Thursday, October 23, 2014

Empire State Half Recap

So many thoughts.
So many thoughts ran through my head as I ran the ½ marathon this past Sunday. My first race since 2012. The first major race I have signed up for and not backed out of in over 2 years.

Some of those thoughts…

-What an awesome way to spend my birthday!
-I can’t believe I am actually doing this!
-Here we go! I am ACTUALLY doing this!
-Who the hell decides to spend their birthday this way?!
-OK, I started this…I HAVE to finish this!
-This sucks!
-Holy crapballz…I’m never doing this again!
-Worst birthday ever!
-I’m going to die!
-Holy crapballz I see the finish line!
-OK, run your ass through that finish line!
-When can I run another one!

Running through that finish line almost didn’t feel real. I can’t really explain it. There were SO many emotions…so many thoughts…good and bad. Of the past (I’ve ran a handful of these before damnit! Why can’t I run like I used to?!). Of the present (I should’ve been more prepared!). Of the future (I am running races again?!).

It was an odd feeling. On one hand it felt like common territory. I mean this wasn’t my first ½ marathon. But at the same time it felt brand new. This WAS my first ½ marathon since 2011. And it was also my first time running a race (especially a long one) at this weight.

I also had enormous support out there, which was also a first for me. Not only did I have my husband and my mother there but my uncle, his girlfriend & my cousin also came to support me as well. I’ve never had that much family support for me during a race…not even when I ran a marathon, lol. They even made me this kick ass sign!!

I also had support on the course with a lot of my fellow Lake Effect Runners who were running the race as well. I've been running with the Lake Effect Run Club for a few months now and it has been changing me not only as a runner, but as a friend as well. This is an amazing group of people and I am so thankful to call many of them my friend. Their support, encouragement and cheers kept me going through that entire course.  I wasn't just doing this to show myself that I could, but also to show them that I could too, and that made me feel very proud. (Quick shout outs (& they know why) to Mary, Brett, John, Russel, Jane, Michael & probably a ton others from that day that I am forgetting!!)

And of course there was the support from all of you. I don’t know if I could of kept going the way I did if it wasn't for you guys cheering me on. I started to live-update through Instagram once I got to the ½ way point. I was struggling for sure but you guys kept me chugging.

I struggled for a few reasons. One being that the weather was pretty crappy. It was very cold…definitely the coldest weather I have ran in since 2011, no doubt. And on top of that it was windy. I will run in rain…I will run in snow…I will not run in wind (well, apparently I will but I will hate every.single.second of it). Wednesday was the first day since the race that I didn't taste metal & blood in my mouth…YUCK!! The weather really took a lot of me & fatigued me very quickly. To my surprise my knee held up alright. It wasn't until mile 10 that I really started to notice any pain.  Let’s not forget that the knee injury (injured patellar tendon) kept me pretty laid up for weeks before the race. The longest run I got was 7 miles.  That surely did not make it any easier on me.

This race was a bit harder than I anticipated. I was so mentally picking out things that annoyed me (music, my handheld water bottle, my jacket riding up). I was focusing so much on how familiar my surroundings were and that was hard because it wasn't a distraction like I normally have in races this long. And of course I start doubting myself...*can* I really do this again?! Maybe I wasn't ready?! 

But I did what I do…I fought. I fought hard. I dug deep. I told myself that there was NO WAY I was quitting!! There was NO WAY I was backing out!! There was NO WAY that I was NOT finishing!! I would finish and I would finish hard, because 8 months I decided that enough was enough and I made a promise to myself that I would not let myself go again.  
I promised that I would not give up on myself…and I didn't.

My goal was to finish. Obviously I knew I wouldn't PR at all (my fastest 1/2 to date is 2:17) but I & given where my pace is right now with my weight & my knee, I thought it would be great and would be fair if I could finish at 3:30...I finished in 3:15!! 

Thank you *SO* much again to everyone for all the support & birthday love on Sunday!! You guys made that day utterly unforgettable!! XO

I will have more details about my next (yes, there is a next lined up!) ½ coming soon!! 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I am Suzi Storm...

So as many of you may (or may not) have noticed the name of this page and this blogs FB page has changed.
I have officially said "goodbye" to OK, Just One More Beer.

It took months of thought and as silly as it sounds, it was sad to say goodbye. But it felt like the right thing to do. I still remember the day I came up with that name...the day I decided to blog...and how it felt like such perfect name...and it was. But it just wasn't right anymore. The name didn't bother me. Seeing the word "beer" didn't trigger anything for me. It just didn't feel right didn't feel like didn't fit.

I thought about tweaking it a little but that just felt too long. Or changing it all together but I couldn't think of anything that I liked or sounded like me. I didn't want something cliche or that screamed "GO FITNESS AND HEALTH!!", lol.

I am me...I am Suzi Storm. If you follow me on my personal FB page you know that last week I switched the name from Suzi Storm to my married name. And if you have been following me for long eough you know that Storm is not my madien name.  My name is Suzi but Storm is something I came up with while talking with my husband. It wasn't blog or social media related. I thought it would be badass if my name was Suzi Storm. It kind of became a part of me when I first started my weight loss journey. It became to me what Sasha Fierce is to Beyonce...a side of me that I call upon when I need to kick ass. Some people in real life refer to me as Suzi Storm. That name has even been published in reference to me, lol.

Suzi Storm was here long before OK, Just One More Beer was...and Suzi Storm will be forever. It may seem a bit egotistical but oh well. This fits. This name, Suzi Storm, is not only me but is also a symbol of strength and perseverance. Every one has a storm within themselves...let that storm drive you towards your goals. Become the storm.

XO-Suzi F*cking Storm

P.S. I will have a 1/2 marathon recap post up soon!!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Oh the 3 0

Just days away from my 31st birthday (October 19th is my birthday…same day as my return to the ½ marathon!!) and of course I can’t help but reflect a bit on my first year in a new decade.
I was not scared or upset to turn 30. Age to me has always been a number, even when I was younger. I always looked older and I sure the hell felt older thanks to all the curve balls life threw me as a child. I even hung out with older people. I never really could relate or connect to many my own age. This even stands today. Hell, I married someone 13 years older than me.

My 20’s were great though. I blogged about them here. But of course, my life has changed in enormous ways in just a year.

 While I was 30 I came to the realization (& accepted) the fact that I had become an alcoholic. I have since quit drinking and as of today I am 8 months sober. This has been by far the BIGGEST change of them all. This change I firmly believe is what has led to all of these other changed, in some way or another.

I've lost almost 60 lbs. Drinking has certainly helped but I can honestly say that it’s not the main reason behind my weight loss. I’m not going to lie…I was super bummed that I wasn’t dropping lbs like it’s hot. But not drinking certainly helped me to make smarter decisions when it came to food. I track every day. I’m on a crazy few months spree with tracking. In all my years of being a Weight Watchers member this is the longest I have gone with consecutive tracking. I knew how to lose weight and drink beer. I did that. I lost 101 lbs while never giving up beer. Giving up beer this time really hasn't made a huge impact on that.

I've started running again! This Sunday is not only my birthday but also my return to the ½ marathon. It will be my first time in a race since 2012. Running has obviously helped me lose these 60 lbs and vice-versa. I've never ran a race at this weight, and believe me I am terrified to see the race photos, LOL…but my drive is stronger than ever. Running has helped to keep me sane and has been a huge influence in my staying sober. I have also met many new friends through running and by running with the folks in the Lake Effect Run Club.

My relationships have changed. Some have been better…some have been strained…some have become non-existent. People come and people go. I have always and will continue to always cherish every relationship, every person that has been brought into my life. As I grow, I will continue to fight for the love and light that I want brought into my life.

I know what I want in life more now than ever…and at the same time I have more questions about life more now than ever. I know what I do and what I do not want in my life.  I am more selfish. I do not have the patience for the negativity of others. I've dealt with a lot of bullshit and I still deal with a lot of bullshit. I do not need to deal with the bullshit of others. Don’t make your problems my problems…I got enough of my own.

This really is a journey. Life is a journey. There are hills and mountains and gravel and pavement. There is fire and wind and water. We are teeny, tiny creatures in this big ass universe just skipping about. And I live my life now trying to be mostly humming and dancing through this journey….and that folks is my Matthew McConaughey portion of this post.

So basically what I am saying, in a nutshell is...I got my shit together when I was 30.

My first year of being a 30 year old was fantastic. I wouldn't change a thing. I can only hope that 31 will be just as awesome.

And I am still younger than BeyoncĂ©.