This time next month…

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I will be running my very first ½ marathon!  I will be running the Rock & Roll Philadelphia ½ marathon on September 19th.  But you guys already know that huh?? 

ingThe hotel is booked and the request has already been put out there for some great suggestions for Frankie and I to do while we are down there.  I’ve been a few times but this will be his first time and I’m very excited to be able to share this experience with him and learn and grow together. 

So here are some questions for you folks…

  • Any of you running a ½ marathon…or if you are completely nuts, a full marathon??
  • Do you plan to or have you been following any specific training plans??
  • What are your thoughts on Carbo-loading the night before??  Anything in particular you know you want to go carb-crazy on??
  • When you day dream about crossing the finish line (don’t lie, you know you do) do you imagine yourself breaking down into tears??  No??  Just me?? Oooookaaaayyyyy then…

In other running news, I completed my very first “official” 10K this past Sunday!!  There were not many participants (only 59 people) which was kind of awkward but it was a lot of fun.  I was hoping to finish in less than 75 minutes and I did just that and then some…my official time was 1:09:53!  Just a pinch under 70 minutes.  Considering that the race was on trails, I think this is a great success.  I feel like I’m on a good path for the ½ marathon.

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This is the very first race I have ever done “unplugged”.  No music, no Nike+, nothing tracking me but the timing chip they strapped on my shoe!  It felt nice, really nice.  Considering the lack of people, I was alone a lot of the times and running through the woods and listening to the nature was quite beautiful and somewhat peaceful.

My only real complaint is that there was only 1 water stand.  Most 10K’s that I'm aware of at least have two.  Here I am 1/2 way through:

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My only other complaint would be that while Beaver Lake is gorgeous, running the same 3 mile and some change route twice.  It was like looking at all the same stuff over and over again. 

All in all I had a great week for activity.  Sunday was the race. Monday I chose to walk 2.7 miles to and from the video store instead of riding my bike or driving my car.  Tuesday night, though I really didn't want to, I worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes.  Yesterday I had so many errands to do I didnt get a chance to “workout” but I did lots of walking.

I was up 1.2 lbs this week at my Weight Watchers meeting but that was to be expected.  Truth be told, I was up around 6 last week on my home scale.  I did some major repair and recovery so I’m ok with what the scale said.  I know what I did, I accept it and I have moved on.  Who knows, maybe I was up due to increase in muscle mass because I now fit into a *size 10*!!!!  Here is the fabulous new skirt I got yesterday…in a size 10:skirt

Did I mention the skirt is a size 10??  ;)

A few people were shocked when I said size 10 because they thought I was a smaller size (*thank you!*) but I’m 5’9 so a size 0 aint ever happening on this body.

All in all, I had a lot of great accomplishments this week that I can be proud of.  Tonight I am going to relax and let myself indulge in a few “naughty” food treats and wake up tomorrow ready and roaring to go!!  This week will be awesome!!!

XOXO

Dear Beer,

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Dear Beer-


Oh beer, I love you *so* much. You and I have been very good friends for many, many years now. I go to you when I’m feeling blue and when I’m feeling happy. I turn to you to help me unwind after a long hard day at work, or a long strenuous run. I even turn to you to just help me relax on a beautiful sunny day. Oh beer, I love you.

I haven’t always loved you though. There was a time where I thought you were bitter and nasty but then I learned that enjoy a certain taste of you. I love that you are not always perfect and like me, we have different aspects of ourselves that we don’t always want to show.

As much as I love you beer, you bring out a bad side of me sometimes. I don’t mean that you bring out an angry drunk kind of side of me, but you bring out a side of me that throws my health decisions out the window. You make me want to turn to the “dark side”. You make it harder for me to say “No!” to night time snacking and you make me say “Yes!” to eat that cheese in the fridge. I can have a whole day of making good, healthy decisions, but then after drinking a 12 pack of your delicious goodness; my day no longer feels like its been a healthy one. On most days I find myself spending more than half of my daily allowed points on you!

I can’t seem to just stop at one, or two, or three. You go down so easy and taste so delicious. Nothing else in the world calms me as much as a beer after work does. I’ve been blessed/cursed with having a strong tolerance to you, so getting drunk on you is very hard to do (depending on which of you I’m drinking of course) so it’s hard for me to say “STOP!” when you are calling my name from the fridge.

Just when I think I have figured out the perfect formula of consuming you while losing weight, I seem to spiral downhill and fall into an unhealthy rut for a few days.

But beer, you have gotten me through a lot. You have brought good times, and you have brought bad times. I could never imagine not consuming your deliciousness but I think we have to rethink our relationship and just how much time we spend together. Beer, I love you, and I can’t quit you.

With Love-Suzi
xoxo

The Art of Impulse

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I don’t know what came over me. Last weekend went by and while I wasn’t in complete control I still held onto a little bit. It was enough to start the week feeling like I was ok and like the chance of being down at least .2 so I could get my 80 lbs star would be possible.
Then it started Tuesday night.

I have somehow gotten back into the habit of drinking beers every night again. Thankfully it’s the Bud 55’s and on most nights, it’s not to the extreme of a 12 pack or anything. So Tuesday night I’m sitting there on my couch around 9 O’clock at night when it hits me….I’m STARVING!! I was so hungry. I knew I had no points left though, especially with the beer I had been consuming. I thought about it and I decided that I was not going to give in. I pushed the urge to eat aside and found something else to do.

Then Wednesday came.

All I wanted to do was eat, eat, eat. I was so hungry. And carrots and hummus were just NOT doing the trick. Frankie wanted to stop by McDonalds for lunch and I was *SO* tempted to say “screw it all!” and get a hamburger and fries but instead I got a salad. I did however steal a bite of his sandwich and a couple of fries.
Then in the afternoon I was STARVING again!

I got some light chips out of the vending machine.

Then we ordered Chinese food for dinner, where I ate almost everything I ordered. That hasn’t happened in a LONG time.

Then I drank the rest of my Bud 55’s but boy oh boy I was still thirsty so what did I do you ask???? I started drinking the Coors Lights. I probably drank almost 18 beers. Nice! This would lead me to have one of the shittiest hangovers that I’ve had in a while.

Then Thursday came.

Normally I have my Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday but I had pretty much already decided that I wouldn’t be going to my meeting this week. Part of me felt really guilty about this because I’ve missed a couple meetings in the past few months. I thought about going and using my “no weigh-in” pass (I have yet to use that) but then the more I thought about, and the more my hangover reminded me, I was in no place mentally to step into that meeting. It wouldn’t have lifted my spirit or motivated me…well technically it probably would have but I was being so snotty that I didn’t want to have any part of it. So with all of this decided and my hangover getting worse and worse, I consumed the following yesterday:

Breakfast- Multigrain bagel with light cream cheese & a medium caramel latté light from Dunkin Donuts
Lunch- Applebee’s trio platter, a chicken tender, and then a mini chocolate bar in the afternoon.
Dinner/evening- Beer of course, a slice of cheese pizza, antipasto salad with regular ranch dressing, then Frankies crust from his pizza. A tub of cheese curds and then some other spicy cheese curds with some rf crackers.

Yup. I don’t need to tell you how I feel today, and I most certainly do not want to tell you what the scale said this morning (why I even stepped on it is beyond me).

So why did I do this to myself?? Looking back on it every moment was a choice (duh!) and it was an opportunity to make the right, healthy decision but instead, I acted on impulse. I only briefly thought about what the good choice should be but paid more attention to the bad choice. I simply quickly acted on the impulses. I could have came out stronger, wiser and certainly a few pounds lighter but instead I chose to throw all logic out the window so now I will most likely come out of this, well, maybe a bit wiser and stronger but also with a lot more questions and anger.

I’ve been trying to think about *why* I did this to myself. I started the new medication, which has a steroid in it, so was it the steroid that’s been making me so hungry?? Am I technically really as hungry as I think I am or am I just saying this because I *think* the steroid is making me hungry?? I’m so close to hitting that 85 lbs lost mark. Am I secretly sabotaging myself again to not hit another milestone??

I don’t have all the answers, nor will I ever. I know that today I don’t even want to think about food. All I’ve managed today is water (which is going down slower than usual) and coffee. Part of me is angry, disappointed, sad, frustrated. But then another part of me is forgiving and understanding. I’ve come so far. I can’t let TWO DAYS get me down so badly. I have to try to and get to the root of why I chose to partake in these behaviors so that way I am prepared for them when they creep up on me again because believe me, it will happen again. Hopefully though, this time I will be a bit smarter and not give into the act of impulse.

In other news real quick.  I am running my very first "official" 10K this Sunday.  It is at Beaver Lake and this is very same place where I ran my first ever 5K so thats pretty cool.















It's trails which is alot different than the road races obviously but I am excited about it.  Every run I've ever had here has been so nice and peaceful.  The 10K race does the Lake Loop trail twice, and about a mile of that goes over a boarwalk that is above a marsh.  It's pretty cool.  



















I'm not running it to make any time or anything but just to help give me some more experience of racing with a crowd and a longer racing distance before my 1/2 marathon. 

Some things never change

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So I had my physical yesterday.  All in all I will say that it came out with pretty good results.  My cholesterol and HL level were near perfect.  My vitamin D needs to go up a bit which I expected so starting today I am taking a 1000mg supplement.  I have good bowels (um…thanks doc!) and was even told I was a very beautiful young woman…I don't know if that was said just because I had to stand there naked for most of the physical or what, LOL.

The Dr. did find a small heart murmur but he said he is not concerned with it right now but he will obviously keep an eye on it when I go in for check ups and what not.  My stress test went pretty well (and exhausting!) and he said I did really good.  Overall I was deemed to be pretty darn healthy.

He feels that I do not have asthma but have issues with post-nasal drip.  Yeah, I could have told you that!  That explains why I choke to death on mucus while I’m running.  Anyways, he took me off my singular and has me starting the nasal spray ‘Veramyst’ so we’ll see what that does.  I go back in two weeks to re-take my asthma tests and if these come out negative than that will be final proof that I do not indeed have asthma. 

The doc does however wants me to keep my heart rate on or under 164…are you nuts?!?!  I exceeded that probably by 40 beats tonight just masturbating while Frank was out.  ;)  Anyways, I will try to keep a close eye on my heart rate.  I don't have a heart rate monitor nor can I afford one so unless someone wants to send me one, I’ll just have to do my best.

The Doctor was very nice.  I can see why he is so highly praised in our area.  He’s very thorough with his patients, especially his runners.  Like I said before, this man has ran over 300 marathons.  There are pictures and medals all over the place.  He is very down to earth and old school.  I can see where we butt heads on some things, but again, I just take some of the things he says as “advice”, not a necessary need.

Thank you again to all of you who wished me well and sent me calming words to help settle my nerves. 

In other news…

I don't think I really got too into this since I was kind of keeping this to myself but as you all know, I got my hair highlighted back in July, well actually once in April but they were not as visible as I wanted so I went back and got bolder, blonder ones done.  Here’s a picture I took about 2 weekends ago…

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Cute huh??  Yeah, I really liked them.  I liked them so much that I decided I wanted my entire head blonde.

Now, my hair has been jet black since I was about 13 years old.  I’ve had every color in the rainbow, and even then some.  I had a moment where I was a red head for a few years, but then went right back to the black.

I was determined to be a blonde though!  I thought on some weird level that with this weight loss, turning into a blonde would make the accomplishment seem “real”.  Like somehow, I was still going to look like a fat-ass with raven colored hair. 

I talked with my stylist and she told me that the whole transformation could take up to a year.  No bleach could get me to the blonde I wanted (think Anna Paquin blonde!).  A YEAR!!  A year of ugly poop-brown color hair with weird highlights.  She’s been my hair dresser for YEARS now…you think she would know that when it comes to my hair, I act on a whim and I’m extremely inpatient!!

Needless to say, I had an appointment for 2 weeks from today to get a color-out wash, which was to *try* and make the black and dark brown (????) and get a full head of highlights.  Did I mention that I am BROKE??  That I haven't even been able to book a hotel room for Philly yet and that Damon's birthday is this Friday?? 

So I started thinking…I’ve already invested $200 in semi-visible highlights.  I’m about to spent $140 on turning my jet black hair into a dark brown…I hate brown hair….is this really worth it??

NOPE! The truth of the matter is, I love my black hair!  It’s *me*.  It matches my complexion, whether tan or pale as snow, perfectly.  It makes my gorgeous ocean eyes stand out and twinkle.  It makes me feel exotic, sexy and strong!  Sure, I hate what comes along with being “that girl with the black hair & tattoos” but what the fuck ever.

Maybe one day, maybe even next summer, I will go back and do the highlights again.  Who knows.  

But here I am today:

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And I was being silly with this one but I thought it looked kind of cool:

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So there we have it my friends.  Some things never change…for long.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news

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So tomorrow I go to the Dr’s for a full physical.  Last week I had to go to get my blood work drawn.  And this week I had to fill out a packet of information that looked a whole hell of a lot more like the SAT’s:
IMAG0253IMAG0255That’s right people….139 freaking questions!!  WTF?!  And some questions are just ridiculous.  Like, how often do you cry? Or, have you ever told your doctor that your tonsils have been enlarged? 
Needless to say, so far I have only taken the time to fill out the important information.  Like my age, history of illnesses and current medications and such.  I will tackle the SAT portion of the packet today.

Before my physical starts though I am having a stress test done.  As many of you know, last year I was diagnosed with asthma.  Yes people that is correct, I LOST weight & developed asthma.  Go fucking figure!  Anyways, I still have issues and do to my family history with heart problems, I am not 100% comfortable with the diagnoses I was given, especially since I am still having problems.  If you guys read my running posts, you probably know that the first thing that dies on me and hurts my runs are my lungs and my heart rate being through the roof.  Well the nurses agreed and set me up for the stress test before the physical.  I’m hoping this can make me more comfortable about the whole situation, if it is indeed just asthma.

Here’s the thing…this is a brand new Dr. for me.  He comes VERY highly recommended and get this, he’s a runner.  Not just any ol’ runner though….he’s ran over 300 marathons!!!!!  Yeah, thats right, OVER 300 marathons!!  He’s an older gentleman and he believes in being thorough and doing things right.  I have yet to meet him.  Tomorrow will be the first time.  I’m excited, yet somewhat intimidated.  I’m hoping that he is as nice as everyone says and comes across helpful.  I have a really hard time finding doctors that I like. 

The other thing I am nervous about is the results.  I mean, *I* think I am healthy, but will the medical results prove to be the same??  I haven’t had a physical in…well, I don’t know.  I had my iron tested last year and that came out fine, but I’m hoping my vitamin D levels and whatever the hell else they test you for also come out OK.

But the thing is, I really understand the importance of getting this done.  And this is what I want to stress here in this post. 

My main reason for scheduling this physical was to have one done before my 1/2 marathon so I could go in there knowing I was healthy and ready to go.  A lot of people recommend getting this done.  But then I started thinking and talking to a few other people and I realized, I’ve lost 84.8 lbs…my body has gone through A LOT of changes!!  That’s a lot of change to put on a body and I want to make sure that everything is looking as great on the inside as it does on the outside.

So remember, as the physical aspects of you change, remember to keep up on the internal aspects as well.  We are not all here to just “look” healthy, but to *BE* healthy, ALL AROUND!     

Yesterday I didnt stick to my eating well plan.  Oh well.  It happens.  The graduation party was nice though and then we came back here and cooked out steaks.  I got a 4.54 mile run before we left and for some reason it was an extremely difficult run.  Even though I am sore from yesterdays run, I’m about to head out the door to try again!! 
xoxo

Thank god I drink 1 pt beers!

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Last nights Weight Watcher meeting was titled “STOP the Eat-A-Thon!” and I loved it! It was about taking a look at what put you in these “eat-a-ton” situations and how you can get out of them, or even better yet, PLAN for such an occasion.

So much in our society is focused around food….weddings, birthdays, hell even funerals! I don’t know if some of you are like me, but I’m also a culprit in celebrating a weight-loss with, you named it, FOOD!! Talk about a double standard right?? Nothing says “yeah I lost 3 lbs this week!” like a Big Mac & Fries huh??

Sometimes, ok…maybe a lot of the times, these “eat-a-thons” do not happen at a celebration out and about. They can happen right in your own home, on your own couch, in your own fridge. You don’t even realize that you have just eaten a whole bag of potato chips until you reach your hand in the bag and there are no more potato chips to put into that beautiful mouth of yours.

So what do you do from there?? A side of you says “fuck it! I’ve already done the damage” and you get up and continue to find something else to much away on. Then there is another side of you that says “Calm down. Track it. Move on!” Both sides though I think come with a feeling of guilt and it is that guilt that you must try to let go of.

Use the Weight Watcher tool of “reframing” (one of my fav tools) and step back and look at WHY you are doing this. Are you truly enjoying this moment? Will you be happy about it in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days? What put you in this situation and what can get you out of it?

We also talked about planning for these “eat-a-thons”. What can you do to prepare yourself for when you know you will step into a situation that will tempt you to start eating like you are in a Man VS. Food competition. Of course, my favorite thing is RESEARCH!! If you know the kind of food spread that will be there, study the portion size and point values for the items you might want to have there. Before going to a restaurant look up their menu and if possible, look at the nutritional value if they give it to you. Or maybe if you know you have a big event and you know you don’t want to be 100% strict, maybe get in some extra activity & eat light before you go.

In our weekly reader there was a quote from a leader that I absolutely loved and it said

“Aim for about 80% ‘healthy’ and 20 % ‘unhealthy’.”

I really agree with that. You have to enjoy yourself on this journey and have a little fun, other wise you will fall into a rut and resent the reasons why you are doing this in the first place.

All of this tied in very well for what I did this week that was “special”. I even earned a “Bravo!” star for it from my leader. If you follow me on Twitter you probably saw me talk about it with excitement Thursday night.

For the very first time EVER, I tracked EVERYTHING I ate & (get ready for this….) DRANK!! Yes, that means every single beer, every single thing I put in my mouth (even that 1 pt of WW cream cheese I ate with my fingers in the fridge one night ;) was put into e-tools. Now, I have always tracked pretty well. But I will admit that I usually went lazy with it from Thursday night to Saturday night. Usually I only used my paper journal, but this time I used the e-tools and it was so much fun (and scary) to see the numbers.

Now, here’s the thing. My numbers we’re high this week & there were only 2 days where I didn’t exceed my points. The majority of point here are beer. I had a rough week emotionally and I drank pretty much every night. Not too excessively or anything so don’t worry. Monday night was the only night I went overboard with the beer.

But I still lost 2.2 lbs this week!! I had a feeling I did pretty good since my eating was really on target, and I had been peaking on the scale at home, but I didn’t expect to see that big of a loss. It felt good and made me feel like the effort I put in to track so diligently really paid off!

Here, take a look for yourself…

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Also, by losing the 2.2 lbs that put my BMI into the ‘healthy’ range! I am no longer considered to be overweight! Talk about an amazing achievement right! So in a year and a half, I went from obese to healthy….even while drinking beer. ;)

So it just goes to show…We all have our moments. No one is perfect all the time (or even most of the time in my opinion).

Focus on your goals, TRACK, and forgive yourself….cause you kick ass!

I’m 7.2 lbs away from reaching my goal weight. Exciting/Scary stuff!!

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend.  Anyone doing anything exciting??  I have Frank's niece’s graduation party but other than that not much.  I’m hoping to get a long run in this weekend since it didn’t happen last weekend.  The clock is ticking away for my 1/2 marathon and I do not feel well prepared. :/

XOXO

A New Goal & New Shoes!

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A Year Ago Today

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A year ago today I lost my beloved Pele.  Feline diabeties claimed her from me far too soon.  I still can't believe its been a year.  I miss her *so* much everyday.  There is not a day that goes by where I don't think of her.  I love her very, very much.

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