OK, just one more beer...

If you just smile….

2012-01-23T17:47:00.001-05:00

Recently for an interview I was asked “What physical part of you’re self do you love the most about the “new” you”… I answered this:

My SMILE!! 28 years later, thanks to Weight Watchers, I found *my* smile (again apparently) …

How I Became a “Believer”

2012-01-20T21:35:00.001-05:00

Well, I guess the secret to how I became a Weight Watchers “Believer” is not really much of a secret at all…I joined WW on September 18th, 2008 and lost 101 lbs on their program. I became a Lifetime member on December 23rd 2010 and have managed to keep my weight off for slightly over a year now. But you all know this already.

This is the story of how I became one of the faces in their beautiful BELIEVE campaign….

My story really starts in January of 2011. Day’s before I got an email asking me if I would be interested in becoming a Weight Watcher success story for their online site (which of course I said “HELL YEAH!!”). A few days prior I saw that they were casting for their upcoming TV commercials. I said to myself “Suzi…you just hit your Lifetime status…You’ve lost 101 lbs…why not give it a shot!?” So I broke out of my comfort zone and made a little video thing. I didn’t go all the way through the video application process because I didn’t think you could put the application on hold. So I did this whole video talking about my journey & success. Come to find out they wanted a video talking about the new Points Plus system...Oops.

I started to wonder if I got this email asking about doing the online success story from submitting my video & maybe I just wasn’t good enough for TV. Come to find out this person found my story through my blog & didn’t have anything to do with the casting for the commercial. I kind of had a sigh of relief that I wasn’t out of the running yet.

Then it happened. The night before I was to fly out to NYC I got an email. It was from someone at WW saying that they received my application and they were interested in seeing me audition but they needed my weight record.

I was in shock. I was in panic. I had SO much to do.

I ended up spending all night looking for places to scan my weight record but had no luck. So I woke up extra early before my already very early flight to NYC and stopped at work to scan them there and email them off.

I arrived in NYC…one of the best experiences in my life. Then I got an email from WW the very next morning before heading out to my photo shoot.

They needed ALL my weight records. Not just my current one. I must have misread it with being in such a hurry and with so much on my mind. All I could think of at that moment was “I’m screwed”.

I had to somehow find THREE YEARS worth of my WW records and get them mailed off ASAP…even though I was 5+ hours away from home and wouldn’t be there for another day. I felt I was doomed.

As soon as I got home (2 days later) it was the first thing I did. Thankfully I had actually kept all of my records. I went to work, scanned and emailed them right off.

A few weeks later I received the automated email they send out to all the people who did not make the cut for auditions.

I was OK with it. I thought it was a long shot anyways. Plus, I just did the NYC shoot with them. Plus I had the Oprah thing coming up. Life was going great, with or without the commercial.

Then came August. I saw that they were casting again. Somebody told me to try and submit a tape again…so I did. It was always a secret dream in the back of my mind to do this. I just felt like this was for me. Like all those years as a kid spent in chorus, in plays, on the stage…I was meant to do this. So I submitted a video. I wore the red dress from Valentines Day last year. I had my digital camera propped up against a candy jar (I wanted to be alone for this part) and I told my story again.

Months went by. Life got a little tough. Money was extra tough. Marathon coming up was looking tough. I was bored watching TV and decided to check my email around 9:30 at night. About 5 minutes prior to me checking I received this in my inbox…

“Dear Susan…We have been trying to reach you for over a week but it seems the phone # we have has been disconnected. We would love to speak to you about the video you submitted for the next Weight Watcher television commercial. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience.”

My exact words as I dropped my iPod touch were “Oh my god…Ohhhmy god….OH MY GOD!!” (I even got mad at The Frank because he mocked me and seemed uninterested LOL…jokes on him huh)

My earliest convenience was right then and there!! So I called and thankfully the person on the other line wasn’t sleeping. She said that they loved my video and would love for me to audition. Could I audition this Sunday??

This Sunday?? You mean, the day I am scheduled to run my very first full marathon?? GULP.

I explained to her my plans and started to say “but I can…” and she stopped me. She told me it was fine. I immediately thought “there goes another chance”, when she said “How about Tuesday?”

YES!! I could do Tuesday!!

As soon as I hung up I was elated. I was in shock and disbelief. I was also in a panic…I have to audition for my dream TWO days after running 26.2 miles for the first time ever in my life. WOW.

I didn’t sleep much the next few days. Between that news and the upcoming marathon I was a ball of...I don’t even know what…Nerves?? Excitement??

I’m not going to lie…this news really carried me through those miles at the Wineglass Marathon. When I was start focusing on the weather (abnormal cold, heavy winds, ice cold rain) or how my hip (slightly injured) felt I would adjust my focus back onto the possibility of this commercial. Without a doubt, this news helped me cross that finish line.

So Tuesday finally came. My audition was in downtown Syracuse (about 10 minutes from me) in the afternoon. It would be a video conference with the Manhattan casting agency. I was hurting. I was sore. I could barely stand. But there I stood in 5 inch heels waiting…and waiting….and waiting….Malfunction with the web cam. I was too nervous to sit though. I was too scared of wrinkling my blouse. I was too scared the thing would turn on and I would be crying in pain. So I just stood there, with blood filling up in my shoes because they were so swollen & in so deformed, trying to hold back the tears of pain. They auditioned someone else while I waited for them to fix whatever problems. There was talk of them rescheduling me…but 45 minutes later, we got it working.

I tried my best. I gave it my best. I tried to be myself as best I could considering how I felt. I left there feeling proud that I was able to give that much, but I didn’t think I had a shot in hell.

Then I got a call two days later to come back for a 2nd and final audition. I couldn’t believe it. (ha…Believe…get it??)

Now I had to go and be awesome in front of the producers…with the worst cold I’ve had in years (thank you Corning, NY for the great weather marathon day!!).

So I showed up for my second audition, in the same clothes I wore to the last one. Only this time I came armed with a package of Halls Cough Drops and a box of tissues. I felt like death. But again, I gave it my all. The very best that I could do considering how I felt. On my way there a man stopped me on the street and said “I just want to tell you that you are so beautiful”. I almost cried. I didn’t really feel beautiful that day, but I held onto his words going into the audition.

I left feeling like maybe this COULD happen. Maybe it was GOING to happen. But I was still so unsure. I still didn’t feel on top of my game.

Then, on October 18th, the day before my birthday….I got the call at work. I happened to be out back in an area of the warehouse where no one was taking a check list of calendar supplies. I heard the loudspeaker say that I had a call. I rarely get calls. I decided to just pick the phone up back there.

It was one of the ladies from the agency. But not the one I had been dealing with. My heart sank.
“Susan…It’s “insertnamehere”…I have great news…..”

I finally Believed…and proceeded to bawl like a little girl.

Some is better than none

2012-01-13T09:46:00.000-05:00

Exercise…..ugh…..exercise.
It seems to be my greatest affair, or my worst enemy. For months, I will say ever a couple of years it was my EVERYTHING. I don’t think I went more than 2 days without getting some kind of workout in. And “some kind” of workout was usually at least a 3 mile run, at minimum. Because I trained myself to believe that anything less than 3 miles didn’t count.

Honestly, Exercise has been on the back burner ever since my Marathon in October. I thought after the marathon I would get bit by the running bug again, since I lost some of my passion for it during the summer, but no bug bit me.

Which brings me to today…

As I have shared. The end of November through beginning of January has been a little rough. I haven’t been following WW as well as I should and normally do. I’ve let a couple of lbs creep on. I let exercise become a faint memory. What?? I ran a marathon a few months ago??

BUT…I have taken back control!! I’ve been tracking like a fool, staying within my DPV (daily points values) and I haven’t had a beer since Sunday night. GO ME!! I’m feeling awesome and more like myself than I had the past few weeks.

I’ve even been working out a little bit, slowly adding it back into my routine as not to overwhelm myself as I tend to do sometimes. Right now I’ve been focusing more on what I’m eating & putting into my body with working out being next in line.

Running has still not caught up to me yet. Mind you, I’m not having issues with running more than 3 miles. Of course, it all pretty much has to be done on a treadmill because I do not like to run in the dark where I live and that’s really my only option. I don’t mind the treadmill though. But I’ve been switching it up and have been rocking it out on the elliptical lately as well. It’s been a nice change of pace.

But sometimes I think to myself “Suzi, you only ran a damn mile” or “Suzi, you only worked out for 20 minutes”.

I never in a million years thought I would get to a point in my life where I would say I’ve ONLY ran a mile and not been happy about it.

So here is where I’ve adopted a new mantra…”1 mile is better than 0 mile!”

Pop Quiz Time:

Is it better to-

A.) Sit on the couch tipping back yet another beer or

B.) Getting mildly sweaty on the elliptical for 20 minutes (I know, this one is kind of a trick question)

Is it better to-

A.) Do Walk/Run intervals for 2-3 miles or

B.) Sit in bed & read blogs about other people exercising.

Sometimes going “all or nothing” works, and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m at a point right now where all or nothing is not really sticking with me, so I’m breaking the mentality of what is “enough” and going with what feels best. Sure, the 2 mile run and 20 minute elliptical may not be the greatest sweat session that my old 8 mile runs would bring on, but I know that by getting myself back into my routine, I will be back to my “no less than 3” mentality sooner than I probably think.

When I am there getting my ½ hour workout in, someone else is out there eating a bag of Fritos. And I hate them, because I want some Fritos damnit, but I want to feel like my awesome self even more. And I want beer. Beer trumps Fritos every time…unless I’ve had too many beers.

I want to take a minute to thank The Anti-Jared again for his beautiful post yesterday. It was extremely nice of him to write such sweet words about me. Glad to call him a friend!! And and enourmous thank you to all of YOU for your never ending love and support. XOXO

Dear @k8thulu …

2012-01-10T18:28:00.005-05:00

(Dear everyone else first, to understand this blog post here’s a little background for you…Earlier this afternoon I tweeted the following which lead to the following response from someone who was following me:

That then led her to post this on her blog which can be read by clicking here. (*Please Note: Her blog post has since been edited*)

Now, I feel it is only fair to express *my* opinion as well. I am not angry with her…every one is entitled to their own opinion. So this is mine….I normally don’t respond to anything like this, but when you attack something I feel so strongly about I feel I have a right to respond…)

Kate, no need to be sorry for your snarky remark. I would say that I am sorry for the increase in WW posts but that would be a lie. Considering I am IN the new WW #Believe campaign, it would only make sense that I would promote it proudly. It is, other than my weight loss, the proudest thing I have done to date. I will be screaming it to the high heavens for as long as I can and as I said last week on Twitter, if no one likes it then too bad. Unfollow, as you did, because it is as simple as that. Because I will always stand up for what I believe in.

Congratulations to your mother for losing 101 lbs. Having lost that same amount myself I know that it is no small feat. I’m sure that the years she spent leading WW meetings were quite impactful on the members that came through that door. However, I will not comment on her position within the WW corporation since I do not know the reasons why they made her stop leading and took her meetings away. It is unfortunate that she had to lose a long time leader & friend…that happened to me last year and it can be a very difficult transition.

I did WW for the first time ever back in 2005…I lost 55 lbs.

Then I gained it all back, PLUS another 50.

Was that WW’s fault?? NO. Did WW make me stop going to meetings?? NO. Did WW put fatty burgers, fries & beer down my throat every night?? NO

So who’s fault was it….IT WAS MINE!!

Now I’m not saying that it’s your mother’s fault as to why she has gained weight and is no longer at goal. You spoke of medical issues dealing with a bad knee and shoulder, all of which can definitely hinder weight loss and/or maintenance. But none of that is WW fault. Obviously your mother knows the program works and *believes* it works because she continues to go each week. When I strayed a little from goal weight I have felt the same as she has…failure. But I can’t blame that on WW. I blame that on myself and the things that I am not doing that I know I *should* be doing. In my eyes the only one calling your mom a failure was herself (according to you) and well, you. She sounds like a fighter who isn’t giving up….that’s not failure. It may *feel* like it because she’s not seeing the results she wants, but that’s not failure.

When we did this Believe campaign we were not telling the public “Believe you can lose weight or you suck if you don’t.” we are telling you to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If you mom believes she can, just like you say she does, then she WILL do it!! Never give up, never back down, never stop fighting…BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

You don’t have to care about Jennifer Hudson. She wasn’t what started me on my journey. But I respect a woman who chooses to make a healthier life not only for herself but for her son and the rest of her family as well. After meeting and working with her I have a lot more respect for her.

She was happy in her old body, yes….You know (here comes the dead daddy card…) what….

My father was happy being over 350 lbs and didn’t care one fucking bit about losing weight and guess where that got him?? Dead of a heart attack at the age of 34, leaving his 10 year old daughter behind. Maybe if programs like WW did these kind of campaigns (especially the ones with Charles Barkley) 18 years ago my father would have changed his tune a bit. Maybe. But I don’t believe he was a failure. That was his choice.

My mother has gone back and forth to WW more times than I know. Successful each and every time. It hasn’t always “worked” for her obviously, but again, that’s not WW fault. Funny because, since these new campaigns started she’s thinking about going back…Hmmmmm. Is she going to be a failure if it doesn’t work long term again this time Kate?

Sure, Weight Watchers doesn’t work for everyone. No plan works for everyone. But some people Kate, want to believe that this will work for them, and that doesn’t make them idiots or future failures.

I do not need to set a better example. I couldn’t be more fucking proud of the example I set for everyone online or in my real life. I AM A LIFETIME WEIGHT WATCHER MEMBER. I BELIEVE IN THE WEIGHT WATCHERS PROGRAM. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

You don’t have to believe in me or believe in Weight Watchers Kate, you can just flip the page when you see my ad or press the fast forward button when my commercial’s comes on.
xoxo-Suzi

Just a moment…

2011-12-30T18:36:00.001-05:00

I’m not going to lie….I’ve been living in this “new” body of mine for over a year. The thoughts of the “old” me don’t really arise very often. I mean don’t get me wrong, I remember everything bout how I looked and felt as the old me. I do have pictures here on this blog which I check ~~every day~~ every week.

But 95% of the time, I try to spend my time focusing on the present, fabulous me. Because who want’s to dwell in the past right??

But sometimes I have just a moment…

A moment where I see my former self…A moment where my mind flashes with all the tears, the yelling, the pounding, the hate…I remember vividly how I felt back then.

And then I think about where I am today.

And all of a sudden my heart begins to flutter and my eyes swell with tears.

I never, NEVER imagined I would be where I am today.

When I first walked (back) into a Weight Watchers meeting, I never thought I would even hit my goal weight, let alone become a face in their commercials and campaigns.

I never thought I would be able to sit here and say “I did it!!” I’ve maintained my weight for over a year!! Sure, the holidays did a little damage, but its nothing that I’m not working hard at fixing. This time, unlike so many times BEFORE WW, I am AWARE and I choosing to IMPROVE, not DAMAGE.

I never thought I would be able to sit here and say, “I am a Lifetime Weight Watcher member and a Weight Watcher Success Story”!!

But I can…because I never gave up on myself…I never stopped believing in myself or my goals. Sure, I doubted them sometimes, but I never quit.

Sometimes I think to myself “holy F*ng Sh*t Ball F*ck!!!!”

When I heard that the theme was ‘Believe” I started to tear up (as did a lot of us who are in the ad) because it hit me like a ton of bricks…BELIEVE…it’s all you have to do!!

If you Believe in yourself, you can do anything.

Everyone always asks me…”how did you do it?” “what was the thing that got you going?”

I don’t have an answer for any of that…all I can say is that I walked into that meeting and I BELIEVED that I wanted to be there and I BELIEVED that I wanted to CHANGE my life…so I did…and so here I sit…

In part of the commercial we say “I am you, and you are me…”

I can’t think of a more honest line.

I am no better than any of you, and you are no better than me. We are one. One amazing group of individuals wanting, willing and BELIEVING in changing our lives. Together we can, and we WILL do this.

We will make 2012 an amazing year…we will continue to grow and better ourselves. Why??

Because we BELIEVE!!

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to ABC between 10-11pm EST to watch Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin’ Eve to catch the new Weight Watcher commercial. Feel free to raise your glasses (or beer bottles) and have a toast with me!!

Every one, please, have a very safe and VERY HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!

Let’s ROCK 2012!!!!

Believe

2011-12-27T19:28:00.001-05:00

So you see, I had this pretty ~~lame~~ witty idea for a blog post to kind of announce finally what I did in LA.

First I would tell you to go visit this link: Mysterious Link #1

Then I would tell you to go see this link as well: Mysterious Link #2

Also I would alert you to pick up the newest issue of Weight Watchers magazine with Jennifer Hudson on the cover. As well the January 9th issues of In Touch, Us Weekly and Life & Style.

I would warn you to keep an eye out for this in your local Weight Watchers store:

And last but not least, I would tell you to tune in on New Years Eve to watch Dick Clarks Rockin’ New Years Eve show from 10-11, because that is when the commercial is airing.

But you see, Weight Watchers kind of killed my clever blog post by releasing this (when you click the link, look for the ‘Group Believe’…also a small glance of me during my photo shoot in Jennifer’s Behind The Scenes video) ….

Believe

Once the commercial actually airs, I will do a more in depth post.

There will be more to witness from all of this too, but I don’t even really know what that will be myself so I guess I will be surprised along with the rest of you!!

I believe that my 2012 is getting off to an *AMAZING* start!!

2011

2011-12-26T18:10:00.008-05:00

Here it is…the “2011 summed up” post…blah blah blah.

In 2010 I blogged about all the stuff I wanted to achieve in 2011.

Little did I know that I would achieve all of that and then some.
This year I managed to maintain my weight…probably the thing I should be the most proud of. Of course, there were (are) some ups and downs. I had (have) my moments of defeat and moments of success. The important part is that I’ve stayed aware of my well being, and I have continued to go to my Weight Watcher meetings.

But 2011 also brought many, MANY surprises. It was without a doubt one of the best years of my life.

I got to go to NYC and not only do a photo shoot for a Weight Watcher success story, but I also got to meet some good friends in NYC.

While doing my leader training for Weight Watchers, I got to attend their BLS training in Boston and meet some of the best people I have ever know.

I was selected to be one of Oprah’s 100 people who’ve lost 100 or more in her finale weight loss show.
I ran my very first marathon.

Then I went to LA….

LA is, without a doubt, the work I am most proud of. I never gave up on the dream that this could happen. I knew it, deep down inside, that this is what I was meant to do. Inspire others. Make others *Believe* in themselves.

I also met some amazing people in LA…many of which are a daily part of my life today. I have a whole new family, and that has been the best gift of all.

After my marathon in October, I was starting to get down on myself. 2011 was so great…was 2012 going to be a huge downer?? I mean, SERIOUSLY…how is 2012 going to out do 2011?!?!
2012 may not out do 2011. But something tells me that it is going to be a FANTASTIC year!! I will and I can make it one!!

In 2012 I hope to…

Maintain my weight…keep going to my WW meetings and keep being aware of what I am putting into my body
Continue my career with WW. I took a pause earlier this year, but I am back & trained & ready to inspire!!
I want to race less…I know this seems like a weird “goal” but last year just felt so pushed. I want to find races I love or do something on the spur the moment. I’m over training, planning, down-to-the-T running. I’m going to run when I want to run & I’m going to love it, damnit!

I really got nothing else because I mean seriously…how can I top all that?!?!

…but something tells me there is a Storm a brewing….a good storm…a SUZI STORM!!

And don’t worry…my next post will have the clues to what all this LA business is about. Some of you may know already, or have guessed, but the cat (or lion as some have said) will be let out of the bag soon enough.

Last but not least, I have to say thank you to you ALL. Thank you for your support, your comments, your encouragement, your love...without that, I wouldn't be where I am today. I brought each and every one of you along with me on these amazing rides. I can't wait to bond further & meet new, amazing people in the year(s) ahead. XOXO
*CHEERS* to an amazing year, and to another great year ahead!!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T12:17:00.001-05:00

I just want to take a moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful safe & happy holiday!!

Remember to be merry & share this magical time with loved ones…eat without (too) much guilt…and throw back a few cold ones ;)

My Christmas present to all of you is that I will finally be revealing what I did in LA…..

very, very soon. ;D

xoxo

'Tis the Season

2011-12-19T11:42:00.000-05:00

It’s been a little bit since I’ve blogged. It feels like every time I would sit down these past couple of weeks to write, nothing came out. Idea’s would come and go but nothing ever stayed with me long enough to get it down. I’ve always gone by the rule that if I don’t feel passionate about what I am posting, then I’d rather post nothing. I’m not an “every day” blogger because I don’t have the time to do that (nor am I that creative). I work 2 jobs and have a family, a house and myself to take care of.

As I think about that last sentence, I realize all of it is true & is what has kept me from blogging the past 2 weeks…except for one part…taking care of myself.

I have not been taking care of myself. At all. Not one bit.

I’ve said “yes” to the cookies. I’ve said “give me all your cheese & chips & dips”. I’ve said “Ok, just one more beer” about 12 times a night.

I’ve said “I’ll work out tomorrow”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will track”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will make better choices”.

Well the tomorrow’s have come and gone and here I am…Still treating myself like I have committed a crime.

The 7 lb gain on the scale is not what scares me. Fuck, that didn’t even jump start me into getting back on track. That just made me head to Wendy’s for a W burger & grab some more beer.

It’s the clothes that don’t fit right, the look on my face, the way I carry myself, the things I think about myself, that scares me.

The weight will come off. That doesn’t worry me. What worries me is the pattern I’ve slipped into and how hard I’m finding it to save myself from drowning in it.

But then I tell myself…’Tis the Season!! In a way, I feel like that’s an excuse, but you know what…it’s kind of a legit one. Temptation is all around, and unlike last year, I’ve given in WAY more…but it happens. My Activity Points earned on a weekly basis have been 0…but it happens.

This weather is depressing. We barely see any sunshine. I go into work in the dark. I get out of work in the dark. Depressing!!

The thing is, I know that you can survive the holiday season without all this negativity and weight gain. I’ve done it in the past!! Last year, on December 23rd I made Lifetime with Weight Watchers!! It *CAN* be done. I guess this year…I just jumped ship.

One would think that I would be on top of my game right now. In just a few short days everything that I worked SO hard for and one of the proudest moments in my life will be revealed. I would want to look my best and feel my best right??

Right.

But I do not.

So I can do one of two things. I can stop this pity party, smack myself in the face & get back to treating myself, my mind and my body, like it deserves to be treated. I know that by doing this that it will lead me back to happiness. Or I could just stay on this train and head into a major wreck.

I am choosing to be happy. I am letting go of all the negativity. I am letting go of all the bad choices. I am letting go of all the regrets.

I am moving forward. I am making a pledge to be more mindful of my choices. I am tracking. I am moving my body. I am forgiving.

Sometimes we don’t have “perfect” days, weeks or even months. In my case, it’s felt like a few months. It’s realizing the issues and being able to forgive yourself and move on that reminds us how we really do love ourselves & want the best health we can give ourselves. No amount of holiday treats can take that away from us.

Do not ever give up on yourself.

To be Thankful…

2011-11-22T17:58:00.001-05:00

A lot of people have been doing this great #thanksaday post either on their blogs, Twitter or Facebook. I’ve really been moved by these. I would have participated myself, but you all know how much I hate numbers and counting.

Thanksgiving means so much to so many in very different ways. To me personally, I have never been a *huge* Thanksgiving person. I mean, I love me some gobble gobble and I am my fathers daughter when I say that I can eat a bag of potatoes by myself on this holiday…and about 6 jars of gravy…but of course, I bring my own Fat Free gray cause that’s how you rock it WW style!!

Here are a just a few simple tips & tricks I try to follow on Turkey Day that help me to enjoy & indulge, but not feel overwhelmed:

Remember that Thanksgiving is ONE day…not a long weekend. The bites stop there. Don’t turn any indulgence on Thanksgiving day into indulgences the next day and the day after and before you know it, it’s Christmas. It’s ONE day…ONE meal.
Bring a dish!! Make something that you know will be a “safe” dish for you and that others will love. This may mean that you have to research it and guess what, that’s time that’s kept you busy and away from the kitchen :)
Some staples you can bring a lighter version of, like gravy!! I am a gravy freak!! I pour it all over my plate. So therefore I bring my own jar of Fat Free gravy in a microwave safe container which I heat up before it’s time to eat. My inlaws do not consider this rude as they understand why. Be proud of all the hard work you have put into looking fabulous!! Bring a lighter gravy, butter, biscuits…any little thing you can that will help.
Make AT LEAST 1/2 of your plate veggies if possible…squash is so in season right now. Better yet, if you are worried about there not being enough veggies where you are going, make that the “safe” dish that you bring!!
Exercise before hand!! I know this is difficult if you are the one preparing dinner, but if you can get out, even for 20 minutes, a quick workout before heading into the festivities can make ALL the difference. I never have much time before going to my boyfriends family’s house, but I always make sure to get in at least a 3 mile run before we go.
If you *want* pie…FUCKING HAVE PIE!!!! Seriously…have a slice of pie. Don’t have 8 slices, but have one. Because you know that at 11:00 that night you are going to regret not having it and god only knows what you will have.
Forgive yourself. So you went and got that 3rd plate….So you said yes to the 2nd slice of pie….So you ate the entire basket of croissant rolls…FORGIVE yourself!! Like I said earlier, it’s one day. Tomorrow is a new day with new choices. We don’t always make the best choices, and we don’t always try our hardest. It happens. Accept it, forgive it and MOVE ON!!

Don’t fret over Thanksgiving. Try to not go overboard, but enjoy!! If you are a Weight Watcher, you can be the “lazy” Weight Watcher a little bit on this day. The WW police are not going to show up. As long as you pick yourself up the next day and move forward in a healthy path, you are A-OK!! Just don’t break out the size smaller jeans the next day cause, well, you are just setting yourself up for disaster.

Here are some thing I am truly Thankful for:

A healthy and happy relationship that is full of love
A handsome & healthy 13 year old boy in my life (Franks son) who makes me say “Where’s your damn coat!?” and makes me feel crazy for saying such things
My health and the ability to run
My family (only some of them (the drunk ones) pictured here

5. This little darling coming into our lives this year (as well my two other wonderful cats Phantom & Amelia Bedelia). Baby ‘Storm’ 6. Weight Watchers for giving me the tools, strength & belief that I could be this woman

7. And of course….thanks to beer

8. All of the amazing opportunities I have had this year, and well, the one coming up just might be the one I am proudest of to yet. I really can’t wait to share it will all of you.

9. And last, but certainly not least….I am thankful for all of YOU!!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

The right fit?

2011-11-21T17:33:00.015-05:00

We all knew that it would happen someday again…that day when Weight Watchers gets another celebrity endorsement. It was bound to happen and really, can you blame them??

How many people have Jennifer Hudson inspired since she became the face for WW?? How many people have joined *just* because they saw HER story?? I know a couple of people personally who were inspired to start their own journey’s because of her.

Sometimes a celebrity endorsement can really help. Sometimes I think it can hurt. But in my honest opinion I think Weight Watchers does a really good job on marketing their “celebrity”. Let’s be honest, they don’t mass produce celebrity endorsements like some weight loss companies out there. And a lot of the celebrities (Jennifer Hudson, Tina Fey, Jenny McCarthy, Ginnifer Goodwin and many more) who have done the WW program tend to keep their weight off which I think is just another reason why them having celebrity endorsement's doesn’t bother me too much, because I actually believe these celebrities and the journey’s they have taken to lead a healthier life for themselves.

Oh yeah, and I’m living proof that it does work even on the non-famous, so that helps too. :)

So rumor has it that Jessica Simpson is slated to be the newest face of Weight Watchers (though this has not been officially confirmed as of yet). She is pregnant right now but after she gives birth she wants to use the WW program to get the baby weight off and get her body back.

Actually, Jessica Simpson doesn’t bother me too much. Some may call her a ditz, others just call her a really smart ditz. I think she has a fun energy about her. She’s done work in various fields and does a lot of great charity work. She wouldn’t go on my top 10 actress list or anything, but I think she’s alright.

She has always had weight & body issues but has never shied away from them or embracing her curves which I find very admirable. Her self confidence is something that I think is really great and would be great for WW. She also has a huge southern fan base, especially amongst young girls so I think the outreach to them would be wonderful not only for the program but for women of the south as well who need a positive, healthy role model (sorry Paula Deen).

However, here is the thing with her…we all know she can lose weight. We have seen her lose weight many, many times throughout her career. Her problem always seems to be keeping the weight off. So is Weight Watchers the final answer to her yo-yoing ways?? I think it could be, of course!! If we can see her lose weight on this program and actually *keep* it off, well then I think that scores another point in the Celebrity Endorsement success ring for Weight Watchers.

I still believe that Weight Watchers picks their celebrity endorsements wisely & don’t just use them to show off their program. Sure, you might not connect with each one, but I'm sure that there are a lot of people who will connect with her, just like have with Jennifer Hudson and the ones before her. Let’s also not forget that they still use us real people right along side these famous people!!

California Dreamin’

2011-11-20T15:32:00.001-05:00

So this post is long over due, but hey! I’ve been busy ~~going out and drinking~~ catching up with work & things around the house.

As many of you know, I went to California for a week recently to shoot a commercial and as campaign. What is that commercial and campaign for?? Well, you will just have to keep reading my blog for a few more weeks to find out (I swear, this isnt a desperate attempt to keep you all around, but hey, if its working I just might be onto something).

I can’t even begin to describe how much I *LOVED* California. I did not expect to fall in love with that place, but I did, hard. I even told Frankie that if it wasn’t for him and the cats, I would have stayed there. Seriously. It was like a perfect mix of busy but calm. Everything was beautiful, even when it wasn’t…does that make sense?? It wasn’t as busy as NYC, but it wasn’t the boring suburbs either. Not a day has gone by yet where I haven’t thought about that place & the time spent there.

Another amazing thing about California?? The super awesome people I got to meet. These people are some of the most amazing people I have ever met. We bonded in a very strong way. I love them to pieces and they have become like a family. I miss them every.single.day.

SO, since I can’t go into what exactly the “work” is that I did in LA, I can talk about how I spent my free time with my peeps. I figured its easiest to do that in photos, with some commentary as we go along. This is mostly in order, but a few photos may jump around…So go grab yourself beer, sit back and Enjoy!!

This was the view from my windows on the plane…flying first class, or as I like to call it, free alcohol class. I have never seen mountains….I was in awe.

PALM TREES!!!!!! This picture and the one below are the views from the balacony of my hotel room. Yes, I had a balcony and yes, it fucking rocked!!

This is Fox Studios. It was directly behind out hotel. Very cool!!

Most of the photo’s you are about to see were taken on top of a double decker bus. We decided on our day off to pay $35 for an all excess bus tour and it was AWESOME!!!! Seriously, the best $25 EVER spent. You could get off at different stops and hang out for a while. Busses ran the route every 20 minutes. We got to see SO much of LA thanks to this amazing tour. If you ever get to go to LA, do the Starline Sightseeing tour!!

Girls just want to have fun!!!! (while we freeze our asses off on top of that bus)

Beverly Hills Hotel, where the first Oscars were held. Audrey Hepburn was here before *swoon*.

Can somebody say Police Academy?!

SANTA MONICA PIER BABY!!!!!! I was finally able to see the ocean. I had to hold back tears, seriously…

My feet in California sand. The most amazing feeling in the world!!

Fun fact…the Palm Trees that you see here are the only kind of Palm Tree that are indigenous to California. Every other Palm Tree has been imported. This is the same street that many openings of movies and TV shows have been shot. Can you say “Hello 90210?!”

Rodeo Dr. Yeah….it’s pretty much where I do all my shopping now.

Flynt Publications, as in Larry Flynt, as in Hustler magazine.

Renee is ready for some Pinks Hot Dogs!!!! As are the rest of us, which we might regret later. We ended up eating at Hot Dog On A Stick earlier at the beach, then this….oof. But it was delicious!! I got the Ozzy dog, of course.

Waiting for the bus to pick us up after Pinks…seemed like it took FOREVER. This photo has always been and always will be titled ‘LA Rocks!’.

Kick ass poster for ‘American Horror Story’, the most badass show on television lately.

Weird to think that Marilyn Monroe’s hand was a bit bigger than mine, especially since her feet were SO damn tiny.

Ahhh, one of my favorite photos….Me and my husband, Robert Downey Jr holding hands. XOXO

It’s hard to see because it was dark out at this point but that’s the Viper room!!

Waiting for the last bus, poor Renee was freezing so Jennifer snuggled with her. We we’re about to board a bus driven by Vladamir…the craziest tour bus driver to exist.

Another few from the hotel…we could see the Hollywood sign!! (Right Jenn )

I bought myself a special present while in LA to give myself an anchor to remember the amazing time I had.

OK…so, here’s the thing. What do you do when it’s like 9:00 at night and you know you have stuff to do the next day so you can’t go too crazy, but you’re too riled up to just go to bed…well than you come to Suzi’s room to have a beer and play truth or dare!! This is sweet Lindsey and we dared her boyfriend Patrick to put my red lipstick on her face with whatever hand he doesn’t use to write with. Even with that mess on her face she is still an adorable little hottie!!

This is Jennifer. Oh, how I love Jennifer. She got the most “dares” out of anybody in that room. This was a retelling of the old Molly Ringwald classic. She pulled it off like a champ too!!

And if anyone is wondering, the Four Seasons accommodates to Transgendered guests. We made a phone confirmation of that, LOL!! Oh man, good times, good times.We saw an amazing photo exhbit here at the Annenburg, for free!! It was a great way to kill some time & see some pop culture.

Some of the crew!! You have Emily, Yours truly, Renee, Brian (B-Dog), and Jenn. This was outside at our hotel. It was really gorgeous. This was right after our trip to Pink Taco!! (hee hee hee)

Man…look at all those people drinking beer. I don’t believe I had *ANYTHING* to do with that.

FYI…I’m wearing Chanel in this picture…bet you can’t guess where!!

Well, I think that’s pretty much it!! Well, at least what I can share anyways . I could not feel more blessed than to have had this experience and to be able to share it with such amazing people. I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am. California will forever hold a very special place in my heart.

My 1 year WW Goal-A-Versary!!

2011-11-11T10:39:00.000-05:00

Happy 11-11-11 everybody!! It’s especially happy for me since it marks the celebration of my 1 year at goal weight with Weight Watchers!!

On 11-11-2010 I hit my goal weight, after 2 years on program (took me about a year & a ½ to lose the weight…I took a little time off in the beginning of 2009). To date, I have lost 101 lbs on the Weight Watchers program.

It doesn’t feel like it’s been a year. It feels like just yesterday my stomach was in knots about going to my meeting in anticipation that tonight could be the night…the night I finally hit goal!! It feels like I just stood on the scale, looked at my leader, saw her smile and fell to my knees sobbing because I knew what I had just accomplished.

But all of that did not happen yesterday, it happened a year ago today.

That’s the truly amazing part. Maintenance is hard work, but it’s not nearly as hard as we think it will be. I believe that there are certain times though where it can be harder than losing weight honestly, but there is a sense of calm when you ARE at your goal weight that makes it less stressful. Maybe because you can say to yourself "I am here now, do I really want to go back?"

OK folks, here comes the cliché tag line….This is lifestyle, not a diet!! That is why I can’t believe it’s been ONE FREAKING YEAR!! It’s been just one year of me living my healthy life day in and day out…not one of year full of “omgImusteatthisIhavetoworkoutIcanthavethatwhathaveIdoneIwanttoeatthisandthatandthatandthis”.
Sure, not every day of the past year has been a breeze and they sure the hell were not filled with all the right choices. Remember, nobody is ever perfect. Life is not perfect, so you can’t expect to be either. You fall, YOU GET BACK UP!!

Now I am extremely proud to say that since hitting my goal weight I have managed to never weigh-in more than 2 lbs over my goal weight!! Actually, the most I’ve ever gone is 1 lb over. I normally chill a little below or right at goal weight. Last night at my meeting I was down .6 which puts me right back at goal and I feel GREAT!!

Actually last night I received my 2nd Lifetime Award Key.

Now, many of you asked me “what the hell is a 2nd Lifetime Award key?!” If you look in the back of your Lifetime Pocket Guidebook you will see all about this. As a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers you are required to weigh in at least once a month. If you do so 10 out of the 12 months in a year, you receive ANOTHER Lifetime key. Now some say “well if it’s required wouldn’t you get it anyways?!” Not necessarily. You’d be amazed how many Lifetime members don’t weigh in some months or sadly, stop going to their meetings. I think these additional keys are a great anchor to show the commitment we have not only to the Weight Watchers program, but to ourselves!! With the new pocket guides, it is a little harder for the leaders and receptionists to track these, but it IS part of the program so don’t be afraid to bring it up at your next meeting. You earned your anchor, go get it!!

Without sounding too vain or conceded, I like to think that I am living proof that it CAN be done!! You CAN lose the weight and you CAN keep it off!! Yes, there will be bumps and there will be halts but in the end it is all worth it!! Anytime I feel like I’ve gotten off track, I think back to where I was 3 years ago….252 lbs, depressed, hating myself, hating everything…I don’t ever want to be there again, and that is why I am able to celebrate my 1 year goal-weight anniversary today!!

Also, I have all of you to thank very, very much. Many of you have been with me since the beginning, a few of you even before then. Your constant support, encouragement and love is what makes this all seem so easy most days. It is what keeps me moving and maintaining.

Never give up on yourself. Never believe that you are not worth it. Never stop fighting for yourself. Believe in your mind. Believe in your body. Believe in your health. Believe in yourself!!

(After photo from weightwatchers.com via my online success story)

Just One Day

2011-11-09T18:05:00.001-05:00

So I’d like to think that I am not alone in the “only taking care of myself half-assed
lately” department. I don’t know why I’ve been like this. Sure, I can say the marathon,
work/home stress, the trip to LA, the weather all lead to my half-assing …but I know that
they are all excuses in one way or the other. Whether they are legitimate or not is not the
question. The question is, how have I felt during this time??

The answer…not that great. Not extremely awful, but not extremely good (which is how
I like to feel about 98% of the time these days!!).

Truth is, even going out to California I was pissed at myself. Here I was, doing the
commercial of a lifetime, my DREAM commercial and I didn’t feel 100% awesome. Yes,
I still felt great, but not as great as I COULD have felt if I was taking care of myself the
way I wanted to.

Sure, I’m at goal weight, but I’m also a few lbs heavier since the marathon. Sure, not all
my meals have been “on program” but they haven’t been ALL bad. Sure, my tracking
isn’t every day, but some is better than none!!

Sure, sure, sure!! Well guess what?? I don’t like sure, sure, sure…I like YEAH! YEAH
YEAH! (the band is pretty cool too ;)

After a weekend of heavy drinking (buttery nipple shots anyone??) and really crappy
eating, I told myself Sunday night that enough was enough. It was time to get back on
track and start doing the things I really love to do…eating well, tracking, exercise and
most importantly taking care of myself overall.

So it took just a day…just a single day of being on program, counting my points, tracking
my food, saying no to beer, getting up early to get ready and look presentable for
work…just a single day to make me feel AWESOME again!!

Today marks day 3 of staying within my points (actually trying to consume a few less to
get these couple of extra lbs off) and tracking all my food. I feel AMAZING!! Physically
I feel better and mentally I feel better.

It’s also day 3 of the #nobeertillFriday challenge that my girl *BitchCakes* started & I
decided to accompany her on. I was already making my own pledge since my daily beer
habit was getting a little out of hand again, so I figured the extra support would be great!!
A lot of people have tagged along with us too and that is great!! (of course, the “beer”
can be anything you think you need to cleanse yourself from for a few days)

Try to remember this…no matter how “BAD” you’ve been…no matter how much you’ve
been slacking off….no matter how many workouts you’ve missed…give yourself just
ONE day of being on program with your health and it can make a world of difference in
your week, in your months, in your years. Sometimes all it takes is just one day.

One day at a time.

Confessions from the couch

2011-11-03T13:55:00.000-04:00

You know, one of the very first things I packed in my suitcase for LA was my running shoes & workout clothes. You know how many times I used them while I was there…ZERO.

I seem to have slipped off the exercise wagon. I haven’t ran or worked out of any kind (minus some house cleaning and the tons of walking we did in LA) since the Saturday after my marathon.

At first I wasn’t working out because of my foot and a little injury acquired from the marathon. But now that injury seems to be cleared right up, yet….I’m still not running.

My gym membership is no longer active, yet I have a treadmill and an elliptical machine right in my damn bedroom, however…They are not being turned on.

I know this is just a phase. A phase that is completely normal and can come and go. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the past 3+ years as a Weight Watcher member, it is that I have to be careful to not turn phases into habits.

A lot of people have been asking me what my race schedule looks like for 2012 and honestly, it looks empty and I plan to keep it that way for right now. BUT that’s not because I’m choosing to be a lazy couch potato again though. I had kind of fallen out of love with running and I felt like I was just running for all these races and not for myself. I want to get back to running for ME and only ME!!

So that is what I plan to do. Take small steps again and get back on the road and/or treadmill. Take the small steps to get my body moving again because I do not like how my body feels…sluggish, tired, weak. It’s amazing what just a couple of weeks off will do to you and your body. Also, I have to train myself mentally to get back into the routine and as many of you know, thats the hardest part. So feel free to yell at me and call me names to help push my ass off the couch.

So there’s my confession…I haven’t been exercising the past few weeks. I’m no priest (though I’m pretty sure I’m close to sainthood) but all I need is to get a run in this weekend to be saved.

**I just want to thank everyone again for all the nice comments, retweets, re-posts, likes and everything else about my online success story with Weight Watchers. It means SO much to me!! I feel so honored to have done that and I am SO proud of it. Also, I plan to do a little re-cap from my trip to California (of course, I have to leave out details about the commercial and what exactly I was doing out there for right now). At this moment I'm just trying to get adjusted back to East Coast time and getting everything back on track since I'm physically and mentally a little off whack.**

Greetings from LA!!

2011-10-28T18:48:00.001-04:00

Hey everybody!! Sorry for the lack of posting and updates, but as many of you already know, I’m in Los Angeles working on a little ol’ television commercial and such. I am having the time of my life. The city is awesome and the people I am with who are also part of this amazing experience are beyond incredible!!

I have no free wifi here at the hotel so its hard for me to update and check in, but I wanted to let you who may not already know that I am featured this week on the Weight Watchers site as a success story!! This is from my trip to NYC in February.

You can check out the story here!! I am SO honored to be featured. There really are no words to express what all of this means to me.

I hope you all enjoy it and find it inspiring!! I miss all of you guys and I promise to do a full recap when I return. Until then, I have to get back to the sun, 80 degrees, pool and beer :) (oh yeah, and the work we were sent out here for)

xoxo

Where you came from…

2011-10-15T14:03:00.001-04:00

I often think about the person I am now…

And the person I was then…

Or lets go way back and say even here…

I was about 14-15 years old there. I wish I had another picture to share, but you see, the Princess of Dark (that’s me, not the cat) didn’t allow her photograph to be taken much. Living life on the dark side was oh so rough. Woe was me.

I was a miserable Cee You Next Tuesday as an adolescent. Depression was my mood of choice, no matter how hard I tried to dig myself out of it. My first (of many) suicide attempt happened in the 6th grade. Not a day goes by where I am not thankful that I was never successful in my foolish & stupid attempts. Life is too awesome my friends.

But I spent my entire pre-teen/teen life being miserable and depressed. My hair was different colors & my wardrobe consisted of black, off black and shiny black. My music of choice was anything dark and heavy and my bedroom would have put The Adams family’s entire house to shame. Some call of it “goth”, some call it being a “freak”, some call it being “insane”….I called it being me.

As I got older I found ways out of my depression. Through medical help at first and then deep, dark self inflicting ass kicking. Even with low serotonin chemicals in my brain, I was able to dig myself out of the gutter without needing medications any more. That goes down as one of my biggest accomplishments in life.

So I got happier, but the cloths & music stayed the same. I didn’t just dress in black and listen to Type O Negative because I was depressed. These days I’m a ball of sunshine 98% of the time (don’t ask Frankie to confirm this please) but I still love me some Megadeth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…So what's the point here??

People change….people grow….people move forward. Sometimes on weight loss journeys (big or small) you tend to feel a little lost at times. You start to wonder if you are the same person you once were. That answer is yes and no.

If you had asked me when I was 13 if I would ever run a marathon, I would have spit on you.

If you had asked me when I was 14 if I wanted to borrow your pink shawl, I would have slapped you across the face.

If you had asked me when I was 15 if we could take a picture together, I would have taken that camera out of your hand, threw it down on the ground & stomped on it until it was in pieces.

But TODAY….I love taking pictures of myself!! I run races!! I wear pink!! I LOVE BEING ME!! I love telling people my story and trying to inspire others…I actually live for that. I love being loud & outspoken. I love waking up and living life. I love smiling!! I love being so upbeat and positive sometimes that it pisses people off. ;)

I lost 101 pounds…I didn’t lose myself. I lost the desire to be sad all of the time. I lost the yearning to be somebody other than myself. I lost the fear of showing the world who I really am and gained the confidence.

I’m a big ball of awesome now who happens to have a love for tattoos and black hair dye as well a love for upbeat pop music and laying in the sun. When I’m in the sea of runners waiting to cross the start line at the race, that’s when I feel the most badass…because I look around me and there are very few other runners who have similar physical traits, and it kind of reminds me of how I’ve become a pretty interesting and amazing person.

Don’t ever let others try to convince you that you are not *you* anymore. You are evolving into something more powerful and that is something that they can not handle. Some people never change. Some people stay stuck in one place and refuse to grow and evolve…that sucks for them. But hopefully you want better for yourself.

Keep working on being your very own special version of badass!!

**Note: If you are suffering from severe depression and/or experiencing suicidal thoughts, I beg of you to seek professional help. Some of the hero’s in my life are the professionals who helped me as a young adult. Don’t ever feel too proud or too scared to ask for help. We all need a little help now and then. Admitting it and getting help for it is one of the most badass things you can do!!

More Marathon Tidbits & the giveaway winner!!

2011-10-10T19:07:00.007-04:00

Thank you SO much to everyone for all of your cheers and congrats on my very first marathon!! I’m still on a high from it.
I feel like there are some things I left out…and I really cant think of everything I’ve missed at once (I’ve had a couple of beers). But here are some random thoughts since:

“Suzi, when is your next marathon”….um, right now?? No time soon. I’m not saying never. I’m not even going to say that I haven’t been bitten by the “bug”…but I need to get back to why I love to run in the first place. I was lucky enough to have such an amazing experience…I don’t want to mess with that anytime soon.
“Suzi, how do you feel now?? You must be hurting after not doing this “properly”….first off, enough with saying "properly"!! What is PROPER?? OK, so I didn’t follow a “training plan” but its not like I stopped running all together!! I’m sorry…did those two half marathons I did over the spring/summer happen in my head?? Did the 3-5 times a week I went out and ran 3-10 miles (depending) happen in my head?? No, they did not. Sure, I don’t ADVISE going from 13.1 to 26.2 for MOST…but it worked and I knew it would work. For me, it was the right thing THIS time around. And for how I feel…I feel pretty great. Minus some pain on the top of my right foot. I actually ran 3 miles this past Saturday (less than a week since the marathon!) which probably wasn’t a great idea. Needless to say I am resting now and taking care of the foot to hopefully prevent any big issue.
That last 1/2 mile….I BOOKED it!! I looked down at my Garmin at one point and I was running back at a 7:50 pace. I FINISHED STRONG!!!! I couldn’t believe my legs had life in them to move that fast again. It felt AMAZING.
“How did you NOT hit a wall?!”…I still don’t know the answer to this one. This is my one greatest achievement. You can’t predict “the wall”…the first time I ever really hit one was at the Buffalo Half Marathon. But…it never really happened here. Anytime my mind started to get the best of me I would just shake them away and think about that finish line…think about that medal…think about that goal that I told myself I would accomplish.

My official marathon photos can be viewed here...the first few (minus the very first photo...thats not me) and the last few are towards the end of the race...the ones with me & my PBJ are around the middle (the tougher part LOL).

BUT…enough about that….now onto the CEP Compression Shorts giveaway!! Thank you to all who entered. I really wish I could give a pair to each of you who entered. But the lucky winner is…..

allofmywords.com said...I "liked" CEP Compression on Facebook because they are awesome and obviously make your ass look amazing - more on that in a moment...
Congratulations!!!!! Please email me your email address so I can forward it to the appropriate people.

To my readers who have ran a marathon…do you ever find you feel like a different “runner” afterwards?? If so, how??

I am a Marathoner!!

2011-10-03T18:26:00.001-04:00

This post is going to be long and chatty, so I suggest you go get yourself some popcorn or pretzel stick and pop open a cold one. If you have one of those mini fridges now would be the time to fill it with some beers and cheese to snack on while reading…

October 2nd, 2011 I became a marathoner. Something that I thought I would never say. Something I thought I would never want to say. But right now, I couldn’t be more proud of myself or more happy. I DID IT!! I RAN 26.2 MILES!!!!

Quick background for some of the new followers…I have been running since the summer of 2009. I did my first half marathon on September 19th, 2010 and have done a few more since then. I signed up for the Wineglass Marathon this past January. However, due to a hip injury this spring I didn’t really follow any marathon training plan. In fact, my longest run to date before Sunday was 13.25 miles…yup. But I wasn’t going to back down. I was determined to do this and to get it over with. So I did just that…

Sunday morning…4:30 am alarm clock to wake me up before having to head out on the road at 5:00am. The marathon was in Corning, NY which is 2 hours away. 2 hours in a car ride before my first marathon?? YES PLEASE….not!! But whatever. My mother met us at our house and we woke the zombie from his slumber…that’s right…my stepson came to this race!! It was the first time he has come to any of my races. It really meant a lot.

The weather was…AWFUL!! It was pure and utter shit. It was POURING rain and cooooold (around 37 at the start). It doesn’t help when the rain is cold as ice as well. There was a little bit of wind too which just made it worse, but thankfully that let up some.

Because I knew it was going to be cold, I was sure to bundle up. I had my compression shorts & socks on, with a pair of Nike tights over them. I planned on using them as throw away pants since they are big for me anyways, but thanks to the rain, I kept them on the entire time. I wore my Nike Dri-Fit shirt along with the homemade arm warmers I made out of long socks. Over that I had a black fleece that I wore, also with the plan to throw it off mid-course…but that never happened either. I had a pair of cheap $2 gloves, a hat, a water belt and my spi-belt.

The start got off about 15 minutes late. The weather caused a lot of problems for runners and for the crew setting up the start line. We were told to park at the Philips Lighting parking lot and go to the start…well the start was over 1/2 a mile away so there was no way people were walking to that. They had busses to take the runners over there, but it sucked because my family couldn’t get on them so they weren’t there at the start :(.

Finally we start. I couldn’t feel my feet or my fingers. They were numb and tingling. It threw my rhythm off big time. Originally I teamed up with the 4:40 pace group, but telling the lead pacer that I had no time goal and definitely not one of 4:40…maybe around 5:30?? Well, I couldn’t keep up with them to start. My body still hadn’t adjusted to the weather and I didn’t feel right starting out under 11:00 a mile. So I let them go ahead and tried to find my own stride.

By mile 5 I was running with about 20 extra pounds on me because of all the water. But it was so cold and I was so soaking wet that I couldn’t even take them off. I could feel all that extra weight. I felt so heavy. It sucked. A lot. All I could feel were puddles in my shoes and socks and my hands were shriveled up because of the wet and cold. I wanted to cry. It was so awful. So many people I talked to along the course said that these were some of the worst conditions they have ran in. Mind you, it was pouring rain and cold the day before too…Bath/Corning was taking a beating. When I told people that this was my first marathon the main reaction I got was “oh you poor thing!! this is awful for your first marathon.” Thanks?? LOL.

Other than the weather, how was it??

It was…exhilarating!! It didn’t feel like I was running 6 hours…in fact, some of the 1/2 marathon’s I have done felt like they took longer, lol.

Miles 1-6…trying to find my rhythm and trying to get adjusted to the weather. Just as I would get used to the rain, it would start raining harder. As soon as I could get a little warmer, the wind would blow a cold breeze. My pace was slow, I tried to stay anywhere between 11-12:30 and I did just that. I met a young woman named Dee Dee who is running the 50 marathons in 50 states (there were A LOT of those people at this race) and we chatted a little bit. I was able to keep a nice breath…no gasping for air or choking on my sinuses (Thanks Breath Right strips!!).

Miles 7-13…Believe it or not, these were the hardest. I was questioning at time if I could really do this. My hip was starting to hurt and I thought “way to early for that you stupid hip!!”. My legs already felt tired. All I wanted to do was see my family, which were meeting me around the 1/2 way point. I felt like if I saw them I could get a recharge…and I did. I also got 3 Alieve’s and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Right before I saw my family though there was a girl who was in a GIANT sweatshirt. Someone must have given it to her while she was running because she had barely anything on underneath it and was FREEZING. She was starting to cry and turned around saying “I cant do this.” I stopped and walked towards her and said “You don’t want to quit do you?! I know your cold and this sucks but you can do it! If I can do it, you can do it!” Either my words helped her or I just made her feel guilty because she said OK and started running again. I don’t know if she finished but I sure hope she did.

I feel like I’m carrying around about 40 lbs here. Disgusting.

That face says it all…I’m spent. I can’t believe I start to feel better AFTER this…

Miles 14-20…Well, I have done it…I have officially ran my furthest distance. I looked down at my Garmin and saw that it read 14.45 miles. I told myself, get to mile 16 because then its only 10 more miles and who stops then?! I met up with an older woman (another 50 in 50 states participant) and she thought the same thing. She gave me some good advice and tips. She was very encouraging and it was a pleasure to meet her. Her spirit really kept me going. When I hit mile 16 I knew I was going to finish. There was no question. I had already felt like I was a marathoner in my mind. I ate my pb&j and kept going forward!! At this point, the rain had let up which was a HUGE blessing, but the course got SUPER boring. I didn’t turn my Ipod on until about mile 17 and only listened to it until about 20. Oh wait…I earned some props….I threw up a little at mile 19 :D I think I had a little too much Gatorade or something.

Mile 20-26.2…These miles were not as difficult as I thought. That doesn’t mean they were easy, but I expected to be dragging my ass at this point. Yes, I had to stop and walk a little bit more frequently, but all I could focus on was that finish line. The last 2 miles seemed SO long. But I still had a smile on my face. In fact, for last 4 miles everyone at the aid stations kept commenting on my smile and one couple even said “that’s the best smile at this point in the race we have seen all day!” That made me feel great. Before turning a corner a lady goes “Keep on smiling…the finish line is right around this corner” to which I screamed “THIS CORNER?!?! HOLY SHIT!!”

The Finish…IT WAS HERE!! I WAS AT THE FINISH LINE!! I WAS GOING TO BE A MARATHONER!! I couldn’t believe it. I just kept smiling. I almost started to cry, but then Damon came out, grabbed my hand and with me up until the I crossed the finish line. Officials threw one of those space blankets on me and another threw my beautiful glass medal around my neck…and I have never felt like more of a bad ass!!

Official chip time is 5:59:19 (which oddly adds up to 83, which is my birth year…1983). My Gamin says 26.45 miles 5:42:47. To my surprise, I ran A LOT of this race. Actually, after mile 16, anything but running hurt more. I would say that I ran at least 85% of it…no less than 80%. My pace overall was 13:38.

However, let me tell you what really added to my time…bathroom stops. You know what doesn’t mix well?? Compression and water. And of course, I had to stop at pretty much every porter potty. It took me AT LEAST 5 minutes at each stop just to get my gear down and back up. And thanks to the difficulty and my not wanting to waste anymore time, I have two HUGE welts on the inside of my thighs thanks to all the rubbing. Ouchies.

Time didn’t matter to me though…honestly. For the first time in a long time, I ran for fun and to just finish. And I did just that!! Not only did I finish this race, but minus the weather,I had a blast. I never hit a real wall!! I never stopped and cried and told myself to keep going. Sure, I got weak at moments early on but I said “fuck that, you are Suzi Fucking Storm…get a move on!!” and I did just that. Looking at the DNF list online makes me feel bad for those that couldn’t finish (the list is 450+ long) and even the 5 elites that were there hoping to qualify for the Olympic trials missed their mark by over 15+ minutes. This may sound rude, but hell, if the pros had a tough time in the conditions, well, I really do kick some ass for just finishing!!

This race was amazing, and not just because it was my first marathon. It was a great showing of just how strong I am and just how determined I can be. I had a goal, and I never gave up on it. I never gave up on myself. It was the experience and a lifetime and one that I will never, ever forget.

When you want something bad enough, you just do it.

Maybe going from 13.1 to 26.2 wasn’t the smartest idea in the world (so my body says today)…but rockstars tend to make their own rules. ;) I know people that train day in and day out for marathons..go run them and have a shitty time. You know what?? I didn’t train to a T and I had an AMAZING time. With that said…Don’t be expecting me to run another one anytime soon (long distance running and I are not quite having a love affair this past year).

Thank you SO much again to everyone here, on Twitter and Facebook and my real life friends, for all of your support and love and encouragement. I thought about so many of you during my run and that is what helped to carry me through those 26.2 mile with a wave of ease and comfort. I can never thank you enough. I love you all!! xoxo

And of course….there was beer!!

Now if you excuse me, I have to try and get up the stairs to our bathroom. I’m thinking that starting tomorrow I’ll just be pissing out by the tree. Screw what the neighbors think!!

(There is still time to enter the CEP Compression short giveaway!! You have until midnight on Wednesday 10/5 to enter)

There better be beer at the end of this...

2011-10-02T12:00:00.001-04:00

Hopefully this post does not turn out to be one from the grave...

It is 4:56 pm on Saturday, October 1st, 2011. Ahhhh, October, my favorite month of the year.

By now, I have hopefully crossed the finish line and am calling myself a "marathoner". Either that or they are trying to find my dead body, or I am in a hospital somewhere asking for the good drugs.

But in the real time that you will be reading this, I will be in the midst of the race. At this point I could be feeling strong and powerful, or I could be crying and bleeding and begging for lightning to strike me down.

I’m sure I have hit a (hopefully small) wall or two…

I’m sure I have already thought that there is no way I can do this…

I’m sure I have thought for the trillionth time so far this morning that this was a stupid ass decision on my part…

But maybe, just maybe, I am feeling OK.

Maybe my determination and willpower is staying strong and maybe I am fighting.

I really hope I am fighting.

Maybe I am falling in love with running all over again. Maybe I am loving myself even more.

I pray that my legs do not give out. I pray that my hip stays strong. I pray that the wind is to my back. I pray that I do not freeze. I pray that I do not poop my $100 compression pants. I pray that medics do not have to carry me off the course.

I pray that I cross that finish line.

When you all read this, I don’t know where I will be along the course…but I sure do hope that I am going strong and that the finish line is getting closer.

And if I feel like giving up soon, I hope I think about all the shit I’ve put in my mouth the past 3 days and how I need to burn off a couple of pounds ;)

(Suzi….if you happen to think to yourself, “hey, my blog post is being published now, please just remember this…stay strong, because you are Suzi Fucking Storm!!)

CEP is my savior…let me save YOU!!

2011-09-28T23:31:00.001-04:00

If you read my blog religiously, which you all should and better, you know that late Spring/Early Summer I suffered some form of hip/IT band injury. It’s really my first running “injury”, ~~awwwww~~. Some days it didn’t bother me, other days I felt like I was 80 years old.

But as you know, I’m a brokey broke broke person to the extreme this year and I couldn’t even afford to get to my Dr’s to have it properly looked at (past due balances, co-pays, blah blah blah) so I took to my own diagnoses which included lots of ibuprofen, stretching, foam rolling, ice, heat and excessive laziness.

Compression is what I needed I was told by all my fellow running nerds on zee Twitterz and DailyMile. Compression socks, which I own a pair, are a godsend but compression shorts seemed to be a good solution to my hip/It Band/Quad problem (yup, the issues grew).

Since I couldn’t pull $100 out of my ass to go buy some compression shorts…I sat and sulked...until one day, when the email fairy put a little note in my inbox…

CEP Compression wrote to me asking me if I would be willing to review their product. Ummmm….HELL TO THE YEAH!!!! Here’s the funny thing…they knew nothing about my injury. It just so happened to be a twist of luck thrown my way and the timing could not have been more perfect.

I was signed up to run the Turning Stone Races ½ marathon and I knew that would be the perfect place to test the gear. Of course, I gave it a test run BEFORE the race (never try anything new on race day…the only training tip I listen to). And well, let’s just say…I tweeted multiple times about how fabulous my booty looked in the shorts…

I wore the socks and the shorts out on my runs for about 2 weeks leading up to the race. I couldn’t believe how comfortable they felt. The compression was just right. Not too tight…not too loose. I didn’t do any long runs in them…I was saving that for race day (or at least that was my excuse).

Race day came and WOW!! I couldn’t believe how great I felt even after 8 miles (7 miles was usually my limit this summer with the hip). Of course, there was still a little bit of soreness but nothing compared to before. And my left quad felt great…something that really bothered me at the Utica 15K Boilermaker.

And don’t get me started on the socks…I am in LOVE, LOVE, LOVE with CEP Compression socks!! I have always suffered on and off from shin splints and Achilles issues (even before I was a runner) and these help SO much. I wear them during AND after. And sometimes for fun ;) (pink compression socks anyone??)

CEP is by far my GO TO product for compression gear, and I am not just saying that because they sent me stuff to review. Many of you know me…I tell it how it is. If I thought this product was crap, I would say its crap and then try to pawn the sweaty, used garb off to one of you suckers for some moolah towards the good stuff. I love you guys…really. I don’t get anything special by sitting here telling you all how wonderful their stuff is and how it’s well worth the money. I’m telling you it’s great because IT IS!! Because it truly has helped me with my injuries and with my overall running comfort. I can’t imagine running races without it.

Hence why I am running my very first full marathon in these socks and compression shorts!! I have kind of created a marathon alter-ego for myself called ‘Black Widow’…I have a black shirt, black CEP Compression shorts, black CEP Compression socks, Black Brooks Adrenaline 11’s and a black New Balance Water Belt, Black homemade arm warmers made from socks, and my gorgeous Black hair…Bring on the Black Widow!!

I know for a fact that the CEP Compression gear is going to help carry me those 26.2 miles!!

So, as a thank you to all of you, my fabulous readers, I have been allowed to do a giveaway featuring a CEP Compression product…

Since the CEP Compression shorts have really helped me out so much, just like all of you and your kind words, encouragement and inspiration to go ahead and tackle these 26.2 miles, I am happy to say that CEP Compression is allowing me to do a giveaway for a pair of YOUR VERY OWN PAIR OF CEP Compression shorts…Here is how to enter (IMPORTANT: You must leave a SEPERATE comment for each thing you do):

Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter (@SuziStorm) Yes, I’m a private account but I do accept
Follow me on Facebook
Like the CEP Compression on Facebook

Extra entries could include:

Leaving me a comment about how fabulous my bootay looks in the shorts
Send me a farewell, inspiring message for the marathon

I’m sorry but this contest is for US Residents only. But you know I got mucho love for all my international peeps. This is open to the ladies and the gentlemen. I will accept all entries from now until Midnight on Wednesday, October 5th, 2011. I will announce the winner sometime after I’m done waking up from the marathon. If I die…please contact The Frank…he wont know what to do, but it will be a fun conversation I am sure.

I have to take a minute to thank CEP Compression for this amazing fortune and for letting me do this awesome giveaway. I didn’t want to just give away “socks”…you all mean so much to me…I wanted to offer something special. I can’t do a whole lot myself, but god knows I try to give back the great gift you all give to me!! Hopefully you take this as a thank you for all your support leading up until my ~~death~~ marathon.

Now if you excuse me, I have a pillow to go cry into and a surplus of carbs ~~to drink~~… eat.

Hello Autumn

2011-09-23T07:30:00.001-04:00

It is finally here!! The happiest time of year…Autumn, Fall, Yummy Smell Season….

I am an Autumn child. Born on October 19th, my heart has always been one with this season. My favorite holiday, even as a little child, has always been Halloween. Apples, Pumpkins, the cool crisp air, the color red and the intricate colors that accompany it….I love it all.

There is a peace in the air that no other season brings me. There is a rush of happiness that flows over me every time I step out the door and inhale that gorgeous fall air. I am always my most joyful in the fall.

Living in CNY, we are pretty lucky, as we get a GORGEOUS viewing of fall in all of its glory.

Autumn is the time when I fell in love with running…Truly fell in love with it. I ran my very first 5K at a Halloween trail run. Autumn is also the time when I feel the strongest and at my best being on program with Weight Watchers (which is weird with such big Holidays that I celebrate around this time, but somehow, I stay focused).

This Autumn, I will be running my first full marathon.

Maybe you are looking for that fresh start I talked about a few weeks ago. Or maybe you are just sick of the summer heat (though I will miss Summer, because I have fallen much in love with Summer as well…especially since I lost that 101 lb blanket I had and now I’m freezing all the damn time!!)….But here is your chance to take back control!!

Here is your chance to fall (haha...get it) in love with yourself, all over again…or maybe for the first time. A chance to make a new commitment BEFORE heading into a new year.

Enjoy your pumpkins…your candy apples….the smells of cinnamon and nutmeg….that crisp chill in the air….that first taste of warm, soothing coffee in the morning…Enjoy all the colors and the crunch of the leaves on the ground….Enjoy YOU and the beauty that YOU add to this gorgeous season.

September 19th

2011-09-19T19:09:00.005-04:00

September 19th….it’s a pretty awesome day.

For starters, it is my best friend Kimberly’s birthday…and I mostly remember that because my birthday is exactly one month away :) I'm awful with birthdays, lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!! I LOVE YOU XOXO

Then there is that other awesome thing about September 19th….

September 19th, 2010…I ran my very first half marathon.

It was the Rock & Roll Race series, in Philadelphia PA.

It was the first time Frankie and I went out of state together and actually took a “vacation” just the two us (insert singing here).

It was also a huge stepping stone in my own self discovery…I discovered that I am stronger than I think. I discovered that I can do anything that I set my mind to. I discovered that I don’t give up easily. I discovered that I have a willpower that stands to be tested.

It was one of the happiest moments in my life. No race has yet to compare (nor do I think ever will. But…). I was so proud of myself, and to be honest…I don’t even think my weight loss compared to this feat.

So….here I am….12 days away from my first full marathon. I can sit here and bore you with the details about how I haven’t trained properly…I will have to walk a lot… I might have to be carried….I might die….

But…I as scared as I am, and as STUPID as running this marathon might be for me right now, I think about this day, one year ago today, and I say to myself “You can do it…because you want to do it…because there is something inside of me that is burning and needs to be put out.”

To be honest, I never fully trained properly for my half marathon either. I’m such a rebel ;)
Anyways…the point here is not to brag or ask for pity for the upcoming full…it’s to hopefully showcase this thought…

You are always stronger than you think you are. You can always do more then what you set your limits to. If you want something bad enough, you can achieve it. If you have a fire burning so fierce inside you, you will do what ever you need to do to put it out. After my 1/2 marathon I said “no way, I have no interest in running a full marathon”….yet here I am,

I’m not going to say that my life changed in some enormous way after the 1/2 marathon (well actually, it did in a lot of ways, but not because of that) but my outlook on myself changed. I believed in my worth more. I believed in my heart more. I believed in me!!

So do something….do something beyond your limits. Do something that breaks your own barriers….you never know where it will take you….

Remember The Time…

2011-09-13T23:02:00.001-04:00

No folks, this isn’t an ode to the Michael Jackson song (though, that song does kick ass). This is an ode to the way we used to be…or maybe an ode to the way we *want* to be.

Remember the time… you couldn’t wrap a standard size bath towel around your body after a shower.

Remember the time… when your ass hung over your chair in your office.

Remember the time… when your size 18’s became too tight.

Remember the time… when you rocked some camel toe just to avoid the reality that those are just too tight.

Remember the time… when you could barely buckle the seat belt around your waist on an airplane or bus.

Remember the time… when somebody offered you clothes & you took them out of kindness, all while knowing that they were two sizes too small.

Remember the time… when you looked at a photograph of yourself and you said “that’s not me…that’s just a really bad angle”.

Remember the time… when you were so jealous of all the “thin” people.

Remember the time… when you thought being “thin” was so easy.

Remember the time… when you would be out of breath going up the short amount of stairs you had to get to your bathroom or bedroom.

Remember the time… when you thought running was impossible.

Remember the time… when you checked weight limits to make sure they were safe for you.

Remember the time… when you compared yourself to other “fat” people.

Remember the time… when you woke up one morning and said to yourself “how the fuck did I get like this?!?!”

Remember the time… when you finally said to yourself, “enough is enough!!”

Remember the time… when you finally believed that you deserve better.

Remember the time… when you were not scared anymore.

Remember the time… when you took the step forward to change your life.

Remember today how amazing that choice felt.

13.1 to 26.2

2011-09-11T18:00:00.001-04:00

This is probably going to be the stupidest thing I will do in my life.

And no…I don’t mean the part where I actually signed up for the marathon. I mean the part where I didn’t train for it. The part where I resented it and began to resent running. The part where every single run or workout I did I felt was not good enough to “marathon standards”.

See…that’s just the thing…I hate feeling like I *HAVE* to do something. Nobody made me lose weight. I did it because I wanted to. Nobody made me run a half marathon. I did it because I wanted to.

Nobody is making me run a full marathon…but for some reason, I felt like *something* was making me run against my will.

This Summer (I would even say Spring) running no longer became fun for me. It was no longer a release from the everyday stresses, or time for just myself.

It became “omg, I have a marathon to run…I HAVE to get a run in”….”oh fuck, I only ran 3 miles today…that’s NOT enough for the marathon!!”….”what?? I’m supposed to run 16 miles today?! But I DON’T want to…I just want to run a easy 6!”

Some people say…well Suzi, that’s what marathon training is all about. Well, I guess I am not made for marathon training then. I’m not a distance runner. I do not get paid to make myself get out of bed or off the couch to go run. I run because I want to. I run because I choose too. I don’t want to feel guilty because I choose go ride my bike for 16 miles instead of go run for 16 miles. I don’t want to feel guilty because I went to spin class instead of pounding out 10 miles.

I was my happiest when all I looked forward to was running a quick little 5K after work, before settling in in front of the TV with my beers.

I could (and according to some of you, should) not do this marathon in pretty much 2 weeks. I have yet to run over 13.1 miles (more like 13.2 due to poor calculations by some races) and most of my races lately have been trying on my poor ailing hip and my depleted faith in the sport.

But I am going to do. I may die doing it. I may never run again after doing it. (Though please note…I really hope that neither of those things happen) But I am going to do it.

I will probably have to walk a lot of it. There will probably be a lot of tears. Maybe even some blood. This might even be my first race where I finish last….fuck, I might not even make it across the finish line before they close the damn course.

But I am going to do it.

Because this is what I signed up for. And because whether I do it the right way, or the wrong way, I just want to do it. I want to get it done with. I want to get back to being at my happiest…running for myself and only myself. Being a weekday/weekend warrior!! Running because I want to feel the release, and burn off all the beers.

And well, you know I have Frankie meeting me at certain points throughout the course with plenty of PBJ’s, Generation UCAN, and of course…BEER!!

Back to Basics

2011-09-10T11:45:00.001-04:00

This weeks Weight Watcher meeting really struck a cord with me. It was all about a fresh start. Or maybe even for some of you, it would be more a new start.

Autumn is closely falling (hahaha) upon us. This means the cookouts are over…the days of laying out and playing in the sand at the beach are put aside till next year. And now we get to complain about the bitter cold instead of the suffocating heat. (All of this happens when you live in Syracuse NY and get 179 inches of snow a year…joy!)

Summer for me is always tough. Sure, you get a more wide selection of fruits and vegetables and you can get outside and be active more. But how often do we often choose to do the “healthy” things outside in summer. How many of us end up in front of the TV, or if you are lucky enough, you’re at the stadium, watching a baseball game, drinking beer and snacking on foods that aren’t necessarily friendly to your waistline.

I need a fresh start.

Not just from the delicious summer beers I drank and tasty bbq chickens I ate, but I need a fresh start on getting back to *ME*.

Sometimes we think that when we are “sabotaging” ourselves it’s because we are weak or just making poor choices. But I think a lot of the times it’s just because we forget to put ourselves first.

I started thinking about this time last year and where I was….Days away from running my very first 1/2 marathon….so close to goal weight, then changing that goal weight because I knew I was cutting myself off short, in two months time I would hit my goal weight and a little over a month later I would become a Lifetime WW member…I felt great, strong and empowered.

Where am I today?? Still at goal weight thank god, but I don’t track like I used to. I don’t attend all my Weight Watcher meetings like I used to (I still go, just not as frequently). And I’m not all giddy and excited for my first full marathon…I’m unprepared and terrified. I feel blah, a bit broken and in need of a fresh start.

So what do we do when we feel like this?? We get back to basics!! These are my basics, the things that will give me a FRESH start:

Tracking what I eat and drink. This is what I believe to be the #1 most important tool with WW and it is what let me lose 101 lbs. Even if you don’t follow WW, journaling your food is key. It keeps me accountable and lets me see where I need to make improvements.
Attending my WW meetings more regularly. This month is my 3 year anniversary with WW (September 18th 2008 is the exact date) so I’m not going to lie….the meeting topics get a little repetitive. Especially considering that I worked for them for a few months, I could run a lot of the meetings in my sleep I am pretty sure. But for a while during the summer I used that as en excuse to not go and to go do something else. I have to stop doing that & just sit through them. There is sure to be a special moment in that meeting that makes it worth staying for…there always is!!
Staying true to MYSELF. Not just eating something because somebody made it or offered it to me. Not just preparing something to please others. I didn’t lose the weight for others and I sure the fuck do not want to gain weight back for others!!
Putting myself first. Sure, this is a lot like staying true to myself, but this is more about taking the time for myself. Taking the extra time and effort is preparing a good, healthy, Points+ friendly meal for myself. Taking the time to go to my WW meeting instead of making sure other things get done for others. Finding the time and exercise that will give me some peace of mind & a good workout!!
Remembering why I do all of this in the first place. My weight loss and maintenance is for nobody but MYSELF. I don’t do it for others. I don’t do it for any fame. I don’t do it for any statics. I don’t do it for any comparisons. I do it for me and only me and if I am not happy with the way that I am doing things, I am the only one who can change it. I can build my own little piece of happiness, and at times, that’s all I crave in life. Selfish, yes, but I don’t care.

Track, go to your WW meetings (if you are a member), choose foods that are good for you at least 90% of the time (because lets be honest here people…you are NOT going to be good ALL of the time), get some exercise in, PUT YOURSELF FIRST…Do these things, every day….that’s all you need to do!!

The basics are so simple (hence them being “basic”…I am so smart) yet we often try to make everything so complicated. And when it feels complicated, we make it complicated and it’s really not!!

So here is to fresh starts, new starts, and everything between…..

Things I can control

2011-09-08T08:38:00.000-04:00

OK folks…I’m going to try for a more upbeat positive post here. Because attitude is what you make it (~~bullshit~~)!! So here we go….
I cannot control everything in life.

I cannot control the actions and words of others.

I cannot control where my finances lay at this moment in time. (Seriously, cannot)

I cannot control where other *feel* I stand in my job. (Don’t even get me started here)

It’s too late to control how I did not prepare for my upcoming first full marathon. (I havent even ran over 13.2 miles yet)

It’s too late to go back 8-9 years and change where I went to college. (Yes folks, I am college edumacated & have one of them there fancy paper thangs)

What can I control??

I can control *ME*!!

I can control the little things (some big things) in life that make me happy.

I can start to track my food again!! Because lets face it, I haven’t done that properly in months.

I can start to work out regularly again!! Because lets face it, I’ve been slacking off ever since my love for running became to feel like a chore (that’s a whole other post that will publish this weekend).

I can take that horrible (I mean god awful) old mattress that we have been sleeping on this week (we had to throw the pillow top that we had on top of this old piece of shit out last weeked) and control its comfort to some level by putting 3 sleeping bags, 2 comforters and 2 sheets on it so I don’t wake up in tears every night from hip/neck/shoulder pains.

I can control my attitude and drive about the marathon. Instead of thinking I “cant” or that I “failed” I can start to believe that I *CAN* (UCAN baby!!) and I *WILL*!! Sure, I may not have a stellar finish time and I may have to walk a lot of it, but hey, it’s my first marathon. I should just have fun and enjoy the experience. And honestly…get it the hell over with so I can get back to running for me.

I can control my behaviors by maybe spending more time with friends, reading a book, working on that beer blog that I was supposed to launch last month, answering emails (which I am SO behind on, but they make me so happy to get), stuff like that….instead of walking in the door from work and grabbing a beer…and another one…and another one…..and another…and, well…you know.

Some things in life you cannot control at all. Some things in life become out of your control. These past two weeks I’ve felt like my house, my job and even my relationships were in severe jeopardy. And in some ways, some of those still are (not my relationship really, but money problems add major stress to a relationship). I will still sit here and feel like I am having a heart attack 96% of the time until things get back in order, BUT…

I can control a few things…a few things that are just for ME….a few things that have brought me to where I am today, physically and mentally strong…I can control the little things that bring me a few slices of happiness in my day. And in a world of chaos, that can mean a lot.

I'm sorry for the lack of posting. Many of you know, things have been very upside down for me the past 2 weeks. I promise to get some posts out soon!! In the meantime, we went to a wedding this past weekend and I think it's the first time I ever went to a wedding and was not over weight (minus being a kid). So that part cheered me up some!! Here are The Frank and I all dollied up...

Frankie, looking like a criminal as always ;)

It’s a beautiful day…

2011-08-29T21:01:00.001-04:00

Today the type of days I dream of…

Mid 60’s, early 70’s ALL DAY LONG….low humidity…just a couple of cute passing clouds in the sky…no rain, but hey, even if it did sprinkle, no bother.

Today reminded me of Autumn…my favorite season. And with my favorite season brings my favorite holiday, Halloween, and my birthday (October 19th…the most bad-ass day of the year ;) and a climate and smell to the air that brings nothing but peace and calm that no other season can bring.

This Autumn also brings my first full marathon.

So one would ask…”well, you must have gone running on this seemingly perfect day right?!?!”

NO!!

Instead I sat my lazy ass on the couch & thought about how beautiful it was and thought about how much I should/wanted to be out there.

I came to a realization today…a deep one. Earlier on Twitter I posted things that I miss, and I said : I miss Airplanes, NYC, excitement and running for fun/pleasure.

That is SO true….and just typing those words made me open my eyes.

I have always said since day 1 that I am NOT a long distance runner. I have no desire to follow training plans, or do Ultras, or run 100 miles a week…

And this my friends, is the answer to why I haven’t worked on my marathon training.

Do I want to run a 26.2…yes, I do….

Do I want to do it this year…..I did….

Do I still want to….yes, just to say I did and get it done with….no other reason!!

I miss going out after work and running 3-6 miles because I WANTED TOO!! I miss running because I felt like it, not because I felt like I HAD to!! I miss running without aches and pains…because the aches and pains mean that I am running towards something that I’m fighting against…I know my body.

I’m not going to blame social media….or others….not even on myself.

People change….GOALS change….even within an 8 month time. 8 months ago….my life turned upside down and things havent been the same. *I* havent been the same…not in a bad way, just in a crazy, hectic, wtf do I do now way!?

I’m going to do the marathon I October, because I set out to do it….I made a commitment to myself. Do I love it as much today as I did 8 months ago…no. Will I be all “OMG IM SO HAPPY I DID IT I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER IM SO BLESSED” afterwards…eh, not unless I’m drunk….

But I will do it….and I will give it my best. Because I know that I *DESRVE* the best. So from here on out…I’m not going to fake it or make myself believe something I truly don’t believe. I don’t care if I only run 2 miles between now and October 2nd. I want to run because I *want* to run…I want to run because I *want* choose to….not because I feel like I have to or should.

Sometimes, we stop listening to ourselves…and that is when we start to fall apart.

The day I chose the darkside…

2011-08-24T21:07:00.001-04:00

Today, I had a choice…

My legs were feeling better after this weekend Turning Stone Races 1/2 marathon (well due blog recap coming up on that race)…and according to my super late marathon training, I should be running miles and miles today.

But I didn’t.

Instead I chose beer(s), and a pain killer.

Oh please, don’t give me a lecture and don’t call the Betty Ford clinic.

The thing is. Life is hell for me right now (you can say this is a pity party, but we are really going through some tough shit right now). I can’t (and wont) go on as to why here out in the blog, but I’m about two steps (ok, more like 1/2 a step) away from totally, completely losing my shit. Everyday I have panic attacks and pains in my stomach that feel like an ulcer going. I shake so badly from my nerves that I didn’t even feel that earthquake the other day when everyone else in my office had. And I’m dry heaving at work in the bathroom.

It happens.

Is it another excuse?? Maybe.

One thing I did learn from the race this weekend….I do not love running like I used to.

That is yet another reason why I feel like completely losing my shit.

I haven't been blogging as much lately…is everything that’s going on in my life another excuse for that?? Probably.

But just like you, I am human. And just like you, I handle things in my own fucked up way that is not always right, and not always what is in my best interest. Truth is, I know better, yet I chose to take the opposite path. I can sit here and keep kicking myself or I can say that tomorrow I will just try to deal with it better.

I am not, nor have I ever been, that person who can always see the light in things, or focus on the positive. I wish I was. I’ve tried to train myself to be that way, and in many ways I am *much* better than I was. But still…I am always waiting for that dark cloud to cover up my sunshine and I will still throw myself my own fabulous pity party.

In the words of Tori Amos… “I’m OK when everything is not OK.”

So in a nutshell…my life feels like shit right now and I refuse to pretend its otherwise. I refuse to sit here and write a happy go lucky blog post meant to inspire hundreds…because I’m not inspiring right now.

Truth is though…I MISS being all full of sunshine and happy. We all do on bad days don’t we?? No one WANTS to be negative and miserable, but sometimes that’s just the way it is!! And sometimes, no matter how hard we try to force it to be otherwise, we just have to go through the emotions and ride the wave.

I asked people on Twitter what they thought when they saw this picture…this was taken by Frankie while I was at the starting line of the race this past Sunday. A lot of people said focus, determination, going to kick ass, fierce…..

What do I see….

Some of that, mixed with a lot of sadness and loss and confusion.

This picture means a lot to me right now because it really sums up a lot of what I am feeling as of late…

I’m not asking for your sympathy or your prayers. I’m not asking for a single fucking thing. I guess I just felt bad mostly for not posting, especially for not posting about the positive things that ARE going on in my life (a new kitty, the WM3 are free, my race). But if you’ve been following me from the start, you know I don’t try to sugar coat things. This is just how it is right now, but I sure the hell hope to have a much more positive post very, very soon. xoxo

Things I don’t want to / can’t be…

2011-08-10T22:34:00.001-04:00

You might be thinking “Can’t”?! Suzi,,,that’s not in your vocabulary. And well, you are right…for the most part.

But sometimes in life, you just know that there are certain things in life that you just can’t do…whether it be in that moment or be in that lifetime. I can’t be an astronaut because I suck ass at math….I can’t become a pure, Christian nun. Get it??

I really do suck ass at math though, so that might be more of a lifelong can’t. Anywho….

I can’t be that girl that says “Oh I won’t eat that!! Do you know how many calories that is?!”…because in truth, I WANT to eat it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to. I’m going to examine why I want it & what that food is going to do for my body…and sometimes, the evil part will win.

I can’t be that person that says “OMG I missed my workout today…I feel SO bad”…because more than likely, I feel bad, but I will get over it, real quick.

I can’t be that person who says “I’ll stop moving when I’m dead”…well A.) because I’m pretty sure I stop moving when I fall asleep and I sure the hell hope I am not dead and B.) Some days…I’m smart and I listen to my body and it says “Suzi…settle the F*ck down & chill out” and you know what…I don’t need to make excuses for that. There is tomorrow…

I can’t be that person who goes on “meat free”, “dairy free”, “carb free” “purple free” kicks….because I love meat, and cheese and the purple is a rad color. Trends like that, are not for me. You wont see me do a meat free streak because I don’t want to and I don’t care where that put me on the radar map.

What’s the point of all of this??

BE YOURSELF!!

Don’t follow other people’s views or values if you feel they don’t fit your own. Not every one is a vegan. Not everyone is a fitness freak. Not every one believes in no carbs. NO ONE does every thing right. In fact, there is no such thing.

There is only doing what is right for you, and as long as you keep doing that, you are doing it right.

If I had…

2011-08-08T08:47:00.000-04:00

If I had…followed a training plan, maybe I wouldn’t be freaking out about not getting miles in for my first full marathon.

If I had…not has those 2 last beers, I wouldn’t feel so yucky today.

If I had…not put all that garbage in my body, you know, the chips & dip, the fried food, pizza, wings and oh, everything else I happened to see that day, I wouldn’t hate the scale so much.

If I had…only went to my Weight Watcher meeting this week.

If I had…only tracked my food last week.

If I had…only went to the gym.

If I had…just said no to that damn cookie!!

If I had…just listened to what I truly wanted to do instead of acting by impulse.

If I had...paid a little more attention to how I feel when I *AM* making the right choices, and a little less attention to the bad ones.

If I had…not put myself second.

If I had…not chosen to be lazy.

If I had…stayed consistent.

If I had…could just let go of yesterday and focus on today.

If I….could just stop caring about the “If I had”

We all have those moments of “If”. We have them more often than we would like I bet. And the crappy part about these “If I had” moments, is that they usually hold us back from having “I did” moments.

You can not change rewrite your past. What is done and is done, and its my own personal belief that whatever choice you made, happened for a reason. Maybe not the reason you wanted at that moment, or even right now, but there is a lesson there. I’ve talked about that here before. The journey we are on is never ending and there is a new lesson everyday.

We are in class every day, earning the doctorate to ourselves.

Take the “HAD” out of the equation…because that doesn’t matter any more, and it doesn’t have any impact on tomorrow.

Instead, maybe try this….

If I DO…..

Now onto the Easy Print Canvas Giveaway winner!! Thank you to everyone who entered and I truly hope you enjoy your brand new awesome canvas!! And the winner is….

SARAH!!

sarah said...

And we're fb friends already.
August 3, 2011 8:12 PM

Congratulations Sarah!! Please make sure to send me your e-mail. :)

And if you didn’t win, please remember that you can go over to their Facebook Page here and click on ‘Be Our Fan’ to get an awesome discount. I am going to try & save out a little bit of $$ and get my “after” photo on one of these awesome canvases to show off in my house. Maybe I should take a picture with me in a smoking jacket holding a glass of brandy….or on top of a lion…Hmmmm, decisions, decisions.

Honesty with yourself

2011-08-04T23:12:00.001-04:00

Truth…Honest…Honesty….

Sometimes, those words fucking suck!!

But most of the times, those are the words, or signals you need to listen to the most.

We like to say…”Oh, well I didn’t have a good week…I wasn’t in the mood to track”

“It was too difficult to keep track of what I ate”

“Eh, I could have chosen X…but Y was *SO* much easier”

Cut the bullshit!!

I know and YOU know, what the right choice is….we just don’t make it all the time. In A LOT of cases, we don’t make is MOST of the time. It happens. SO WHAT…right?!

Right….until it eats at you….until you sit up at night thinking “what the fuck have I don’t and how can I undo it?!?! HOW CAN I GO BACK?!?!”

Thing is….you CANT go back. There is a reason why you cant….are you ready for this??

You can’t go back, because you haven’t really learned why you need to go forward…

Hail Mary…full of grace…the lord is with thee…..

SO LET ME CONFESS:

My very first FULL marathon is October 2nd…yup…57 days aways.

Right about now I should be writing to you about how crazy training for a full marathon has been and how it is wreaking havoc on my body and OMG I HAVE NO TIME…blah, blah fuckidy blah….

I havent done any of it. Of course, I have never followed a training plan BUT…I have always listened to my body…

This time around….I’m listening to my stupid mind.

I need to stop and tell myself…I AM NOT BEING HONEST, I AM BEING LAZY!!!!!!!

Every one has their weakness…we are not always strong…we are not always fabulous…sometimes, we are weak and we need a helping hand…

so I reach up high towards the sky….

In honor of Pele–A Giveaway

2011-08-03T07:30:00.006-04:00

Two years ago today, I lost my beloved little girl, Pele. She was taken from me far too soon (at the young age of 11 years) from Feline Diabetes.

Losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through. I blogged about this on the one year anniversary but as you can tell, it gets a little easier and easier as the years go by. I even did yet another special post to her here. Though, I still can’t think too much about that day she passed. I just cant.

She was my child. I actually got her right around the time I found out that I most likely wouldn’t be having children…I consider it a sign really. Another sign that she truly was “my baby”…well I brought her home on Halloween!! Yes, my favorite holiday, and that’s what the vets listed as her birthday. She was my everything, and still is.

I even have her name tattooed on me (and I refuse to get living “humans” names on me EVER):

We have a little memorial for Pele in the living room. As the wounds have healed the memorial has included more special things, like pictures and such. It holds her ashes, her favorite red bear she always carried around, and a shadowbox with her paw prints in it.

This year it got something special added to it though…

The super kind folks over at Easy Canvas Print contacted me and asked if they could do a canvas print up for me. I thought this was really neat and different. I thought to myself “Sure, I can commemorate my weight loss someway”…but I just wasn’t feeling it. I tried to think of picture that I love enough that I would want memorialized on canvas forever….PELE!!

So I sent them this semi-grainy picture I took (not long before she passed actually) with my old shitty cell phone camera that I don’t even have anymore, and this is the amazing piece that was sent to me:

Here’s a full view of the memorial…

So….the awesome people over at Easy Canvas Prints are letting me turn this somber moment into a cheerful one by giving a canvas print to one of my fabulous blog readers!! (And no….you don’t have to get a picture of my Pele on your very own canvas, though I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to…or a picture of me…you know, whatevz)

Here’s how to enter:

Go to the Easy Canvas Prints Facebook Page and like them. Then leave me a comment here saying you did so.
Follow my blog (leave me a comment saying you do so).
Follow me on Twitter (@suzistorm) (leave me a comment saying you do so)
Follow me on Facebook…bet you can’t guess what my name is ;) (leave me a comment saying you follow me)
Leaving a cute little comment for Pele on here may just get you an extra entry <3

Incase you didn’t get the hint…. Please be sure to leave a comment for each separate entry.

I’m sorry, but this giveaway is only open to US residents (excluding Hawaii & Alaska). Contest is open from now until Sunday at Midnight (eastern time). I will be using a random number generator to pick the lucky winner.

A major thank you again goes out to the great folks at Easy Canvas Prints for making this beautiful piece for me. I can’t fully ever explain what it means to me and my family to have her big beautiful eyes watching us in some way again.

Pele…mommy loves you and misses you so very much. XOXO

Struggling with Struggles

2011-07-30T10:13:00.004-04:00

*This post is kind of a collaboration post with my dear friend *Bitchcakes* This is a topic that is brought up to us a lot from people who follow us on Twitter and such and we felt is was important to address the subject here on our bloggy-blogs. So of course, please go over to her blog post here to read her thoughts about the struggles we face once we reach goal*

Many, many times I have heard from people online AND in real life the following statement:

“You mean, you still struggle after hitting your goal weight??”

When people say that to me I am astonished!! I feel bad in a way because sometimes I just outright laugh. But I can’t help it. The fact that people would think to ask that kind of blows my mind. But then again, I guess I used to wonder the same damn thing too huh.

Here’s a secret….Sssshhh, don’t tell anyone I told you OK...

When you hit your goal weight YOU STILL STRUGGLE!!

Crazy right?!?! Who would’ve thunk?!

Sure, maybe as a Lifetime Weight Watcher member I don’t FREAK about what the scale says every week, or if I had too much sodium the night before a weigh-in, or allow myself that extra ~~ninth~~ beer. But you have to remember something…
Losing weight is not the answer to what the real problems are. Not fitting into a size 8 jean is not the problem, the problem is what GOT you into not being able to fit into that size 8 (and that’s more than just stuffing your mug with some pizza pie).

Unfortunately, when you step on the scale and it shows that magical # that you have been working oh so hard for, all of your “issues” and struggles do not disappear. When you step back off that scale, you still have to be just as aware of your actions (or non-actions) as you did before you saw that winning #.

I still have to tell myself to not buy that brick of cheese.
I still have to force myself to get to the gym on some (ok lately, most) days.
I still have to tell myself that choosing the multigrain bread over the white is a much better choice.
I still have to say “OK Suzi, just one more beer….”And then STOP at that one (again, still a hard struggle).
I still get on the scale at home everyday to keep myself in check.
I still have to drink my water, eat my veggies, watch the carbs, watch the fats, choose the protein, watch the chocolate, stay away from the dip, light cheese please, dressing on the side, no croutons (I give them to Melanie :P), Ben & Jerry who??
I STILL have to TRACK what I eat!!

OK, so here comes the uber cliché part but….this is a lifestyle, not a diet. And a lifestyle is something that you DO…everyday, every hour, every minute. Choices are abundant and they are every where at all times. You still have to be aware to make the “better” choice when you are at your goal weight.

You are never going to be “cured” from eating the whole brick of cheese in one sitting….you just know how to say “NO CHEESE, NO!” a lot easier.

In some cases (not to scare you here) but there are MORE struggles. Like, how the hell do I maintain my weight loss now?!?! What is this new body and what do I do with it?? Why is it that I’ve lost 101 lbs, but gained a couple back and all of a sudden I feel like a huge blob, yet I’m under goal weight & when I was at this weight 8 months ago I felt like Hedi Klum(please tell me I’m not crazy)?? Every weight loss, big or small, comes with it’s own set of “new struggles”. But of course, these new struggles mean new learning’s which mean new self growth!!

The biggest thing I still struggle with?? Being consistent. Consistent with my tracking, my running and of course, my beer (and by being consistent with beer, you all know I mean by NOT consistently drinking a 6 pack+ a night LOL). I have to work on this everyday and I will have to for the rest of my life. Sure, that sounds kinda sucky but I know that if I don’t I will just end up where I was 2 years ago…252 lbs and absolutely fucking miserable. And that is a place I never want to be again, so I’m ok with struggling.

The weight loss may come to an end, but the journey to a healthier and happier will always continue on. (Look for my inspirational greeting cards to hit the market any day now)

The Power of Poetry

2011-07-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

A dear friend shared a poem with me that really touched me. It's something I think I could read everyday. It's something so simple, but yet so powerful. I wanted to share it with you all....

Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters

a poem by Portia Nelson
(published in her book: There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery)

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

Dear Wonder Down Under, I am so sorry...

2011-07-21T15:34:00.001-04:00

I’m behind on a lot of posting. It’s hard with all this beautiful weather (I write from inside, shielding myself from the 112 degrees outside). But seriously, I do apologize for my lack of updates. Here in Central NY we don’t get much of a summer, just a lot of snow, so I try to soak up as much of the sun as I can during these times.

The weather has been too hot in the evenings for running. At least for me anyways. I’ve been trying to get out in the AM. Some mornings I am successful, others not so much.

This past Tuesday was one of them where I was not. But, I didn’t really want to take a rest day. Also, Tuesday was the day I could finally drink again (I did another 7-day beer/alcohol free cleanse) and I didn’t want to just go home and start pounding the beers back. OK…actually, I DID want to do that, but I know that’s a no-no good for me, so I chose to do this instead…..

I went to my very first Spinning Class. Or as I like to call it, the Vagina Massacre.

Yes folks, believe it or not, I have never been to a spin class before. In some ways I was scared. I’ve always heard about the butt kicking and sweat pouring and maybe in some ways I was worried I wouldn’t be fit enough for such a class. Kind of silly coming from someone who runs ½ marathons and is about to run a full huh??

I was ready….my lady business was not.

Did I enjoy the class though?? You bet your sore asses I did!! I don’t think I have EVER sweat so much in a class or even a workout for that matter (be careful what you wish for Suzi). The music was fun…it was a mix of new school beats with old school beats. We actually ended on Led Zepplin!! How awesome is that!? The instructor was super nice and she kicked our butts properly, but wasn’t all crazy military style (that type of training never appeals to me). That 1 hour class also earned me 11 APs (Weight Watcher Activity Points).

It was not scary at all!! I don't know why I let me fear of taking this class hold me back for so long. It's great because in a way, you control how hard you push yourself. And somedays, that is just what we need...a good challenge amoungst ourself!!

Let this be a healthy message & reminder to not let fear stand in your way of doing something that you really want to do.

So will I be going back again next Tuesday?? Of course!! As long as spinning doesn’t start to interfere with my sex life, I will be going regularly. Maybe this time I will bring a gigantic sanitary pad with me to stuff in my shorts. :/

Something's to Mention:

A couple of weeks back I did a Podcast with the amazing Christina and her Husband Jerry. They run an amazing site called Miles4Kids. I had such a blast talking with them...for the 2nd time, hee hee. The first time we taped, the record button wasn't working. It just made the 2nd time around all that more fun!! You can listen to my episode here.
This past week was the first week in a very, VERY long time that I tracked EVERY day of the week AND I tracked EVERYTHING I ate and drank!! I also earned 42 AP's for the entire week!! Let's be honest, tracking can be hard sometimes. Especially hard to keep it consistent and I find it harder to do that when at my goal weight.
I have not forgotten about the Vlog!! Thank you SO much to everyone who left a question in the comments or sent me an email. I got a lot of great questions and I have put them all together. Looks like there will be more than one vlog post coming up :) Now it's just finding the time & a quiet spot to do it.
A few readers and Twitter followers asked me where I got the grey t-shirt with the runner on the front that I was wearing in my previous Boilermaker recap post. It is from Generation UCAN and it can be purchased here. When you buy this cool tshirt you also give back to the M.E.B (Maintain Excellent Balance) Foundation!!
I'm currently working on a side blog that will be beer related!! I am super stoked for this. It's called 'Pints & Pumps' and it will focus on women, beer, and healthy living. I hope to get it up and running by next week and I hope everyone enjoys it.

There’s no such thing as enough free beer…

2011-07-13T18:32:00.001-04:00

This Sundays Boilermaker 15K was a *BLAST*!!!!

I set out and accomplished EXACTLY what I wanted to do with this race…have fun!!

I finished in 1:37:39 and I am totally happy with that. Yes, it’s a couple minutes slower pace than I have been running, but considering that I hadn’t ran in over 2 weeks, been dealing with hip issues & hadnt ran that far since the Buffalo 1/2 marathon, I have no regrets or disappointment's about my time or my performance.

My hip actually held up pretty good. The last 5K part of the race was the hardest part. That’s when my quads really started to act up. But I kept running along. The hills were not as bad as I had imagined and thanks to my homemade Generation UCAN gel I made I had plenty of oomph & energy to get through them.

Crossing that finish line was great, and of course…so was the free Saranac beer. Of course, there is never enough free beer for me!!

So here are some pictures from the weekend. The Saturday before the race we attended the Race Expo (Which was AWESOME!!) and then did the Saranac Brewery Tour (Which was even MORE AWESOME and seriously, the best $5 we’ve ever spent…if you ever get a chance to go, DO THIS BREWERY TOUR!!). I didn’t carry my camera with me on race day and I accidently left it in the car, but we did snap a few pictures with our phones. Enjoy!!

The Goggles make their appearance of course!!

Please note that in the 4 photos above, we had consumed NO beers as of yet…

Now onto the beer!!!!The clock above is worth 1.3 million dollars…where the hell is a truck when I need one!!

I will take one of each please!!

These barrels are actually from Jack Daniels. They actually smell like whiskey. They are working on a new brew

I never buy hats but I loved this Utica Club one!! I put all my Boilermaker pins on it too

The gang at a great place called ‘Babes’. More beer and Carbs!! Carbs!! Carbs!!

And of course, I had to try the safety goggles on for myself!!

And, here are a few photo’s from race day (After party baby!!)….

FREE BEER!! FREE BEER!! FREE BEER!!

Yeah, no words need to be said about the two photo’s above….2 of the coolest people we met at this race.

Shara’s drunk. I love her!!

This is the Syracuse Mascot, Otto The Orange…I saw him on the way to the after party & he gave me the devil horns!! HELL YEAH!! \m/

I feel like I’m leaving out so much, but really, there is nothing else to say beyond that this race was awesome!! The fellow runners were awesome, the volunteers and spectators were awesome, the vendors were awesome, the bands were awesome, the after party was awesome, the beer was awesome (duh!). It was AWESOME…and I can’t wait to do it all again next year.

Next up….Turning Stone Races 1/2 Marathon in August. My last 1/2 before the full…DUN,DUN,DUN!!

No expectations

2011-07-08T21:24:00.001-04:00

No expectations…That’s my moto going into this Sundays Boilermaker 15K race. As many of you know my past 2 races were pretty much a let down to me in some ways. Most of the reason they were let downs is because I put so much pressure on myself…WAY too much pressure. I was worrying about what time I would finish, what my pace would be, how strong I felt, how I looked, how I compared to others racing that day, all of that ridiculous garbage.

Sunday’s race, I am going in with none of that garbage on my mind.

I don’t give a fuck what time I finish. I don’t give a fuck what my pace is. I don’t give a fuck who finishes what where and when.

All I care about it that I have fun and I cross that damn finish line.

I haven’t ran in 2 weeks mostly due to my hip (other pure laziness), which isnt 100% but I should be good. I went to a chiropractor for the first time ever this past week and I think it helped some. But even though I haven’t been running, I feel strong. Maybe it’s because I am itching to run so badly. Who knows.

The thing about the Boilermaker is that it’s pretty much a well known beer race. It’s main sponsor is Saranac Brewery and um…there is free beer at the finish line!!

FREE BEER…AFTER RUNNING!! There’s also a killer after party which I’m really looking forward to as well (duh).

That’s right folks, this race was made for Suzi. And 13,000+ other people as well. The race is HUGE. So therefore, I know that time and pace and all that nonsense just shouldn’t matter. *FUN* is what should matter, so FUN is what I plan to have!! :)

Tomorrow is the expo and afterwards we are going to the Saranac Brewery for a tour. I am *CrAzY* excited for the tour!! My mother is coming along as well as my friend Shara who is also running the race. This will be a bit strange for me since it’s always just Frankie and I at my races, but I think it will be nice and will just add to the key element….FUN!!

This race is kind of the start of me kicking my ass back into gear. I’m a few weeks behind in my training for the full marathon, so in a way, this race is my long run for the week. Also, while I am at my goal weight I am not at my “awesome” weight (which is just a few lbs under). I haven’t been tracking and I’ve been making poor decisions and that has to stop. I’ve been slowly working on all of that this past week.

So those are my goals for Sunday….having no goals, LOL. Eh, I guess there are SOME goals. Like, don’t get injured, cross the finish line, be careful in the heat, HAVE FUN, drink beer!!

Good luck to everyone else out there running races this weekend!! #UCAN RUN FOR FUN!!

A day at the beach…

2011-07-02T19:18:00.001-04:00

Today has been a fabulous day. Of course it’s not over yet so I am probably jinxing it BUT….

Today…we went to the beach. This is the first time I’ve been at the beach in YEARS!!

Not only did I go to the beach, BUT…I also wore my bathing suit out in public…meaning, other than at just Golds Gym.

Here are some pictures to document the day…

The Frank, just having a blast…

Thunder thighs to the rescue….

Mmmmmm, water…..

I look like the hulk here….

I’m such an artist….

A couple hours later at Coopers Landing…my all-time favorite bar….

My bloggin’ peeps…This is a special message from THE FRANK:

“They won’t believe it’s us without beer in our hands. Plus, I shaved…so they will wonder who that good looking motherfucker is that you are with now….”

So….here is a picture to prove it’s us…Love, The Frank-

Have a very happy and very safe July 4th everybody!!!!

I have ALL the answers…

2011-06-28T18:18:00.001-04:00

to all of YOUR questions!!

I think it’s time I try my hand again at doing a little vloggy vlog on this bloggy blog (yes…that did just happen. Deal with it.)

However, I have no freaking clue what to talk about, or why you would want to see my face, but I thought it would be a cool idea to maybe answer any of YOUR questions!!

So it’s pretty simple…From today until, oh I don’t know maybe Saturday night or Sunday morning, send me ANY questions that you have that you would like me to answer via vlog (that’s a sweet name… Via Vlog). You can put them in the comments forum or hit me up via email: SuziStorm@gmail.com or DM me on Twiter @SuziStorm.

They can be about running, weight loss, beer, what kind of shampoo I use, how often I wash my cats, my favorite curse word...what *you*, my fabulous reader, wants to know!!

If I get no questions…well, you lucky readers get no vlog . But you know…I do have all the answers so I guess that would be your loss….

White Lies

2011-06-26T17:10:00.001-04:00

Sometimes we tend to tell ourselves “little white lies” in order to either A.) feel better about ourselves or a particular situation or B.) to get us “off the hook”.

Well here are some little white lies that are OK to say to yourself SOMETIMES….

(please use with caution…and if they don’t work, you can’t blame me)

It’s a Friday…I think it’s illegal to workout on Fridays in this state.
My dog ate my gym clothes.
I think I’m building too much muscle.
This cheese cost like $3…I can’t let it go to waste or get moldy!!
I think I’m building too much muscle, I better take a few days off. I don’t want to be the Hulk.
There’s a full moon.
It’s “that time of the month”…ok this might not be a white lie.
Beer is a healthy carb. (this is not a lie)
If I dream about running, it’s counts.
Confucius says….
My body just needs some fattening foods. It’s become immune to vegetables.
Weight Watchers says that Points + values are currently not working today…Will resume tomorrow.
"But…I ate good all week damnit!!”
If this was really SO bad for me, it wouldn’t be a food right?? People don’t eat rat poison!!
These jeans are just tight because I’m bloated…I drank too much water.
The scale was down last week…I got cushion!
My Dr. said to take it easy.
I don’t want to do too much, too soon. (OK, this one is true like 98% of the time, but sometimes we abuse its truth)
My friends on Twitter and DailyMile said it’s OK for me to take the day off.
I’m just too busy to go run. (again…sometimes true, sometimes abused)
Because I don’t fucking feel like it!!!!!!!!!!

There are so many more. But here’s the thing about “white lies”…

They are OK!! Sometimes, they are even necessary. They help us to take a break sometimes or just to recharge. As long as we don’t abuse them, they will work for us and not against us.

Starting Over

2011-06-22T23:01:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, it feels like we are repeatedly starting over…

starting over at weight loss….

starting over at running…

starting over in a relationship…

starting over with a new goal…

starting over with a new mantra…

I mean, IF ONLY right??

If ONLY we could just lose those few extra pounds….everything would be better.

If ONLY we could run those extra miles….everything would be better.

If ONLY every day was as happy as yesterday…everything would be better.

Life doesn’t work that way.

Most mornings, I wake up feeling like I have to “start over”. Maybe not at weight loss (101 lbs is a lot to start over) but I feel like my struggle to keep my weight where it is at is a constant “start over” moment.

My running lately certainly feels like a HUGE “start over”…2 bad races in a row, poor breathing, hip
problems, endurance struggles…this aint my first fucking rodeo, so why does it feel like it??

Here’s a little word of advice I think I’ve learned recently….

If it doesn’t feel like you’re “starting over” then you are not living up to your full potential. You are half ass’ing it and not giving it all you got. Or maybe you WERN”T giving it all you got for a while.
Lost 25 lbs and now you’re stuck?? Feel like you’re “starting over”?? Ran a 10K and now you can barely run 3 miles?? Feel like you’re “starting over”??

You are NOT starting over….you are GROWING!!!!

I wish I could put into words how much I’ve *mentally* grown these past 3 months, but I cant quite yet.

But please, don’t tell yourself you are starting over…because you are not…you are growing stronger and wiser. And you don’t ever want to stop doing that do you??

I know what I did last Summer.

2011-06-21T09:36:00.000-04:00

I don’t know about you guys, but every year I love summer more and more!!

I went from being an angst young kid who hid from the sun. I mean seriously hid…carried a parasol, wore jeans and long sleeves all the time (oh the days of goth…GAG!!) Then as I got a little older I started allowing myself to go out for a few hours, but of course I hated my body so the jeans stayed.

Then there is today...where I have to be pried AWAY from the sun!! I *LOVE* summer!!

I love everything about summer…the heat, the sweat that trickles down my back, the smell of the air, the way the beer tastes, the way the food smells, the runs in the sun, the late night bike rides while it’s still light out, the activities you can do with your family, the fun memories you can make for yourself!! I. Love. It. All.

Summer is such a special time for me because it’s a great reminder of how far I’ve come. I never want to be that grouchy bitch who does nothing but sit inside and complain about the heat. I want to be outside, playing, laughing, and loving in the sun!! (side note: if you are going to do some “loving” in the sun…bring bug spray. For the love of god, BRING BUG SPRAY!!)

Some of you may remember but for the first time in YEARS I bought a bathing suit about 2 months ago...

Please excuse the paleness, this was taken a couple months ago in my gyms locker room. I have yet to wear it anywheres but the gym, but I hope to hit the beach soon!!

Here I am celebrating my VERY hot run yesterday with a VERY cold beer (that’s ice, not a poor pour by moi)….

SUMMER…BRING IT ON!!!

What do you love most about summer??

It's not my time

2011-06-20T10:51:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, no matter how badly you want something, it just isn’t your time.

And when it is *YOU* that has to come to that realization, it can be very, very difficult.

This is something I have been thinking about for weeks (OK, well over a month really) and it was something that only I could decide for myself.

I have decided that is it not my time to become a Weight Watcher leader.

Why you ask??

Because it is my personal belief that if your heart & mind are not 100% connected, then why do it??

I became a Lifetime Weight Watcher on December 23rd 2010. Nothing but a week later, I was hired to be an employee, followed by doing a Success Story shoot for Weight Watchers, followed by going to Oprah, followed by newspaper appearances and such. All the while, trying to train for my job as a Leader…work on my running…work my full time job…take care of my house…take care of my family…take care of myself.

I haven’t had time to just BE.

Be Suzi…be a Weight Watcher lifetime member…be a runner…be just a normal girl who is trying to learn about the new body she has made for herself.

I'm not saying I have this crazy, glamous, rock star life because I really do not. But when you go from an obese chick who never liked to leave her house & go out in public, to where I am today...it can be a lot to take in. Again as I have said before, not that I am not grateful for all these experiences. I mean, they are AMAZING and I look forward to hopefully more to come.

Do I want to inspire others?? OF COURSE!! Hell, that’s what I try to do everyday, especially here on this blog. Really, it’s the only reason I *do* blog. But sometimes I feel so mentally exhausted that my desire to go and inspire people on a weekly basis is just not stimulating to me right now. And that’s not fair to my fellow staff or especially to the amazing members walking through that door each week.

This is a really hard decision for me, because I really do want to be a leader so badly. But I have to be honest about how I feel right now. I need to take some time out to inspire *myself* for a little while.

So, that is what I hope to do this summer….work on my running and training for the full marathon in October. October is also when I will reach my 10 month’s at Lifetime and as long as I keep weighing at goal (knock on wood), I get another little celebration key!! Spend this summer actually LOVING my body instead of hiding it from the sunshine & world…learning to be more comfortable in my own skin.

I will revisit the leader role around mid-fall/winter and see how I feel. There is no need to rush any of this, as my amazing bosses have reassured me. I just need to be honest with myself, and I truly do believe that right now at this very moment, this position is not for me....yet.

In the meantime I’m just looking forward to being me, without so much pressure.

What I ate yesterday

2011-06-16T09:57:00.000-04:00

Breakfast- 0% Lemon Chobani Greek Yogurt, 1 cup of coffee, ½ of my Sigg water bottle

Lunch- ½ of a garden salad w/ light ranch (wasn’t a fan of the salad), 1 hot dog & 1 coney (both on regular hot dog buns), a ziplock bag of Artesian Chipolte tortilla chips, 1 Bud 55

Mid day- Two Diet Pepsi’s

Dinner- A spicy Chicken sandwich w/ cheese, value size fry & ceaser side salad all from Wendy’s.

Later that night- The rest of the tortilla chips

Beer consumed that night- 6 HopDevil’s & 3 Michelob Ultras

Exercise- None, unless you count sex

Yeah…this seems to be the same steady pattern for my entire ~~week~~, oh hell who am I kidding, 2 weeks?? 3 weeks??
I don’t need to go into how I feel and wah, wah, waaaah. It’s just time to knock it the fuck off and wise up!

So that’s what I’m going to do. Starting right now…..

More never before seen "before"

2011-06-09T10:58:00.000-04:00

I found some more "before" pictures this morning at work and I thought I would share them. Sharing the ones yesterday really made me feel better.

These ones are a bit harder for me though, because I honestly was at my lowest point. I was miserable to everyone, and I hated myself more than I ever thought I could.

The picture of me in the shorts...Yeah, those were guys shorts in an XXL with an elastic band. I made myself buy them, but I only wore them that one day and only for the time we went "walking" to try and find a fishing spot. I felt disgusting in them (you cant get me out of shorts now!...well you can ;)

These were taken on August 22nd, 2008...approximately one month before I joined Weight Watchers....

And how about a photo from literally today...I feel AMAZING!!!!

Rocking my size SMALL sweater and size 6 pencil skirt baby!!

And to everyone who noticed a key difference in the photos (other than weight of course)...thank you. It was something I had noticed a long time ago too. I have learned really, REALLY love my smile!! It has become one of my favorite features :D

Why I’d NEVER quit!!

2011-06-08T21:15:00.001-04:00

I can’t thank you all enough for your amazing comments on my last post about my last “race”. It means the world to me that I know that you all have my back, just like I’ve known in my heart this whole time.

Some of you mentioned things about me not giving up and not quitting…and honestly those things never, ever crossed my mind.

I WILL NEVER QUIT ON MYSELF!!!!

I will never give up. I will never throw away ALL of the *hard work* I have put into being this AWESOME individual I call, Suzi Storm . I will never go back to being the depressed, lazy, miserable slob I was before….because who I am today, and who I wish to be tomorrow, is far too amazing. You can’t buy happiness, but you sure can work towards it.

I’m writing this post because I came across some “before” pictures, from June 5th of 2008. I forgot that these even existed. When I opened them, I got extremely emotional. It brought it back to that “place”…that deep, dark place where my misery was seeping through my pores.

So before I lose the guts to share them with you all….here they are…some never before seen before pictures….

(Please note, I have edited people out of these photos, such as my stepson, because I do not like the idea of plastering his 12 year old face online)

I will never go back to being in place…I just wont allow it.

Because I love being here, being happy, and loving myself above all else…

Under pressure…

2011-06-07T21:23:00.002-04:00

Having a tough race can be difficult…physically and mentally.

Having TWO tough races in a row can be well…soul crushing.

Lets be honest here, my Buffalo Half Marathon experience was more of a personal let down than a physical one. I had an amazing PR (12:15!!), and overall the whole event was great. I learned a lot of things from that race and I know I will feel even stronger going into my next half (coming up in August most likely).

My heart has always kind of belonged to the 5K races. I love these races and I really don’t know why. Maybe because they are only 3.12 miles…or maybe because you get to go FAST and don’t have to worry too much about wearing yourself. Or maybe its just the crowd…a mix of “veteran” runners with newbies. Either way, I love them. So you can only imagine how excited I was to go sign up for the Paiges Butterfly Race which happened this past Saturday….MY REVENGE RACE I started to call it.

I can ROCK a 5K!! I always have!! NO problem!! NO sweat!! This race is MINE!!

Only, I quit the race half way through…

On Saturday, for the first time in my life, I quit mid-race.

Friday night was a good night. I had tracked all day…had a protein/carb filled dinner (grilled bbq chicken breast & salt potatoes)…I kept my beer intake down…got my Generation UCAN shake in that night…foam rolled (that I got that night! I am no longer a foam rolling virgin ;)…things were looking and feeling GREAT!! I tweeted and got on the Facebookey yelling and screaming “LETS DO THIS!”.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling the same way…bright and early and ready to run my heart out. That morning I was listening to my headphones as I was stretching downstairs and I was visualizing myself crossing that finish line. I was visualizing myself running fast, making a new PR, feeling STRONG and PROUD and DEFIANT!! I was ready…

I met up with a local friend (our actual first time meeting since talking online for a while) a long with another Daily Mile friend…Shara & Chris (a HUGE congrats to them for their AMAZING race times…I hope we get a “do-over” together some day soon)…

I was excited and pumped when we got to the starting line. I didn’t really have a time goal in mind. I mean, I had ran a 1/2 marathon less than a week before…I just wanted to have a great run. I guess in my heart though, I was setting myself up for failure before I even officially signed up for the race.
I started out fast…too fast. Sometimes I like to do this and it works, but I should have known better.

My legs were not FRESH and neither was my mind. I was trying to keep up with others without really keeping up with myself. I kept telling myself to slow down, but then there was another side of me that said if I slowed down I’d be failing myself “just like you did by having to walk a few times in your last race Suzi…you don’t want to do that again do you Suzi….Suzi, dont puss out”!!

Next thing I know…I cant breathe. I mean I physically cannot breathe!! And I stopped.

I tried to catch my breath. I told myself to just get my heart rate back down…things seemed “out of this world” to me…everything around me seemed weird. I said to myself “I cant believe you just fucking STOPPED AGAIN!!”…if I was the Hulk, I would have turned green and did and Hulk slam right there and then.

I started to run again, only to find the most intense, crazy ass pains under my collar bones and my right breast. My breathing was worse and the pain was awful.

This is where things took a life of their own…

There was no “wall”…there was no talking myself out of it….there was no thinking….I just physically stopped, ribbed my bib off my shirt, turned around and started walking back. It was like an out of body experience. That’s right….I didn’t even walk to the finish line, I walked ALL the way BACK to where the race started.

I kept telling myself “Suzi, this isn’t your finish line to cross”…but of course, I cried. I held back as many tears as I could. I was embarrassed and ashamed as I passed the other runners. I kept thinking “my god, what if these people recognize me from Oprah, the news, or the recent Newspaper article…I look like a fraud, a failure, a QUITTER!!” I wouldn’t look anyone in the eye. I was holding the right side of my chest (since it hurt) and a few officials came up to me to see if I was OK and needed help…I said I was fine and just kept walking. I didn’t bother to look at them or hesitate. I kept wishing I knew a faster way to get back and on that didn’t involve me going near the finish line.

I passed a police officer who asked me if I was OK…I said yes and asked if the next street up would take me to where I needed to be…he patted me on the shoulder and said yes. I don’t know why this simple gesture made me feel better, but it did. He was the first person I looked in the face since I had stopped and turned around.

The time on the clock was around 44 minutes (again, I didn’t cross the finish line, but I could see it) and I normally finish 5K’s around 28…but Frankie and I had a meeting place. Of course, he wasn’t there cause he was worried and looking for me…but thanks to a nice couple who let me use their cell phone I was able to track him down. We walked back to the car and all I would say is that I didn’t want to talk about it, and I choked back more tears. He kept telling me not to be so hard on myself (SO much easier said than done) and how its probably this damn cold of his that I’m catching (part of this is really true…my chest has been very heavy & sinuses have been crazy! I started getting sick 1/2 marathon weekend)…but I didn’t want to hear any of it.

So that brings me today…I’d be lying if I said I still wasn’t pissed at myself, because I am. I loved this race last year…it was my first sub 30 5K!! But at the same time, I don’t really regret not finishing. I truly believe that the sentence “Suzi, this is not your finish line to cross” is true.

There’s a HUGE lesson here. Something that I think I’ve know for a while but I haven't really allowed myself to address, and that is….PRESSURE.

Since January I have….done a Weight Watcher photo shoot, done online interviews, went on Oprah, was on my local news, did an interview & photo shoot for my local newspaper, started working for Weight Watchers and have become a leader apprentice, and have become a sponsored runner….

Not even 2 years ago I was a 252 pound woman who wouldn’t move away from her couch, her chips or her beer (ok…you still cant get me away from the beer, but whatever)…I couldn’t even run for 10 seconds straight!!

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel pressure…pressure on myself, and pressure from others. I *never* want to let others down, and when you feel like a good portion of the world is looking at you, that’s A LOT to live up to. I know I’m not famous and I know that there arent THAT many people…but you get my point. Lately, it feels like everything I do has to live up to something great…it has to be better than the last time.

NOW...thats not to say that I am not *EXTREMELY* greatful for the blessings that have come my way, because believe me, I AM!! I look forward to hopefully even more in the future.

In feeling like this though and not letting myself acknowledge it, I have let myself suffer (mentally…I am horrified with how I’ve handled myself after these past few races…I am a fighter, I don’t beat myself up!!)…my house suffer (I barely want to do the dishes)…my tracking suffer (I’m still below my goal weight, but not as much as usual)…my physical activity has suffered (not anywhere near where it normally is)…my bills have suffered…my full time job has suffered…my races have suffered…

So what do I do now….

I take it easy. I remind myself that I am human, just like everyone else.

I am a runner, just like everyone else.

I am a Weight Watcher, just like everyone else.

I struggle, just like everyone else.

I fall, just like everyone else.

I’ve never been out to please others, so I don’t know why I feel I need to do that or live up to a standard they may have about me now. I know that in this instance that I didn’t live up to *MY* own standard, but then again, I wasn’t being honest with myself.

This post could go on for a lot longer, but I’m going to cut it short here. There will be a part two I am sure, once I continue to reframe myself. So along with reframing, I will get back to my roots. My next race is July 10th, and I’d like to think I can get my shit back together before then. I need to get back to running for ME!! As runners, it is natural for us to be hard on ourselves, but there is a line between being hard and being self destruction, and I have definitely crossed that line lately.

Stopping this race mid-way through may have saved my life…or in a less dramatic way, a trip to the hospital…or I could have kept running an 8:30 pace and had a new PR…I will never know…

But I do know that what I’ve learned about myself and how I’ve treated myself these past few months, is worth the wondering.

**an ENORMOUS thank you goes out to all of you on Twitter, Facebook and Daily Mile for all of your encouragement and inspiration. I kind of “unplugged” from most of the social media sites so I didn’t get to reply back to most of you. I’m sorry for being a whiny ass bitch (Logan!). Thanks for putting up with me. xoxo**

The Golden Arches

2011-06-03T11:11:00.000-04:00

There is a McDonald’s right next to our local grocery store. I’ve been known to stop there from time to time, though not too often of course. I know, I know….McDonalds is bad for you, blah blah blah, whine whine whine.
How do you know that what I’m having at McDonalds isn’t good for me?? You don’t, so politely shut it!!

This isn’t about me and my trip to McDonalds though…this is about one woman’s trip there.

I do not know who she is. I do not know her name. I don’t know how often she frequents that establishment or what her favorite combo #meal is.

But I do know that she was sitting in her car, all alone. I do know that she was demolishing down on some sort of large burger with the large fries on the dashboard. I do know that just by glancing at this woman sitting in her car that she was majorly obese.

Part of me started to cry for her. I wanted to stop my car and go over to her and ask her WHY?!?! WHY are you sitting here, alone, in a McDonald’s parking lot, eating alone?? WHY do you not love yourself?? WHY do you think you are not worth better??

I remembered, and seriously, I’m not just trying to bring up my Oprah moment here, but on the show I was on they talked to a woman who used to do just this…eat alone in her car. BINGE alone in her car. Was this woman in the same place in her life??

My heart truly felt for this woman.

But the truth of the matter is…I don’t know that woman’s story. Maybe she *doesn’t* frequent McDonalds often. Even though she had New York license plates, maybe she lived out of town and just wanted to grab something quick. Maybe this is just a little treat she does for herself every so often.

If I was so go sit alone in the parking lot, and eat my Grilled Southwest chicken salad in my car, under the golden arches…would people feel sorry for me?? Would they know that I’m a runner?? That I’ve lost 101 lbs?? That I *USED* to be a McChicken & McDouble & large fry kind of gal but now I’m a Grilled Southwest Chicken Salad lover who every couple of months will treat herself to small fry??

No, they don’t. Nobody who just crosses our paths for only a moment ever knows our true stories. Maybe, this day was just a real shitty day for that woman, and god knows we all have those…

Buffalo 1/2 Marathon Recap

2011-05-30T12:24:00.001-04:00

This was, without a doubt, my toughest race to date.

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you already know of my extreme sadness and disappointment with myself (a few of you even verbally kicked my ass & told me to shut the hell up, lol…thank you for that though. I needed it.). I let the tears flow a little and I may have punched a pillow or two, but I’m far wiser than to sit here and beat myself up about this race.

Because I did cross that finish line. And I did set a new PR.

Instead of listing paragraphs as to why this race sucked ass for me, I will list them for you.

So here were my issues with the course/environment:

The weather was pretty hot (hotter than I am used to right now) but it was HUMID!! Sure, we ran along Lake Erie and that felt wonderful, but that towards the beginning of the race, when it was still early and the sun wasn’t right on us. Come towards the middle and the end of the race when the humidity has risen extremely high and the sun is blasting down on us and we have like, oh I don’t know, 4 or 5 bridges to climb up…yeah. My post-asthmatic lungs don’t appreciate that at all.
Water stations…what water stations?? I think there were maybe 4 or 5…I don’t know. But it *really* wasn’t enough, especially on a day like that. Myself, along with other runners along the course kept yelling “can we get some fucking water?!” LOL. Thank god some of the locals brought their hoses out to spray us down with water. Many of us said that their simple act of kindness there was a lifesaver.
I brought my Ipod but left my headphones with Frankie…I try not to run any of my races with music anymore, especially bigger races like these because the crowds are what motivate me. That wasn’t the case this time. There were a few parts along the course where there was a big spectator crowd and their support was *amazing* but there were also a lot of dead-spots and I really could have used the music. I got lucky in Philly by finding a lady with whom to pace with and we would occasionally chat and cheer each other on during the “quiet” moments…I didn’t get that here.

So, now onto my personal issues. These are the ones (other than the weather) that really played into why I was so disappointed

Around mile 6 I hit “the wall”…and this was by far the biggest wall I have ever faced. I.wanted.to.quit! I kept thinking about how I would turn off the course so no one would see. I kept looking for a road where I could go and possibly know my way back. I kept telling myself “there’s no way you are finishing this one. Just give up now”…This wall lasted for about 2 miles, but I finally knocked it down. I just kept going…I kept thinking about all the people I would disappoint and about how disappointed I would be with myself.
Believe it or not, even with all the beer I drank, I was WAY over hydrated. I knew it the night before. My stomach looked like I was carrying a baby (and you can see it in some pictures…ewww). I was trying to be so cautious about not DEhydrating myself that I went overboard.
Of course I would start to feel sick!! And no, I’m not just talking about pre-race “oh no Im getting sick” feelings…Frankie has been sick with an awful cold for the past 2 weeks, and I woke up Saturday morning the same way he did when it first hit. My throat was sore, my nose was running, my energy was depleted. I ran right to the drug store next to the hotel and picked up some EMERGEN-C & starting downing that like a champ (another big factor in my over-hydration). I tooks naps on Saturday and didn’t do a whole lot of walking, but I could still feel the sluggishness. I’m still downing some EMEGEN-C packets today, trying to make it go away. It hasn’t gotten worse, yet. Hopefully I sweated most of it out!

And here is the single most thing that upset me the most:

I walked during the race…quite a few times…not for long, but there were quite a few “walking” moments. Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with walking during a race, but for me personally, I have *NEVER* walked in a race, big or small. When I hit my wall around mile 6, that was when I started to stop and walk for a bit. Yes, a lot of it was due to heat and the constant feeling like I was going to pass out (I kept throwing up in my mouth and had goose bumps the entire race…I was looking gorgeous!), but it was also because mentally I kept stopping myself. When it got to the last 2 miles in the race I would tell myself “OK Suzi, knock this shit off…no more walking!” aaaaaand then I would have to stop and walk a little more. I keep looking at my time and thinking “Jesus…what would it have been if I DIDN’T walk any of it”, but I know there’s absolutely no point in thinking about that nonsense. Maybe I walked for a reason. Maybe walking is what got me to cross that finish line. Maybe walking is what got me to not pass out & end up in the hospital. I don’t know.

I knew that I hadn't trained properly for this race, and I knew that it would be difficult, but I just didn’t foresee some of these events going down like they did. I knew I would have to kick my own ass many times throughout the course, and I guess when I push aside the nonsense I keep thinking about, I did do that.

My official chip time was 2:19:31 with an overall pace of 10:39. That’s a new PR for me by 12:15.

I ran the first 10K in 1:01:22 with a pace of 09:54…I started out the race by running around a 9:30ish pace, which is my normal pace as of lately. Of course though, I wasn’t able to keep that pace up for long. For the 20K I was at a disappointing 11:24 pace. But I finished with a pace of 10:37 so I guess I should stop complaining huh?? Oh yeah, and I stopped once to use the bathroom.

There are a lot of lessons to be learned from this race. The first one being that I never did give up, no matter how badly I wanted to. And another one being, is to focus on the positive. Life seems much easier sometimes if we just beat ourselves up and focus on the negative. I PR’d for christ sakes! Not *every* race will be an absolute great one, but they all contain some form of greatness. I’ll be stewing over all lessons for the next few weeks I am sure.

Maybe I got from this race exactly what I wanted….my passion back for running.

I want to take a moment to thank all of you for all your support and encouragement leading up to, during and after the race. It really means so much to me. A big shout out to the organizers of the Buffalo Marathon for putting on a smooth race (please though, more water stations next year!! And maybe add some gels/salt packets) and all of the wonderful volunteers and spectators.

An enormous thank you goes out to my sponsor, Generation UCAN, for all of their support and help with this race. I hope I was able to make you guys somewhat proud. Wearing your name on my back was an honor and knowing that I was representing you guys helped to get me across that finish line!

Now how about some pictures from race day….

These next 3 pictures are funny. They sum up a lot of the race, LOL…

I don’t have a finish-line picture thanks to some asshole who decided to take his shirt off just as Frankie as taking the picture of me. The official race photos should up soon though. I’ll have a full Buffalo-weekend recap with lots of pictures coming up soon :)

Throw it away!

2011-05-25T19:47:00.001-04:00

You know all those reasons you keep mentally piling up as to why you shouldn’t change your life for the better??

Throw them away!

All those excuses you keep making to put off a good sweat session (and no I don’t mean sex…or do I?? ;)…

Throw them away!

You know all those “Fat” clothes you keep in closet as a “reminder”….

Throw them away! (OK, don’t do that…give them to your local Salvation Army or something)

You know those diet pills you bought cause you were pretty sure that for $39.99 you would lose the 20 lbs you wanted to in JUST 2 WEEKS!!....

Throw that non-sense away!

You know all that negativity you keep thinking in your head…

Throw it away!

You know all those people you surround yourself with who are actually bad for you??

Throw them away! (I don’t literally mean this…please don’t do anything illegal here…but cut them out of your life)

You know all the doubt that you place on yourself all the time…

Throw it away!

You know all that Spandex you bought to “someday fit into”…

Throw that shit away because it doesn’t matter what size you are, you should NOT be wearing Spandex.

STOP filling your mind and your life with GARBAGE!! It is this kind of garbage that sometimes weighs the heaviest on ourselves.

Sometimes the trash stinks and it needs to be thrown out!! And just like actual garbage…you will need to take it out more than once. The negativity wont go away forever, you wont stop making excuses forever…but if you remind yourself to “take out the trash” now and again, it makes life a whole happier.

I encourage you all to go read this post from my buddy @theantijared….I read this shortly after writing this post and I feel like it’s the pea’s in my pod so please read… The Anti Jared - IF

OH and one last thing….You know that 6 pack of beer in your fridge that you are not drinking??

Don’t throw that away….drink it, or send it my way!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was Oprah’s final show. As many of you know, I recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show for her Ultimate Weight Loss Finale Show. While I didn’t go crazy with tears or get too much into the hype of today being her final show, I did tape it because, well…how could you really not?! If you’ve ever watched Oprah (which I did a lot with my mother in my younger years) then you *needed* to see this show.

Oprah said *A LOT* of amazing things. A lot of things that touched me and really got me thinking. The wheels are turning in my head….But the one thing she really reminded me of, is being grateful.

I am so grateful for all of you…here reading my blog, tweeting away with me, “liking” my posts…this journey wouldn’t be HALF of what it is with out all of you.

Today I was blessed enough to appear in my local newspaper The Post Standard (the online article version is not up yet, but as soon as it is, I will post a link ) to celebrate my weight loss, along with 4 other amazing Central New Yorkers. I feel so honored, and it is yet another blessing I feel so grateful to have.

These things do not just happen over night…they do not just fall onto your lap. I never in a million years would have dreamt or believed that all of this would be happening to me. I say it all the time and I will continue to say it again and again…thank you, thank you, thank you! If I inspire you just an ounce of how much you all inspire me, then I know I’m doing something right around here….

I’m the Britney Spears of Running

2011-05-22T14:41:00.001-04:00

This post is going to be sort of lame because I’m a huge dummy who AGAIN forgot to take any pictures. But whatever…I don’t want to over load all of you with my beauty and brilliance anyways.

Today was the Weight Watcher Walk-IT 5K Challenge. I met some of my Thursday night WW peeps down at the park at 10am. We had a very good turnout I would say!! It was great because we didn’t keep times or anything like that. I did go ahead of everyone to run and find the half way point so people knew where to turn around since we were looping.

Everyone got to do their own thing….run/walk, just run, just walk…people were just out there MOVING!!

I have to give a big shout to EVERYONE who showed up!! There were a lot of “well I’m slow but hey I did it”…You’re DAMN RIGHT YOU DID IT!! It doesn’t matter when you were done. All that mattered is that when you woke up this morning you had a choice….stay in bed and be a bum, or get out of bed and MOVE. You chose to move, so therefore, YOU WON!!

I have to give two very special shout-outs to my girls Kathy & Chrissy. Doing this 5K was a huge accomplishment for them and I seriously could not be prouder. Thank god I was wearing sunglasses so they couldn’t see the little tear shed in my eye. I ran back to catch up with both of them and make sure they were holding on strong and they were!! They sure didn’t need my encouragement…they were killing it all on their own . Congratulations ladies on being AWESOME!!

For the Weight Watcher Walk-IT I wore my special made WW Walk-IT t-shirt. Here’s a picture of the back:

I also my favorite new running skirt (pictured below) and my hot pink CEP compression socks (full review + a giveaway coming up soon!).

I didn’t time myself or keep track of my distance during the WW 5K because I did a lot of back and forth’s trying to meet up with everyone walking and again and cheer & encourage them along to the finish line. So I’m not really sure of my distance, but basically I did it twice.

But when I got home….I was inspired. Plus I had wanted to get in a few extra miles since it would be my last “long run” before the 1/2.

I decided to pull a Britney Spears and change into yet ANOTHER running outfit and go out for yet another run….

This time I ran in my gear that I will wear in next Sundays Buffalo 1/2 Marathon. Which of looked like this, but add some new blue Zensah calf sleeves I got recently from a raffle I won by Doug…

I went out for 3 miles. 3 very excruciating miles! It was around 1:00 and the sun was beaming down on me like a blanket. It was hot, humid and I was tired. I had to stop a few times (I wasn’t properly fueled and could tell I was pretty dehydrated) but I still ran all 3 miles at least.

So yeah…two runs…two outfits….double the amount of awesomeness!!

Congratulations again to ALL the Weight Watcher 5K Challenge walkers and runners!!

You know who you are…

2011-05-18T23:44:00.004-04:00

This isnt Weight Watcher related…
It’s not activity related…

This is me….Something I have needed to say for a long, LONG time…as I’m choosing to say it here…in front of everyone. For better or for worse…no regrets.

Thank you….Thank you for giving me the strength to run away from what I was too scared to run away from for so many years….you didn’t cause it…you didn’t even know you did it, but you gave me the strength I knew I had within me to stand up and believe in myself….

Thank you for making me think I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Thank you for providing me with a sense of fun that made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt for days.

Thank you for making me smile. God knows, you made me smile so much.

Thank you for being honest and telling me when I looked awful…I could have used you 101 lbs later LOL.

Thank you for giving me a sense of confidence I had never felt before.

Thank you for making me believe that life was bigger and better than it was…You made me want to keep going.

Thank you for giving me so many memories…ones that cannot be replaced or duplicated. They stay between us and I can only hope you think of them too sometimes.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful. I don’t think anything has compared. Thank you for making me feel like a woman. Thank you for making me feel strong. Thank you for making me feel like I could do this all on my own.

Love is not a word that should have been used between us…that’s immature. You were my best friend.

And I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I miss that sometimes. If I could tell you anything….I’d say… I miss that. I miss that kind of honesty that you gave me.

You also gave me hell. Watching you go away was *so* painful….fighting for you was painful…but as I know now…necessary. You gave me the best of both worlds…happiness and suffering….. :/You forever changed me….physically and mentally…

But our struggle gave me the best gift in the world…my connection with the love of my life…your friend.

You called it…every one called it before it actually happened….without you…without us…

Thank you.

You broke me into a thousand little piece…I broke myself into a million little pieces…

You have a whole new dimension opening up upon you and I am *SO* happy for you…and I wish you and your loved ones nothing but the best. Everything happens for a reason right…

So thank you .... but more importantly, I thank myself.

**Edit from Blog Author:
WOW...the response I got from this post was really amazing and very emotional for me. I worry about posting things like this sometimes, as they tend to stray from my general subject matter, but I am so glad that I chose to post this. In a way, it gave me a sense of closure that I really needed. It felt good to say these things, years later. Life is too short to hold onto negativity and anger. The truth will only set you free...its true, LOL. Thank you to everybody for being so kind to this post. It really means a lot to me.

Love is a battlefield & running is a mental game

2011-05-18T08:57:00.000-04:00

Love is a battlefield and running is a mental game....Both of those are absolute facts sometimes.

I got an email recently from a fabulous blog reader Christina...she told me a story where she said she was out running (well she said walk/jogging…I’m saying she was running damnit!) and how she was gasping for air, wanting to quit. But then she thought about me and well folks, how many damn times have I talked about gasping for air while running?? A LOT. But this kept her focused and motivated to keep going.

Here's a picture of her at her first ever finish line!!

WHOO HOO....GO CHRISTINA!!!

Of course I thanked Christina for thinking of me, and then I started to state that I could relate to her feeling of wanting to “stop” at that moment and here is what I wrote:

“When I have moments like that...moments where I cant breathe and I feel like I want to stop, I try to tell myself that its my body’s way of trying to pull tricks on me. With running, or any activity really where you are "pushing" yourself...its more of a mental game than it is a physical one. At least that’s how I find it to be for myself. A lot of the time when I end I run I often find it’s rarely because I'm "physically" exhausted....I'm just mentally exhausted”

And that my friends, is the gods honest truth!

As some of you know, I’ve been in a little running “funk” lately. Most of my runs have been around 3 miles…no long runs, no speed work, no PUSHING myself other than to get to the 3 miles because after my ½ marathon last year I started a mantra that anything less than 3 miles doesn’t count (Thanks Melanie!).

Writing back to Christina made me realize what’s been going on since winter…I’m letting my mind win & my body lose.

How many times do I go out there and actually stop running because of these reasons:

• My body *physically* has pains & hurts

• Weather is getting too hazardous

• Running out of time

• Got ran over by a zebra

I've actually met my distance or time goal

VERY, VERY infrequently.

Now….how many times do I stop running because of these reasons:

• I think my legs hurt

• I think my body is being taken over by snot

• I think I’m too tired

• I think I gotta get home and do “stuff”

• I think it’s too windy or cold out

• I think I don’t want to over do it

• I think I’m done

• I think there’s a zebra coming after me

• I think I’m thinking too much

95% of the time, I *THINK* myself into stopping my run. Rarely ever do I stop because I physically have to/should or because of time or any other elements beyond my own real control.

Running for me, is a mental game. It’s about mental strength. It’s about pushing past all the bullshit stuff I have running (ha ha ha) through my head telling me that I can’t keep doing it. I used to be good at pushing through the clutter, lately not so much. The problem is easy enough to detect and honestly, the solution is just as easy really….tell myself to knock it the fuck off and RUN!!!!!!

I love to run (eh)!! I *want* to run!! Stop sabotaging myself and my efforts and JUST DO IT!! As my dear friend *BitchCakes* loves to say, the only thing stopping you is you.

So next time you don’t want to work out or you want to quit, really ask yourself….
Whats the *real* reason why I'm stopping??

I’m news worthy baby!!

2011-05-15T12:30:00.001-04:00

(Since Blogger got all messed up last week, this post was wiped out. They said they were restoring all the posts but of course, mine wasn’t. So I’m just reposting because well, its that fucking awesome.)

A lot of you have asked me (especially my overseas friends) f you can catch the Oprah Weight Loss Finale show that I appeared on. Honestly, I don’t know what could have possibly taken priority over me, but whatever…I forgive you….Kind of…a little bit….whatever.

Unfortunately, I do not know of any place online where you can catch the show, or if that is even legal.

HOWEVER…our local news stations, WSYR News Channel 9 had a quick segment about my appearance on the show last night at 5:30 and then AGAIN at 10:00!!!

I had no idea that they were doing this!! So a big thank you goes out to my girl Kathy and my mom for alerting me about this. Seeing this filled me so much excitement & emotion. I feel so honored to have been mentioned like this. My only care and hope is that someone from my area saw it and it inspired something within them to make a positive and healthy change in their life!

So for those of you who couldn’t catch the show, you can at least see a little sneak peak, as well as my “reveal moment”…ENJOY!!

Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!!

2011-05-11T10:13:00.000-04:00

I am Generation UCAN!

2011-05-09T22:53:00.001-04:00

The comment I get a lot from my fabulous blog readers is that they appreciate my openness and honesty. This comment happens to be my favorite out of them all. I take a lot of pride in being myself and not holding anything back. That’s not always an easy thing to do, especially when there are people out in the world you would rather have think of you as dead, LOL. But, I have nothing to hide! I am proud of who I am and I am proud of what I have accomplished in my life…every part of it.

2011 has brought me many, *many* blessing’s in the area of being “spotlighted”. In February I went to NYC to do a photo shoot for Weight Watchers (sorry folks, still no updated word on that…it takes some time we were told). Then as most of you all know now, I was picked to be part of the 100 guests who lost over 100 pounds on The Oprah Winfrey Show for her last weight loss show ever. And soon will be featured in our local newspaper, The Post Standard…..

It all seems surreal and never in a million years did I think that any of this would be happening to me. Not a single thought about any of this “attention” crossed my mind when I first decided to start losing weight and get healthy. Never EVER! Even back then when I would see people in magazines or on TV talking about their weight loss, I figured they were paid for it or part of the company…..

Well let me just say, I’m not paid for ANY of this! (Though I would totally be lying if I said that I didn’t wish I was) Anything I’ve been asked to do or appear on has been because A.) I was lucky enough to be asked and B.) Because I accepted to promote such a great company/event/idea. That’s it. Nothing less. Nothing more.

So I’m proud to announce my recent blessing and that is my sponsorship with an amazing company called Generation UCAN, aka @GenUCAN….

Many of you are familiar with them already via Twitter and such, since they are spectacular with their Social Media skills. I became familiar with the company early in 2010. Some samples of their products were sent my way to try and I did. But certainly not before learning more about their company and what exactly their product is.

Now, I’m no scientist nor some sports nutritionist. So here is my answer as to what it is in my own dumb-terms…it’s a powdered mix you make that contains a totally unique and cool ingredient called SuperStarch. It helps you with energy, recovery and weight stability.

Here are the benefits I have found from it over the past year:
·    Energy! I don’t get too hyped up like I do with some energy gels and such.
·    Sustainability…my runs that happen when I’ve pre-fueled with a GenUCAN shake last must longer than when I have not. My body does not tire out as quickly.
·    Recovery with out a doubt! If I drink a packet of the Vanilla or the Chocolate after a run (or any hard workout for that matter) I am not nearly as sore or sluggish after the endorphins wear off.
·    Weight management…this is no lie! Now, I’m not going to sit here and say this product will make you lose weight, but it has been known to help me when I’ve over indulged. When I’m looking to “reboot” and “clean” my body again, I start my morning off with a shake and I really find it helps to make me feel like I’ve given my body the thing I’ve been neglecting to supply it with (um…nutrients and all that healthy stuff) and the scale gets a little happier again :) It also taps into my body's fat stores during exercise to provide me with extra fuel while giving me the lean body I've worked so hard to maintain. Props for that! Right?

So what does my sponsorship mean?? Will you guys have to hear about GenUCAN every time I post something?? Have I sold my soul to the devil and am now going to pressure all of you into buying some product??

Abso-Freaking-lutely NOT!!

My being sponsored with them means that I have an *amazing* team behind me and my goals for running and continuing to live a healthy lifestyle. With their help and support, they will be with me while I train to run my first ever FULL marathon!! I will be using their product on a continued basis during my training, as well as getting advice and support from their whole team. How freaking lucky am I?!?!

I can’t begin to express enough how honored I am to have such an amazing product, amazing company, amazing people, willing to support me. And knowing in my heart that I support them just as much in return really makes this the one of the best decisions I could make for myself.

So what part do I play in this?? Well I show my support and love for a company that I *truly want* to support and *truly do* love!! I will wear their t-shirts to help spread the word about their amazing product and I will be sure to let the world know how my marathon training is going and how their product is helping me along the way. I’m not paid to do any of this, and I get nothing special for it…I’m doing it simply because I truly believe in this product.

My legs look so short here, LOL:

And that folks, is why when I was sent samples over a year ago, I didn’t do a blog review or giveaway. Because something like this takes research and experimentation. Yes, I could have written up real quickly about how I noticed results fast, but that’s not me. I don’t look for super quick fixes in anything, because as many of us know, they never last. So I tried the products on and off for about a year and I noticed a big enough difference and found a strong desire to make GenUCAN a part of my daily routine. And in doing in that, I feel like it is appropriate for me to now share this with you, all my fabulous blog readers!

So I asked the kind people over at GenUCAN what I could do for YOU, my blog readers…something that wasn’t just a “review and giveaway”. I wanted to be able to showcase the product well, but be able to showcase my blog readers even better!!

Here are the details people:

We (myself and GenUCAN) want to hear YOUR 'UCAN' moment…Your moment of accomplishment….your moment of fear and breaking free from it….your moment of struggle and pushing past it! Your moment of listening to your gut when it says 'I can finish this and I will finish this!' We want to hear it!

All you have to do is send me your story…It doesn’t have to be crazy long (please no 10 page novels, LOL)…it could be something as simple as a single sentence, just tell me *your* UCAN moment….please email them to: SuziStorm@gmail.com. You have until midnight of May 17th to submit your stories.

Myself, along with GenUCAN, will pick the top 5 stories that we find best embody the UCAN spirit. Then we will let you, my readers, decide on the final 3 winners. A gold medal prize, a silver medal prize and a bronze medal prize will be awarded to the top 3. (lots of great UCAN goodies and more, details coming soon)

And because I have asked you to send me your story, I find it only fair to start my Generation UCAN new journey with my 'UCAN' moment….

Read me UCAN moment here!!

I am Suzi Storm and I am Generation UCAN!!

If there was no scale...

2011-05-09T11:50:00.000-04:00

Say some weird unexplainable event happened in the world and all the scales…digital or not…EXPLODED!!

There were no more scales for you to step on! Oh, the horror, THE HORROR!

Image

But seriously…What if there were no scales….

How would you know your weight in numbers?

How would you measure your overall fitness?

How would you tell that you maybe had one piece of cake too many?

How would you know when you hit “goal”?

Would you feel comfortable pulling out them short shorts?

Would you even dare to get into a bathing suit?

Would you still sign up for walking/running races or triathlons not knowing your actual weight?

How would you compare your success to others?

Would you be able to stop yourself from eating the entire bag of chips?

Would the definition of ‘being healthy change’ for you?

I feel that these are all valid questions, but they hint at the most important question of all…

How do *you* measure your overall health & fitness??

The scale is a piece of equipment…a tool if you will. Some people chose not to get on it at all (bless your hearts!) for whatever reasons and that suits them. Some people must get on it everyday. Others just get on it once a week, or maybe just once a month. It doesn’t matter how you use this tool, as long as you realize that there are other tools out there, even better ones, to measure your success and over all well being!

When I started Weight Watchers over 2 years ago, I got on just once a week. The closer I got to goal I got on everyday at home, and still do. I see the number fluctuate between 5 lbs on some days…I know the scale is just a TOOL to keep me focused and not go WAY off track, because as a Lifetime member now, weighing in just once a month is not enough for me.

But I use other things to measure my overall health. Such as:

• How my clothes fit & feel on my body

• How much activity I have done that week

• Have I tracked my food at all this week?

• How many “oops” meals did I have?

• Is my face really puffy?

• How do my rings feel on my fingers?

• How is my MENTAL health?

Everyone has their own tips, tricks and techniques. But I sure do hope that everyone knows that true success and true health CANNOT be measured on a scale!! You might weigh 115 lbs but that doesn’t exactly mean your healthy (hello…my teens!) and vice versa. There are *SO* many factors that play a part to your overall health!!

So if that scale has been pissing you off lately, I encourage you to give it the finger and take a real honest look at the overall picture and really measure your current situation based on ALL the factors…not just a digital one.

***************

I'm going to take a minute here to happily remind everyone about The Oprah Winfrey show (if you click that link you can see a preview of the show!) tomorrow! It's her 100 lbs lost weight loss finale show...the one that I was lucky enough to be asked to be a part of :)
It airs on ABC at 4:00 Eastern Standard Time (Im sorry...I dont know the other times). I hope everyone gets a chance to check it out & I hope I dont look like an uber goob for the hot couple seconds I'll be on there LOL.

To all my cuddle bears...

2011-05-04T10:17:00.000-04:00

All of you have changed my life forever…

You made me cry. You made me laugh. You made me smile brighter at times than maybe I ever have before.

You made me want to become a better person….and you *made* me a better person in many ways.

You showed me that I am on the right path in life, and I am forever grateful and comforted in knowing that you are all on the same path beside me.

Your energy and your spirit awakened my own.

Each and every one of you brought out something great inside of me. The one on one talks, the group conversations, the round table discussions…they all made me grow as a person and really examine myself.

So thank you…thanks to each and every single one of you, because you have forever changed my life. I couldn’t be happier or feel more blessed to be given the opportunity in getting to know all of you.

Thank you for opening up and letting me into your life. Thank you for sharing your stories. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for being *YOU*!!!!

There have been a few moments these past couple days back at home where I have felt sad and dare I even say a little empty. As corny as it may sound, I miss you all like WHOA!! I woke up Sunday morning looking for all of you at breakfast time (and I'm still waiting for the chefs to arrive to cook up those WW recipes...what the hell is taking them so long??).

But I know this is *NOT* the end of our journey together and that is what is helping to keep the sadness at bay. You have all become my friends…the kind of friends that you want in your life daily and want to share stories with and care about how their day is going. Many of us have connected to Facebook and some of us have even talked about meeting up again. Saturday, April 30th was not the last goodbye...it was the next step in us continuing to build a strong foundation together.

All 23 of us have built such a powerful force and we are all going to make *amazing* leaders and help to continue the strong growth and continued success of Weight Watchers!!

You are all my cuddle-bears….my one and only cuddle-bears!! I truly love each and every one of you!!

My only other question for all of you would be….
What would you like to have happen?? ;)

(Everybody, I promise to have recaps and pictures from Chicago & Boston up shortly...along with some other exciting news!)

Where in the world was Suzi??

2011-04-28T11:14:00.001-04:00

So if you follow me on Twitter and/or Facebook, you already know my secret “big news” since I quickly posted it between flights last night…

I had made sure when I found out about this amazing news to check and see if it was alright that I announced it to everyone, because I wanted to SCREAM it across the universe. Of course, they told me that unfortunately I had to wait till two things happened:

1.) It was taped

and

2.) The air date was set

Well folks…both of those things have happened so now I can share all my amazing news! Here is where I traveled to this past Tuesday:

(I have my own pictures, but they are not uploaded from my camera yet…and I’m currently stuck in an airport with no cable to upload them.)

CHICAGO!! The windy city as they say…and no shit people, there’s some real wind going on there!

And here is the reason *why* I went to Chicago….(drumroll please…….)

……………………..

……………..

……..

I’m going to be on The Oprah Winfrey show!!!!!!

Seriously people….OPRAH freaking WINFREY!!

This episode is her Weight Loss Finale show and I am *so* honored & blessed to be able to say that I was able to be part of it.

How did I get to be part of it you wonder?? Well I submitted my story a little while back and then the rest is unbelievable luck…

Now before everyone starts asking me for my autograph (I will take pictures & sign them for like $5) , I didn’t actually sit down and like *interview* with Oprah or anything. They chose 100 people who’ve lost 100 lbs or more to be part of this show and I was one of the lucky 100 that were chosen! They really did their best to showcase all of us though and I will *definitely* be on film. They put the 100 of in special separate sections and they did something special to show off our weight loss that I will hold back the details on until the show airs so you guys can see it….but it was *VERY* cool!

And just for the record, this wasn’t a “Weight Watcher” specific show or showcase. It was 100 people who’ve lost 100 lbs or more the healthy, natural way. And man oh man, what an *amazing* group of people we had there!!

So when can you see it??…..May 10th is the air date!

(And no, we didn’t get a car or like a million dollars or a crazy ass makeover…you’re going to have to watch the show to see if we got something!)

I will have a full report of my trip, along with pictures and details sometime next week.

As of right now, I am stuck in the Philadelphia airport waiting for my flight out to Boston. (I’ve literally been traveling in airports since Tuesday….I am beyond *exhausted*!)

The weather is awful here on east coast and my flight in from Syracuse was the bumpiest one yet (I’m probably jinxing this). How I managed not to barf all over the place is beyond me! Right now I’m on a standby flight which I most likely will not get on but if I don’t get on this 12:00 flight, I’m all set for the next one at 1:15 (I’m probably jinxing this too), which means I will be pretty late for the start of BLS (my Weight Watcher Leader training which I am attending for 3 days). Awesome.

The only positive lining I can find about my situation at this very moment….

the bar is open ;)

And to all a good night…

2011-04-24T21:49:00.001-04:00

So some of my new followers are probably thinking “what the fuck?? doesn’t she ever post??””

Yeah…sometimes, LOL.

The thing is…this week coming up is HUGE for me…huge is an understatement. I can’t share all of it right now (I know, I’m a tease…whatever…you’ll see soon enough). But I go to do something extraordinary right to going to BLS for Weight Watchers…that’s pretty much like Weight Watcher Camp for upcoming leaders.

Needless to say….

I have a lot of traveling to do in just 5 days. I have a lot of life changing experiences to discover in just 5 days….

If you’ve emailed me, messaged me of tweeted me in the past few days, I probably havent responded. I hate writing half thought out emails or tweets. If you send me a message, I want to sit down and really think about what I write to you…just know, that I am thankful and so appreciative, and I WILL get back to you!!

I am going to go unplugged for a few days…tomorrow just to spend time with Frankie since I get crazy homesick when I am away, and also because I need to clear my head….

But when I come back….it is on. On like Donkey Kong!!

So please sit tight my dears and know that I will be back soon. I know you guys will be sending me your love and support and I will carry that will me throughout all these trips.

xoxo-Suzi

Run Free on #watchlessmondays!

2011-04-18T10:18:00.000-04:00

The sun is out and shining brightly…
The birds are chirping a lovely song…
What a beautiful day for a run…

So you get your ass out of bed, you put on your running gear, “maybe some shorts today” you say to yourself. You lace up your sneakers, put on your RoadID, grab or iPod or Garmin and head out the door.

That first step you think “brrrrr”…not as warm as you thought. But you know that as you get going you’ll warm up. You find your favorite running track, you fire up your Nike+ or Garmin or portable satellite dish, hit START and off you go running….

Doooo deeee doo dee dooooo…ahhhh this feels great. Legs aren’t too stiff….Muscles are warming up nicely….the songs are rocking you along….

Laaaaa la lala laaaaaa lalaaaa la laaaaa (you apparently are listening to one of today’s current pop hits)….

You figure you’ve been running a good 5 minutes or so, at least a ½ a mile, so you decide to look at your fancy new age technical gadget to check your pace/distance….
WHAT THE F*%K?!?!?!? I’VE ONLY RAN .26 MILES AND APPARENTLY AT AN 11’13” PACE!!!!! NO F*!CKING WAY!!!!! THAT’S SOME BULLSH*T!!!!

F*%CK YOU NIKE+!!!!!!!! F******%%%%CK YOU!!!!!!!!

And at this point you may do some of the following:
• Throw the first thing you see, including your iPod or tracking device.
• Punch the first person you see right in the face (not recommended)
• Throw yourself into on coming traffic (also not recommended)

More than likely though, you will STOP running. You will get frustrated and you will get upset. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. I track my runs using the Nike+, and while it’s not awful, its not great. Some day’s it just doesn’t seem to be working. Now you may say “is it YOU that isn’t working??”…well maybe, but when I’m on the treadmill using the same settings, or even FASTER settings and I can physically FEEL myself pushing…wouldn’t it make sense for my pace to be quicker, not slower??

The point is…sometimes the quality of our runs really have nothing to do with pace, time or distance. Take the above example…that could have turned out to be one of your all time favorite runs, if you hadn’t checked that damn gadget.

So that’s why some of us have been inspired to start #watchlessmonday!! RUN FREE OF ALL TRACKING DEVICES ONE DAY A WEEK!!

It doesn’t have to be on Monday, it can be whichever day of the week you want. Just chose one day to go gadget free! For a great overall review of #watchlessmonday go check out Davids blog post all about it. This whole awesome idea was created by the brilliant minds on Twitter: @runningbecause, @ahealthydad, @262milejourney and yours truly @suzistorm.

You can also follow these awesome peeps over at their blogs:
Running Because I Can
A Healthy Dad
A Journey of 26.2 Miles Begins With A Blog

SO WHO'S WITH US?? Scared?? Good...you should be!! It wont be easy. It will be down right frustrating. But once you learn to let go, you begin to grow. This will not only give you added physical strength, but added mental strength as well. So again....WHO'S WITH US????

Program Alert!!

2011-04-17T13:22:00.001-04:00

Want to hear some shenanigans??

Well then come check me out, LIVE, on the ‘Geeks In Running Shoes’ show tonight where I have been asked to be a featured guest!! We are going live at 9 pm east coast time, 8 pm central, and sometime west coast…don’t ask me to convert it…up until this morning I thought it would be 7 pm my time. :/ The show last for an hour. An hour of me????? Can you handle that????

You can check out the show here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/geeks-in-running-shoes

I am *VERY* excited about this. We will talking about all sorts of things, and drinking, and talking, and drinking. I am so honored to be asked to do this. If you don’t already listen to this show, tonight is a great time to start cause those boys ROCK!

Now…Suzi, try not to get *too* drunk before 9pm tonight

5K it your way, On Weight Watcher Walk It Day!

2011-04-14T21:57:00.001-04:00

I came up with that blog title all by myself…I know…I am a freaking genius.

Incase you hadn't heard…dooms day is May 22nd, 2011…

I kid, I kid! IT’S THE WEIGHT WATCHERS 5K WALK IT DAY!!

Instead of using peer pressure to get all you kids into walking a 5K on May 22nd (what? you’re not already signed up? Hmmm…smells like loser all of a sudden :/ weird)…I am going to give you reasons why you might think to NOT participate in a 5K and then reasons why you should!!

5K fables and Foes:

You think you win 5K in dollar bills at the end
You think that walking a 5K is equivalent to walking the plank
You can be lazy for about 5K miles on my couch
You’d rather watch a 5K on TV
You can drink 5K (5 Kegs) faster than you can walk a 5K
You have 5 friends who are doing a 5K so I think I’m covered
5K? NO WAY JOSE!
5K’s are for those skinny, athletic people
As a baseball fan, you want no part in 5 strikeouts
I can’t even think my way to a 5K

5K Facts:

You can brag to all your coworkers “I did a 5K and you didn’t! Im awesome! You stink!”
There’s some pretty Tiffany inspired jewelry you get if you are a Weight Watcher member
You feel AWESOME when you cross that finish line!! Seriously…there's nothing better
You get to meet new people possibly! (they’re not that scary…I promise)
You get to not only GET support but GIVE support!
You earn AP’s baby! You burn those calories! You get to drink more beer later on!
You are allowed to celebrate with a beer after walking/running a 5K….it’s a rule.
All the cool kids are doing it…you don’t want to be “that” person do you??
You can’t think of 5000 reasons NOT to!
If your boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t do a 5K that day, you have a free pass from any house chores that day
I think you can put “5K” on your resume….somewhere...somehow
If you have a stupid friend with a lot of money you can bet them that you cant walk a 5K for 5K…hey, you never know

OK…enough kidding around…lets be honest…Weight Watchers 5K Walk It Day is not just about saying “I did a 5K”…it’s about getting out there and MOVING!! Don’t think you can walk a mile?? THAT’S OK!! Walk what you can… 1/4 mile, 1/2 a mile…IT DOESN’T MATTER!! You, showing up with your fellow members/friends is what matters. Their energy and support is what will bring you THAT much closer to being able to say “Hey! I just walked a 5K!”

Even if you show up just to cheer the other walkers on, or pass out water or refreshments…your presence makes a difference and you will feel that…it will inspire you…it will ENCOURAGE you!!

Don’t let the 5K be a burden to you. Don’t the 5K scare you. Let it encourage you…let it inspire you. Not 5K material yet?? That’s OK…just work towards getting there…MOVE, MOVE, MOVE MORE!

There is a woman in my meeting…her name is Sue…she is an amazing person. She comes each week with her daughter Chrissy who I love as well. They are what I call my “meeting rocks”…they’ve been there since day 1 and I when I see them, I want to cry cause they are a constant reminder of where I came from and who I am.

Walking a 5K is hard for Sue. Walking any long distance is hard for her. But last year…she came! (We had rain and thunder and lighting so the plans got foiled, but whatever…point being…she showed up!) Knowing that she was even WILLING to come out and support us, made us want to walk harder and faster! I think in some ways, we inspired her too…that’s why she came!! There are *SO* many benefits to showing up!!

YOU DON’T REALIZE THE POWER THAT YOU HAVE!!

Chrissy on the other hand….she’s had a 5K goal for 2 years now. I want to make it my personal goal and mission to make this happen, if she is on board with that. I can feel her passion, I can feel her desire…she is GOING TO do a 5K on May 22nd…even if I have to drag her across the finish line! As long as she is willing for the challenge…..??????

SO….what are YOU doing on May 22nd??

You are Special…

2011-04-12T23:21:00.001-04:00

“Why did you decide to lose weight?””….ummmm….because I weighed 252 lbs?!?!? It’s not rocket science…

I’m one of many…I’m one of THOUSANDS out there, especially online, who have lose weight. A lot of weight.

As special as I may feel, I’m not that special….online.

Everyone loses weight. Everyone works out. Everyone sets goals. Everyone meets their goals. Every wants to run. Everyone will run.

I’m not special online.

Everyone struggled…everyone has their own “roadblock”….everyone has their own “fight”…and everyone will win their own “battle”…so I’m not that special online.

You sent me a tweet….it made me feel special.

You sent me a direct message…it made me feel special.

You wanted to send me something…it made me feel special.

THEN….

you see someone else get all the same things!! You hear/see the same talk…”oh we love you… you’re great…what an influence….”

All of a sudden… you’re not special…online….anymore…

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Have you lost 100 lbs???? Have you lost 50 lbs???? Have you lost 20 lbs???? Have you lost 5 lbs????

If so, then you are my hero!!

This is not high school…what is the average age of most healthy living bloggers anyways?? C’mon!!

You don’t need to participate in any #fitblog #sheblog #blogher #blogit #beerit (what?) #iblog #youblog #webblog #mymomblogs #yourmomblogs #yourmomsmomblogs #youstink

YOU ARE SPECIAL!! YOU ARE WORTHY!!

I am not trying to downplay any of these *awesome* associations…I’m just saying….

YOU ARE SPECIAL….YOU ARE UNIQUE…YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND…

DON’T LET ANYONE…EVER….TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU!!

2011 American Heart Association Run

2011-04-10T21:02:00.001-04:00

Last year, I ran the in the American Hear Association Run…I ran in mostly in the honor of my father who died of a heart attack at the age of 34. You can read all about the race here.

I have decided to go ahead and run again this year, but this time I am running it completely in the honor of my neighbor, Beth Borrowman, who passed away too soon of a heart attack on March 17th, 2011. Beth was such a great lady. She’s the mother to my friend Tara (who is also my neighbor…they lived together) and my other neighbor Iggy (are you confused yet??) along with another daughter, son and many beloved grandchildren. She will be severely missed by her family and friends.

Beth had such a jovial personality and she was always fun to talk to. She was the only one in the neighborhood who actually gave a shit about my tomato plants. Working on my garden this year wont be the same. I miss seeing her in the mornings and having her wish Frank & I a good day…I miss coming home from a run and having her ask how far I went today. She may have only lived next door for a couple of years, but it was a joy seeing her everyday.

I will be running the 5 miles again, and while this isn't a chip timed race or anything, I still want to try and do my best. I will use this race as a good training run. It’s been awhile since I’ve raced (Halloween I believe) and I need to get that rush back before my 1/2 marathon in May.

Last year I raised $100….this year I would *LOVE* to raise $200. I know that’s a lot of money, especially to raise in just a week, but I will try. If I could even reach $100 I would be happy.

I know that times are tough, and money is tight for everyone, but if there is any way what so ever that you could contribute, it would be *SO* appreciated. Unfortunately, they have a poor setup and I think the minimum online donation amount is $25…but as much as I hate asking for stuff like this, it’s a cause I feel is worthy of begging for.

If you can and would like to donate, please go here to help donate towards this amazing organization and that helps to save hundreds of lives.

Let me also take a quick moment to remind everyone how important heart health is!! We don’t just eat right and exercise to look and feel good…we do it for our HEALTH! Not smoking, getting some cardio in, practicing healthy eating habits…those are just some of the ways we can help to reduce our risk of heart disease.

Thank you so much in advance.

Not every day…

2011-04-08T22:57:00.002-04:00

Not every day starts out great. Not every day starts out spectacular. Not every day turns out like you expected. Not every day will be great.

Everything happens for a reason.

Some day's you will believe this, other days you will not. But try your damn hardest to remember…not every day will be great.

You may wake up recharged and full of VROOM, VROOM! You may wake up and say “This is the day I take back control!!”…

But then…something happens. Something small like someone refilling the candy basket at work, or something big like learning the ill news of a dear friend….

Not every day will be great.

You may be on a streak, a long one or a short one but a streak none the less. A streak of greatness and empowerment. A streak that makes you feel like you are the king of the castle and NOTHING…I mean NOTHING can stop you…
But then someone just makes one comment or one remark…and your streak comes to a sudden halt.

Not every day will be great.

You will get on that scale and it will be your best friend. But you get on it the next day, and well...

Not every day will be great.

You will track all the way up until dinner. Not every day will be great.

You will get to the gym a few times but skip your favorite class. Not every day will be great.

You say you will just have a few chips, but then the bag is gone. Not every day will be great.

You will say to yourself….I’VE LOST 101 (insert your own weight loss here) LBS GODDAMNIT !! But still…

Not every day will be great.

You will fuck up. You will fall. You will slip. You will stumble. That is how it goes. That is what makes us stronger and that is what makes us FIGHTERS! The minute you think you will be perfect is the minute you take the road towards failure.

Many days you will wake up saying “this day will great!” and hopefully, if you are lucky and work hard, 85% of them will be…but just remember something very, *VERY* important…

Not ever day will be great.

But that is OK.

I’m still a runner…

2011-04-06T21:05:00.001-04:00

Even if I…

Don’t know what the BQ (Boston Qualifying) time is for my age bracket.
Don’t care what the BQ time is for my age bracket.
Thought that BQ was short for a Boston Dairy Queen for the longest time.
Take a week off cause I just don’t feel like running damnit!
Don’t have a HR monitor.
Thought HR only stood for Human Resources and wondered what they could do for my running??
Sometimes think that poking myself with a scalding fork sounds like more fun than going for a run.
Refuse to run in anything below 30 degrees.
Don’t log 100 miles a week,
Don’t plan my vacations around races.
Don’t know what a Fartlek is but it sure makes me giggle!
Don’t understand what 3 X 400’s and 4 X 600’s mean…I’m not a mathematician for Christ sake!
Hate “training plans” and refuse to follow them.
Think the RunKeeper app sucks ass.
Don’t sit down at the beginning of the year and make my race schedule.
I skip a couple long runs.
I don’t get “the runs” on my runs.
Stop to walk every now and then because it just feels good!
Have never taken an ice bath, or plan to…EVER!
Don’t run as many races as I want simply for the fact that I can’t afford them.
Am pretty sure that drinking beer & eating Cool Ranch Doritos WHILE I’m running would improve my speed!
Saw this commercial and almost went and bought some…

Can it really make me go that fast??

See runners out running in –10 temperatures and snowing and think “suckers!”.
Don’t have the word “Run” “Running” or “Runner” in my Twitter name.
Don’t get asked by companies to review & giveaway their running-related products (though I’m not against it!).
Don’t weigh 120 lbs & wear what looks like a bikini while I run.
Use Nike+ to track my distance & pace….no matter how angry it makes me!
Never get a chance to run the NYC Marathon, Boston Marathon or other Big City Marathon.
Wont lose sleep if I never get a chance to run the NYC Marathon, Boston Marathon or other Big City Marathon.
Think that the NYC Marathon is way cooler than the Boston Marathon.
Occasionally run in cotton instead of moisture wicking.
Don’t have the latest & greatest running gear & gadgets.
Become best friends with the treadmill some months.
Don’t place in the top anything at one of my races.
Don’t run further than my friend on Twitter or DailyMile did this week.

OK…you get my point. Of course, not every one of those bullets up there pertain to me but they bring me to this very valid point…

If you run…you are a runner. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what you wear, what you carry with you, or where you’re running. If you get up and get running YOU ARE A RUNNER! Don’t over think it!

It’s my personal belief that unless you are a professional athlete and actually run for a living (think Ryan Hall, Kara Goucher), that you have absolutely NO right to judge other runners in the least bit!

Don’t worry about how others run. Don’t worry about what other runners have. Just get out there AND RUN FOR YOURSELF!!

There was a quote recently on Twitter that really sparked this blog post. So often I see people say “I ONLY ran 2 miles” or “It took me 12 minutes to run almost a mile…ugh!”…Sure, I get that way too, but we have to remember that when we go out to run, there is so much more going on there than just the physical aspect of running. Running means so much more than the movement of putting one foot in front of another. Here’s the quote I’m talking about…

Then, there was this quote today by the genius Bart Yasso and I sums it all up….

OK, just one more beer...

If you just *smile*….

How I Became a “Believer”

Some is better than none

Dear @k8thulu …

Just a moment…

Believe

2011

Merry Christmas

'Tis the Season

To be Thankful…

The right fit?

California Dreamin’

My 1 year WW Goal-A-Versary!!

Just One Day

Confessions from the couch

Greetings from LA!!

Where you came from…

More Marathon Tidbits & the giveaway winner!!

I am a Marathoner!!

There better be beer at the end of this...

CEP is my savior…let me save YOU!!

Hello Autumn

September 19th

Remember The Time…

13.1 to 26.2

Back to Basics

Things I can control

It’s a beautiful day…

The day I chose the darkside…

Things I don’t want to / can’t be…

If I had…

Honesty with yourself

In honor of Pele–A Giveaway

Struggling with Struggles

The Power of Poetry

Dear Wonder Down Under, I am so sorry...

There’s no such thing as enough free beer…

No expectations

A day at the beach…

I have ALL the answers…

White Lies

Starting Over

I know what I did last Summer.

It's not my time

What I ate yesterday

More never before seen "before"

Why I’d NEVER quit!!

Under pressure…

The Golden Arches

Buffalo 1/2 Marathon Recap

Throw it away!

I’m the Britney Spears of Running

You know who you are…

Love is a battlefield & running is a mental game

I’m news worthy baby!!

Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!!

I am Generation UCAN!

If there was no scale...

To all my cuddle bears...

Where in the world was Suzi??

And to all a good night…

Run Free on #watchlessmondays!

Program Alert!!

5K it your way, On Weight Watcher Walk It Day!

You are Special…

2011 American Heart Association Run

Not every day…

I’m still a runner…

If you just smile….