Thursday, May 10, 2012

Weighing In

Tonight I am going back to my Thursday night Weight Watchers meeting. The same one I have been attending for almost 4 years.
Tonight I am weighing in for the first time in a month.

Tonight the scales will be up. They will be up a significant amount. No not 101 lbs up, not even half of that or close to that. But they will up and it won’t be pretty. (I’m estimating 15-20)

And I don’t care. Because I'm moving away from treating myself poorly.

Tonight I am weighing in for me, and only for me. The same reason I used to get on the scales weekly. I’m not weighing in because it’s corporate policy. I’m not weighing in because of maintaining Lifetime status.

I am weighing in for me.

It is time to put myself first again. It’s time to stop being so serious. It’s time to stop feeling ashamed and embarrassed. It’s time to take back control. It's time really be *me* again.

And because I know myself and I know what I have learned from Weight Watchers…I do not want to turn 15-20 into 35-40, and 55-60 and 75-80 and 95-100.

I love myself and I deserve the best!!

So tonight I will be brave!! Tonight I will stand with my head up high and accept that I made poor choices. I will accept that the past is the past and I can’t do anything about it….but change my present.

I am ready to move forward. I am ready to start tracking again, moving again, and making smart choices again. I am ready to be the me I have forgotten to be these past few months.


Tonight I am weighing in for me, and only for me. I am awesome.

23 comments:

  1. You certainly ARE awesome!

    I know you're not doing this for anyone but yourself (and so you should), but you should know that you continue to be an inspiration to people like me who sometimes feels like I've failed and is very tempted to skip weigh-ins, etc.

    Rather than being embarrassed and ashamed and all of those things that hold me down and keep me locked into a self-sabotaging mindset, I am going to think of you taking this very brave step, tonight.

    I think that this sort of resiliency adds to your being a success story. Because the story doesn't just end suddenly on that day that a person reaches goal weight, or lifetime, or what-have-you. It takes a daily commitment to oneself and one's health. And seeing you stand tall and reclaim your health and well-being is nothing but amazing.

    Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing the reality that you are experiencing right now.

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  2. Good luck, Suzi! You're going to continue to be awesome. :)

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  3. Why would you be embarrassed for being human? Being human means struggling at times, and that's okay because it helps us appreciate when things are good. At least, that's what I tell myself.

    Ultimately, I think what's important is you love yourself and appreciate your awesomeness, no matter what. :)

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  4. I just wanted to share with you that i've been following your blog for a couple years, and you've inspired me to join WW again after a couple failed attempts in years past. I admire you sharing with all of us, the fact that we are all human and all have slip ups and you are making a choice to stick with the program and get back on track. You are an inspiration! And I know I will succeed with my attempts to get healthier because of you! Thank you! Good Luck!

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  5. Roxy - New Brunswick, CanadaMay 10, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    I have never commented before but I have been reading for a loooong time. I guess that makes me a "lurker" but a huge fan, too! :) I just wanted to say, thank you for this post. I *just* rejoined WW Online again today after a few month (5) hiatus and gain (around 20ish). You saying you were doing it for you is so true and that you don't care because you are done with treating yourself poorly is exactly what I was feeling today. I had enough so I signed up and recommitted to myself, no one else.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I admire your strength and courage to be a voice for so many of us. I find your honesty so inspiring.

    I am ready again, too. It feels comforting to know you are "starting" again tonight as well.

    Thank you. You are awesome.

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  6. I want you to know that you have been a huge inspiration to me. You ARE awesome, and you are taking care of YOU which is most important. I <3 your blog, and I read it all the time to know that other people have lost 100 pounds and still live life. Thank you so much for this! I have *almost* read the whole thing!

    You got this!!!!

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  7. Melinda in CanadaMay 10, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    Yay! I, too, am a longtime admirer - and lurker! And I, too, am very recently back on track after sitting over my goal by 20lbs (and being full of self-loathing for it)for many months. Let's all forgive ourselves for those poor choices past. Let's recognize them, learn from them, and move on!

    I was sick this week, which blew, but the down-time gave me a chance to read your, I mean, David Kirchhoff's book cover to cover (or whatever that is when it's on a kindle!). That man has some shiz sorted out. After nearly three years on maintenance, I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that this will never be easy. If I want to feel as good as I do at goal, I am going to have to work at it. Forever. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Because I'm worth it.

    Thank you for writing the good, and the bad. **You. Are. A. ROCKSTAR!!** xo from Canada

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  8. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post - I am an ex WW leader from Syracuse, Dewitt, and I have seen you speak in person and you have always inspired me. I have been so off lately, for a few months, and I contacted instantly to your post. I think I have about 15 to drop too. Thank you Thank you for being so wonderfully honest.

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  9. You are truly AMAZING. Kudos to you. You ARE worth it!

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  10. Yes you are awesome! WTG. I wish that I were able to be in your meeting and grab some inspiration. Cause I let 10-15lbs turn to 30-40lbs. I need to restart and thanks for keeping us posted.

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  11. You are so brave and amazing.
    Its great to hear that you are going for yourself and even though it may be scary you are able to know that if you don't go the scale may continue to get bigger.
    You are wonderful and such a inspiration!
    xx

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  12. congratulations!! way to be brave :)

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  13. You're awesome indeed !

    It's good to read from you !

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  14. Good for you..today is a new day and you are most definitely awesome! :)

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  15. I love you to pieces dont worry i aint no crazy freak love love love beer have to quit beer not learn moderation all or nothing for me its a struggle i no alcoholic i lose a few lbs and get cocky

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  16. I've moved from a 'dieting' perspective to an 'intuitive eating' one - well, I'm trying and have just started. I did agree though to participate in another blogger's May challenge. Someone left a comment on my blog querying why I was doing it given that I'm aiming to remove that focus from my life. BUT... I said I was doing it as it was for 'me'. I was only accountable to myself. The blogger running the challenge wasn't going to judge me and it was quite informal - so I don't feel threatened at all.

    So - long story short - I guess I'm saying I can kinda understand what you are saying when you say you are getting weighed ONLY for yourself!

    Keep up the great work!

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  17. I'm so glad that you are making a new start! You can do this girl.

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  18. No matter what, it's gonna be ok. No matter what weight you are you're still you and nobody can take that away. I know it's hard, but you did it once, you can do it again! You're worth it!

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  19. Suzi where are you? I hope you are doing fine and all is well OP!

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  20. I have only recently been following your blog and am interested in your story as I returned to WW at the same time after a few months away. Its been a month - just wondering how you go on with it.

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