Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Happy Soberween!!

As most of you know, Halloween is my favorite holiday. Every year I have certain things I do that day…cook certain foods, watch certain movies. I even take the day off of work. Yes, I use a vacation day for Halloween because in my book it is indeed a Holiday.

One of the traditions I have always done as an adult on Halloween is drink wine all day. It was probably the one day of the year where I would drink wine at a slow pace, lol. I would sip on wine throughout the day as I would cook and get dressed up. Then at night I would break out the Transylvania (which is now from a vineyard in California so it kind of lost its street cred) wine and drink that. Of course once that bottle was gone (and that bottle didn't last too long) I would switch over to delicious IPA beers. Even our neighbors would come over and “trick or treat” with beer for us.

Obviously this is a tradition that will NOT be happening this year.

I've made is threw a lot of “occasions” in my sobriety…an open bar family event, a Dave Matthews Concert, our 1 year wedding anniversary, summer in general, my birthday, running a half marathon celebration…a lot of these event’s I thought would be extremely difficult, and some of them were, and I know Halloween will be as well.

But I will do what I have been doing and that is setting myself up for success

I will make sure to have plenty of delicious sparkly water on hand. And to carry on the “wine” tradition I will pick up a bottle of some non-alcoholic wine. I’ve had non-alcoholic wine a few times before and it’s not that bad! I know that there are some who must steer clear of it because it is a trigger for them, but that is not really the case for me. Non-alcoholic beer however can be a trigger (since beer was really my poison) so I do not really consume that. I’ve had it twice while out on a lunch date with the hubby…it’s not awful, but it’s not good, and the taste just leaves me wanting more and set’s off that urge so I steer clear of it if I can.

I will pull out a fancy Halloween drinking glass or goblet and enjoy my non-alcoholic goodies in that. I think I might even get some yummy fruits like apples and black berries to garnish my waters. And how about some blood orange San Pellegrino…that is perfect for Halloween!!

Being sober (for a little over 8 months now) has taught me…well it has taught me many, MANY things, but one of them is that I can still enjoy holidays and functions and events without alcohol. Sure, there are some aspects of it that I miss and yes, the craving are still there…every. single. day. But each day I fight & I try my very best to stay strong and I remember how I was living every day for the drink and how my desire to not live like that again is stronger than my desire to drink. Sure, the idea of getting lost in a drunken haze sounds lovely. Giving myself one night to escape & succumb to the numbness that alcohol brings...I lived for that. But I don't live for that anymore. I can't...if I want to live at all. And I I don't.  

I do not need alcohol to enjoy or celebrate Halloween. The magick of the day has nothing to do with alcohol. The magick of Halloween is in the air and in my heart. So whether you are celebrating with an alcoholic beverage or not, 
*CHEERS* to a delightfully magickal Halloween!!

Be sure to check out my social media accounts for pictures of my costume this year!! 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Empire State Half Recap

So many thoughts.
So many thoughts ran through my head as I ran the ½ marathon this past Sunday. My first race since 2012. The first major race I have signed up for and not backed out of in over 2 years.

Some of those thoughts…

-What an awesome way to spend my birthday!
-I can’t believe I am actually doing this!
-Here we go! I am ACTUALLY doing this!
-Who the hell decides to spend their birthday this way?!
-OK, I started this…I HAVE to finish this!
-This sucks!
-Holy crapballz…I’m never doing this again!
-Worst birthday ever!
-I’m going to die!
-Holy crapballz I see the finish line!
-OK, run your ass through that finish line!
-When can I run another one!

Running through that finish line almost didn’t feel real. I can’t really explain it. There were SO many emotions…so many thoughts…good and bad. Of the past (I’ve ran a handful of these before damnit! Why can’t I run like I used to?!). Of the present (I should’ve been more prepared!). Of the future (I am running races again?!).

It was an odd feeling. On one hand it felt like common territory. I mean this wasn’t my first ½ marathon. But at the same time it felt brand new. This WAS my first ½ marathon since 2011. And it was also my first time running a race (especially a long one) at this weight.

I also had enormous support out there, which was also a first for me. Not only did I have my husband and my mother there but my uncle, his girlfriend & my cousin also came to support me as well. I’ve never had that much family support for me during a race…not even when I ran a marathon, lol. They even made me this kick ass sign!!

I also had support on the course with a lot of my fellow Lake Effect Runners who were running the race as well. I've been running with the Lake Effect Run Club for a few months now and it has been changing me not only as a runner, but as a friend as well. This is an amazing group of people and I am so thankful to call many of them my friend. Their support, encouragement and cheers kept me going through that entire course.  I wasn't just doing this to show myself that I could, but also to show them that I could too, and that made me feel very proud. (Quick shout outs (& they know why) to Mary, Brett, John, Russel, Jane, Michael & probably a ton others from that day that I am forgetting!!)

And of course there was the support from all of you. I don’t know if I could of kept going the way I did if it wasn't for you guys cheering me on. I started to live-update through Instagram once I got to the ½ way point. I was struggling for sure but you guys kept me chugging.

I struggled for a few reasons. One being that the weather was pretty crappy. It was very cold…definitely the coldest weather I have ran in since 2011, no doubt. And on top of that it was windy. I will run in rain…I will run in snow…I will not run in wind (well, apparently I will but I will hate every.single.second of it). Wednesday was the first day since the race that I didn't taste metal & blood in my mouth…YUCK!! The weather really took a lot of me & fatigued me very quickly. To my surprise my knee held up alright. It wasn't until mile 10 that I really started to notice any pain.  Let’s not forget that the knee injury (injured patellar tendon) kept me pretty laid up for weeks before the race. The longest run I got was 7 miles.  That surely did not make it any easier on me.

This race was a bit harder than I anticipated. I was so mentally picking out things that annoyed me (music, my handheld water bottle, my jacket riding up). I was focusing so much on how familiar my surroundings were and that was hard because it wasn't a distraction like I normally have in races this long. And of course I start doubting myself...*can* I really do this again?! Maybe I wasn't ready?! 

But I did what I do…I fought. I fought hard. I dug deep. I told myself that there was NO WAY I was quitting!! There was NO WAY I was backing out!! There was NO WAY that I was NOT finishing!! I would finish and I would finish hard, because 8 months I decided that enough was enough and I made a promise to myself that I would not let myself go again.  
I promised that I would not give up on myself…and I didn't.

My goal was to finish. Obviously I knew I wouldn't PR at all (my fastest 1/2 to date is 2:17) but I & given where my pace is right now with my weight & my knee, I thought it would be great and would be fair if I could finish at 3:30...I finished in 3:15!! 

Thank you *SO* much again to everyone for all the support & birthday love on Sunday!! You guys made that day utterly unforgettable!! XO

I will have more details about my next (yes, there is a next lined up!) ½ coming soon!! 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I am Suzi Storm...

So as many of you may (or may not) have noticed the name of this page and this blogs FB page has changed.
I have officially said "goodbye" to OK, Just One More Beer.

It took months of thought and as silly as it sounds, it was sad to say goodbye. But it felt like the right thing to do. I still remember the day I came up with that name...the day I decided to blog...and how it felt like such perfect name...and it was. But it just wasn't right anymore. The name didn't bother me. Seeing the word "beer" didn't trigger anything for me. It just didn't feel right didn't feel like didn't fit.

I thought about tweaking it a little but that just felt too long. Or changing it all together but I couldn't think of anything that I liked or sounded like me. I didn't want something cliche or that screamed "GO FITNESS AND HEALTH!!", lol.

I am me...I am Suzi Storm. If you follow me on my personal FB page you know that last week I switched the name from Suzi Storm to my married name. And if you have been following me for long eough you know that Storm is not my madien name.  My name is Suzi but Storm is something I came up with while talking with my husband. It wasn't blog or social media related. I thought it would be badass if my name was Suzi Storm. It kind of became a part of me when I first started my weight loss journey. It became to me what Sasha Fierce is to Beyonce...a side of me that I call upon when I need to kick ass. Some people in real life refer to me as Suzi Storm. That name has even been published in reference to me, lol.

Suzi Storm was here long before OK, Just One More Beer was...and Suzi Storm will be forever. It may seem a bit egotistical but oh well. This fits. This name, Suzi Storm, is not only me but is also a symbol of strength and perseverance. Every one has a storm within themselves...let that storm drive you towards your goals. Become the storm.

XO-Suzi F*cking Storm

P.S. I will have a 1/2 marathon recap post up soon!!