Once upon a time…


Once upon a time…

I updated this damn blog.

But before all of that…

Once upon a time…

I was a girl, who wasn’t comfortable in her skin.

I was a girl who wanted better in her life.

Then I became a girl, who opened her life for all to see.

No hiding, No shame. No secrets.

Years prior I kept closed, not because of my weight, but because of personal reasons…then…

I let all doors open.

And while I was excited. It terrified me,

but I let myself bleed.

I lost weight….I hit goal…I hit lifetime….BAM!!!!!



And here I am… 30-40 lbs heavier…feeling lost every day.

Maybe I have fucked up. Maybe my story being shared with Weight Watchers will end. Maybe you wont see me on TV, in a magazine, or in your mail. Maybe I really did blow it all.

But….I’d say that is lying because I didn’t  blow it all.

Blowing it all would be giving up. It would be quitting, And I REFUSE TO QUIT!!

I am still a Weight Watchers member and will be until the day I die. I will never quit. I will never give up.  Even at our highest, we tend to fall. I WILL get back up.

This is a journey. It is a lifestyle. It doesn’t happen over night. It doesn’t happen in a year.

Seriously…this blog needs to lighten the fuck up.

Stay tuned…..


  1. Happy to see a blog update and hoping all is well! Keep us posted. I feel your pain and hope things get better for ya.

  2. I feel your pain.

    The fact that you are still here and still a WW member speaks volumes. You will never quit and never give up for the rest of your life. If you gain back 100 lbs, you will lose it again.

    Last year at this time I had lost 70 lbs and was 7 POUNDS from goal. SEVEN POUNDS!!!! Over the past year I have creeped up little by little, even though I kept going to meetings I wasn't following the plan. I kept thinking that eventually I'd get back on track...

    So one week I was at my weekly meeting and I realized that I was up almost THIRTY POUNDS from last year at this time. So, I'm still down about 40 from my heaviest weight but geez, what happened? I don't know... So you know what I did? I decided I was gonna start back on plan again. So, I did. In the past two weeks, I can see a difference already in the way I look and the way that my clothes fit. I am down 6.6 over the past two weeks and I registered for a 1/2 marathon to get my butt in gear. (I used to run every day this time last year, as of two weeks ago, I hadn't ran in about three months). So I just decided I was gonna do it. I did it once, and I'm doing it again. It's astonishing how well the program works when you just do it. And you know, it's a habit. As easily as you fell off, you can fall right back on. You do it for a week, and you're back again eating the WW way.

    You can do it Suzi, I know you can. You did it once. When you're ready to get back on it again, you will. You just have to be in the right place and right mindset. The stars will align again and you'll do it. Just stay a member regardless of whether you are gaining. Eventually something will speak to you and you will recommit. You don't ever ever give up. Don't drown. The water will creep up high, but it won't drown you because you will fight to breathe, maybe you'll tread water for a while, but you'll start swimming again.

    We will never, ever ever give up.

  3. Come on Suzi, you can totally do this.

    We're all rooting for you ! :-D

  4. Even if you doubt yourself, you inspire us. It's not about getting to goal, but about how we manage this as a way of life, and life has a lot of ups and downs--there's no way to just get there and stay without facing the occasional challenge. But you're in there working on it, and that, to me, is a great thing! I'm 4 months on maintenance, and I find myself doing all the things that you write about--like trying to game the plan, trying to fit my old habits into my plan (which means I sometimes eat poorly in order to fit in my vices)--and I listen to your wisdom. Keep moving forward, even if it sometimes feels like backward, because you ARE moving forward. Hang in there!

  5. You know you got this. You didn't get where you are by sheer luck. You got there because you worked your ass off literally.

    I love you and am continually proud.


  6. Hang in there. I wasn't on Oprah or a WW success story but I'm a former Lifetime member who's back at meetings again because of a 30 pound gain. There I said it, I haven't told anyone the number until now. It's so hard, isn't it? We can do it.

    1. that picture of me is old ... duh.

  7. Ups and downs are part of life. I know you'll get back up, in fact you already are!!! And I know you'll reach your goal again and feel amazing again. Soon, for that last one. All it takes is moving in the right direction. Hugs and kudos to you for your consistent honesty and your general awesomeness

  8. We all have been there Suzi. Lot's of hugs. You've helped us, what can we do to help you?

  9. You are such a hero to me. Thank you so much for posting this. Thank you So much. Me too - Life time member - have gained back 30 - Love this post... Love it. Thank you so much.

  10. Never give up! I'm rooting for you.

  11. So happy to see your post! Come on, you can do this!!!

  12. I totally get it. Let's do the damn thing!!!

  13. Funny how things work. I have been struggling, as we do, and thought that I would check on weight loss blogs I have gathered so that I would, hopefully, re-energize and get on some track to the right thing for me and here you are. You have blogged the best pep talk in the universe and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so right. This is a journey. I quit smoking years ago and it took years to do it. Try and fail and try again. Each time I thought I had it knocked and yet....but finally, somehow it clicked. I pray that this weight thing, food thing, exercise thing will work the same way. We don't know if we don't keep trying. Thank you and believe me you have a ton of support out here.

  14. your honesty is what keeps me reading. i am sorry for your struggle, i wish this was easy! but we both know it is a struggle every day . i like to reflect on my ww leaders words when i feel defeated: being fat is hard , losing weight is hard , keeping weight off is hard . nothing is easy. pick your "hard" . chin up missy! your mojo will return :) no one is perfect and as you have said giving up is not an option. i am living the dream too ( down 80 lbs and 120lbs to go for me!)

  15. Just remember, one day at a time. You don't have to be perfect, just focus on your Daily Points Target each day. I know you can do it! We have all been there.

  16. Glad to see a couple of posts from you this week. Please write more. Your honesty will keep you focused, and will make the blogging world more fun too.

  17. It seems this is par for our course right now. I blogged abou the same issue today.
    Back to basics for me and tracking and everything. I know it works, now it is just making sure I do the work.
    Hugz hang in there!!!!


    Failure lies not in falling down. Failure lies in not getting up.

  19. It is nice to hear that you opened and you are doing one step to the time. But I really like to read your blog.


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