Refusing to feel defeated

6 comments
The other day I went to Target to get some coffee and like any good shopper with zero money to spend I went the long way so I could circle the entire store and torture myself with all the things I couldn’t afford to buy. It completely slipped my mind as to what “holiday” is approaching and how lovely Target dedicates an entire corner of their store to these holidays.

I was stopped dead in my tracks. There is was. Like someone had one too many Cosmopolitans and vomited all in the corner. VALENTINES DAY.

I stood there frozen in time for probably a good 5 minutes. At the edge of an end cap by the “New Year, New You!” workout gear. I was peering at this red and pink section and could not seem to take my eyes off of it.

Many of you know that Valentine’s Day was a big “holiday” for Frank and me. I’ve written many blog posts over the years about how we would skip things like Christmas and birthdays and go all out on this day. I would get a fancy dressed and we would throw down some major green on a really nice dinner. Valentine’s Day was also the day he proposed to me. As cliche as it was, it was our special day.

Prior to him it was never a big day for me either way. Sure flowers are nice and a little extra attention is always appreciated. But it was never one I got mad or sad about if I didn’t have a valentine and it wasn’t a holiday where I had any real expectations.

So what do I do now? How do I feel about February 14th? Where do I go from here?
Well I can do a couple of things. I can become bitter. I can be angry. I can be resentful. I can also be sad and feel sorry for myself. I can curse the day and be like many single ladies and call BS on that day.

Or I can choose to persevere. I can choose to not give up hope. I can remain optimistic and accept that I was lucky enough to have many wonderful Valentine’s Day with an amazing man, but that doesn’t mean I will never have any more amazing Valentine's.  I will not be defeated. I will not lose hope.

As I stood there staring at all the Valentine’s Day delights like Michael Myers eyeing down Jamie Lee Curtis behind some fresh white sheets blowing in the breeze, I decided to not become that first person. I will not become jaded or cynical. It's so easy to do but I just won't. I won’t bash that day or trash love. Maybe I won’t have a special Valentine this year and that’s OK, because I can love myself a little extra that day. And McDonald's is taking reservations this year so this is just proof that the path I’ve chosen is the correct one for me.   

6 comments:

  1. Love this post! You should still get dressed up and do something nice--I remember seeing at least a couple of posts of your Valentine's dress in the past and I always thought it was so fancy, to get dressed up in a killer dress to celebrate.

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  2. Love and hugs to you, Suzi.

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  3. Be your own Valentine! Love yourself, unlike Valentine's candy, that lasts a lifetime. :)

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  4. I'm so happy you're blogging again! I've followed you for a long time but never really commented (I'm not a creeper, I swear! Ha!) I really enjoy your writing. You're real & funny as hell!
    I totally relate to this post-I've been single for a while & always have to figure out how I'm going to navigate V Day. This year consisted of treating myself to a bath bomb, pizza, & American Horror Story on Netflix. Ha!
    Anyway, glad you're back & looking forward to reading more!

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