So many things change when you lose weight. Especially when you lose a significantly large amount of weight. No one can really prepare for these changes. They go far beyond anything the scale can show you. I can write this post and try to paint a picture of my experience, but it really won’t do much.
I was in the shower last week (cue porn music) when I reached behind my back and felt something funny…it was sticking out and had a curve to it...it freaked me out! What was it? My shoulder blade! I had completely forgotten what it felt like to feel my shoulder blades in that matter…or to be able to actually bend my body like that so I can.
Shaving my legs is like going through a whole new terrain. Muscles that I have built…muscles that I have forgotten about. My strong calf muscles that almost roll like hills. I have knee caps again! I have ankle bones! And did they get longer?! I swear it takes me twice as long to shave now. ;)
I have elbows! I have a collar bone! I have hip bones! Who the hell knew I had all these bones in my body?!?!
It’s not about the bones though…it’s about the shape. The shape of my body that these bones create. I shape that was long forgotten about when I regained the weight. I forgot what all of these things felt like. Sometimes I will rub my arm and feel something and think there’s an issue. There’s no issue…it’s just my body expressing itself in a new way. It’s not being hidden under excessive pounds of my own gluttony.
One of the biggest times I notice the changes in my body is while I am running. The way my arms don’t rub against my hips. The air between my thighs...I mean they still rub together, just in a different way. The weight I lift off the ground feels different so therefore my form has been different. This is something I have needed to stay aware of while I run.
I’ll be honest and just come out and say it (Grandma, don’t read this part…skip to the next paragraph)…sex has changed too….with and without my husband, ifyaknowwhatimsaying, LOL!! #brownchickenbrowncow Obviously my confidence level in my appearance has greatly increased, but also the way my body moves…the way it feels…the way it reacts. Now I’m not saying it’s any better or worse than it was at my previous weight. I mean, skill is skill…but…it has been something that has been noticeably different.
Then there is the fact that I can cross my legs again. I think this is something most women forget about when they gain weight. I think I definitely took it for granted last time. I realized about a month or so ago that I could indeed cross my legs again. Eat your heart out, Sharon Stone! I don’t have to question whether or not I can squeeze between those cars (unless you park like a total jackass). I don’t have to worry about whether or not the towel will wrap around my body. I don’t have to worry about not fitting into the movie theater seat. The knuckles on my hands…the length of my toes...the shape of my jaw. My face! My face is so different and I have talked about this on my Facebook page. I think out of everything this is something that I've had to adjust to the most. And I still am adjusting. That change brings a lot of emotions with it.
Look, I’m not bragging here. I’m still overweight (though happy to announce to that I am no longer in the obesity category!). But maybe because I had lost/gained/lost all within such a short period of time I noticed these changed to strongly this time. I remember the feeling of being able to wrap a standard size towel around my body…but this time it just felt different. The feeling of joy was stronger. Maybe because I don’t take any of it for granted. Maybe because I never want to go back to NOT being able to wrap a standard size towel around my body.
I wish that I had paid a little more attention to my body in this way the first time around. I think we get so caught up in the scale and numbers and goal weight, maintenance weight, Points, calories, Activity Points, miles, ect. that we forget one of the biggest recipient’s to receive the bounty of our hard work with weight loss…our physical bodies. No matter your size, I encourage you to really take inventory and learn the map that your body creates. You are in this body 24/7. This body LET'S you lose & gain & maintain. Learn it...accept it...love it.