great questions and I have put them all together.  Looks like there will be more than one vlog post coming up :) Now it's just finding the time & a quiet spot to do it.
  • A few readers and Twitter followers asked me where I got the grey t-shirt with the runner on the front that I was wearing in my previous Boilermaker recap post.  It is from Generation UCAN and it can be purchased here.  When you buy this cool tshirt you also give back to the  M.E.B (Maintain Excellent Balance) Foundation!!
  • I'm currently working on a side blog that will be beer related!! I am super stoked for this.  It's called 'Pints & Pumps' and it will focus on women, beer, and healthy living. I hope to get it up and running by next week and I hope everyone enjoys it.

There’s no such thing as enough free beer…


This Sundays Boilermaker 15K was a *BLAST*!!!!

I set out and accomplished EXACTLY what I wanted to do with this race…have fun!!

I finished in 1:37:39 and I am totally happy with that.  Yes, it’s a couple minutes slower pace than I have been running, but considering that I hadn’t ran in over 2 weeks, been dealing with hip issues & hadnt ran that far since the Buffalo 1/2 marathon, I have no regrets or disappointment's about my time or my performance.

My hip actually held up pretty good.  The last 5K part of the race was the hardest part. That’s when my quads really started to act up.  But I kept running along.  The hills were not as bad as I had imagined and thanks to my homemade Generation UCAN gel I made I had plenty of oomph & energy to get through them.

DSC00801Crossing that finish line was great, and of course…so was the free Saranac beer.  Of course, there is never enough free beer for me!!

So here are some pictures from the weekend.  The Saturday before the race we attended the Race Expo (Which was AWESOME!!) and then did the Saranac Brewery Tour (Which was even MORE AWESOME and seriously, the best $5 we’ve ever spent…if you ever get a chance to go, DO THIS BREWERY TOUR!!).  I didn’t carry my camera with me on race day and I accidently left it in the car, but we did snap a few pictures with our phones.  Enjoy!!

DSC00718The Goggles make their appearance of course!!


Please note that in the 4 photos above, we had consumed NO beers as of yet…

Now onto the beer!!!!DSC00732DSC00739The clock above is worth 1.3 million dollars…where the hell is a truck when I need one!!

DSC00741I will take one of each please!!

DSC00748DSC00749DSC00752DSC00759DSC00762These barrels are actually from Jack Daniels.  They actually smell like whiskey.  They are working on a new brew Winking smile

DSC00764DSC00769DSC00774DSC00775DSC00777DSC00781DSC00784DSC00788DSC00791I never buy hats but I loved this Utica Club one!! I put all my Boilermaker pins on it too

DSC00794The gang at a great place called ‘Babes’.  More beer and Carbs!! Carbs!! Carbs!!

DSC00797And of course, I had to try the safety goggles on for myself!!

And, here are a few photo’s from race day (After party baby!!)….


7zjvm82bqwYeah, no words need to be said about the two photo’s above….2 of the coolest people we met at this race.

olatxIMAG1074IMAG1075Shara’s drunk. I love her!!


This is the Syracuse Mascot, Otto The Orange…I saw him on the way to the after party & he gave me the devil horns!! HELL YEAH!! \m/

I feel like I’m leaving out so much, but really, there is nothing else to say beyond that this race was awesome!! The fellow runners were awesome, the volunteers and spectators were awesome, the vendors were awesome, the bands were awesome, the after party was awesome, the beer was awesome (duh!).  It was AWESOME…and I can’t wait to do it all again next year.

Next up….Turning Stone Races 1/2 Marathon in August.  My last 1/2 before the full…DUN,DUN,DUN!!

No expectations


No expectations…That’s my moto going into this Sundays Boilermaker 15K race. 2011-Boilermaker-Logo1-250x200As many of you know my past 2 races were pretty much a let down to me in some ways.  Most of the reason they were let downs is because I put so much pressure on myself…WAY too much pressure.  I was worrying about what time I would finish, what my pace would be, how strong I felt, how I looked, how I compared to others racing that day, all of that ridiculous garbage.

Sunday’s race, I am going in with none of that garbage on my mind. 

I don’t give a fuck what time I finish.  I don’t give a fuck what my pace is. I don’t give a fuck who finishes what where and when.

All I care about it that I have fun and I cross that damn finish line.

I haven’t ran in 2 weeks mostly due to my hip (other pure laziness), which isnt 100% but I should be good.  I went to a chiropractor for the first time ever this past week and I think it helped some.  But even though I haven’t been running, I feel strong.  Maybe it’s because I am itching to run so badly.  Who knows.

The thing about the Boilermaker is that it’s pretty much a well known beer race.  It’s main sponsor is Saranac Brewery and umthere is free beer at the finish line!!


FREE BEER…AFTER RUNNING!!  There’s also a killer after party which I’m really looking forward to as well (duh). 

That’s right folks, this race was made for Suzi.  And 13,000+ other people as well.  The race is HUGE.  So therefore, I know that time and pace and all that nonsense just shouldn’t matter.  *FUN* is what should matter, so FUN is what I plan to have!! :)

Tomorrow is the expo and afterwards we are going to the Saranac Brewery for a tour.  I am *CrAzY* excited for the tour!!  My mother is coming along as well as my friend Shara who is also running the race.  This will be a bit strange for me since it’s always just Frankie and I at my races, but I think it will be nice and will just add to the key element….FUN!!

This race is kind of the start of me kicking my ass back into gear.  I’m a few weeks behind in my training for the full marathon, so in a way, this race is my long run for the week.  Also, while I am at my goal weight I am not at my “awesome” weight (which is just a few lbs under).  I haven’t been tracking and I’ve been making poor decisions and that has to stop.  I’ve been slowly working on all of that this past week. 

So those are my goals for Sunday….having no goals, LOL.  Eh, I guess there are SOME goals.  Like, don’t get injured, cross the finish line, be careful in the heat, HAVE FUN, drink beer!!

Good luck to everyone else out there running races this weekend!! #UCAN RUN FOR FUN!!

A day at the beach…


Today has been a fabulous day. Of course it’s not over yet so I am probably jinxing it BUT….

Today…we went to the beach.  This is the first time I’ve been at the beach in YEARS!! 

Not only did I go to the beach, BUT…I also wore my bathing suit out in public…meaning, other than at just Golds Gym.

Here are some pictures to document the day…


The Frank, just having a blast…


Thunder thighs to the rescue….


Mmmmmm, water…..

I look like the hulk here….

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DSC00703 (1)2

DSC00704 (1)2

I’m such an artist….


A couple hours later at Coopers Landing…my all-time favorite bar….



My bloggin’ peeps…This is a special message from THE FRANK:

“They won’t believe it’s us without beer in our hands. Plus, I shaved…so they will wonder who that good looking motherfucker is that you are with now….”

So….here is a picture to prove it’s us…Love, The Frank-



Have a very happy and very safe July 4th everybody!!!!

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