Just a moment…

I’m not going to lie….I’ve been living in this “new” body of mine for over a year. The thoughts of the “old” me don’t really arise very often.  I mean don’t get me wrong, I remember everything bout how I looked and felt as the old me.  I do have pictures here on this blog which I check every day every week. 

But 95% of the time, I try to spend my time focusing on the present, fabulous me.  Because who want’s to dwell in the past right??

But sometimes I have just a moment…

A moment where I see my former self…A moment where my mind flashes with all the tears, the yelling, the pounding, the hate…I remember vividly how I felt back then.

And then I think about where I am today.

And all of a sudden my heart begins to flutter and my eyes swell with tears.

I never, NEVER imagined I would be where I am today. 

When I first walked (back) into a Weight Watchers meeting, I never thought I would even hit my goal weight, let alone become a face in their commercials and campaigns.

I never thought I would be able to sit here and say “I did it!!”  I’ve maintained my weight for over a year!! Sure, the holidays did a little damage, but its nothing that I’m not working hard at fixing.  This time, unlike so many times BEFORE WW, I am AWARE and I choosing to IMPROVE, not DAMAGE.

I never thought I would be able to sit here and say, “I am a Lifetime Weight Watcher member and a Weight Watcher Success Story”!!

But I can…because I never gave up on myself…I never stopped believing in myself or my goals.  Sure, I doubted them sometimes, but I never quit.

Sometimes I think to myself “holy F*ng Sh*t Ball F*ck!!!!”

When I heard that the theme was ‘Believe” I started to tear up (as did a lot of us who are in the ad) because it hit me like a ton of bricks…BELIEVE…it’s all you have to do!!

If you Believe in yourself, you can do anything.

Everyone always asks me…”how did you do it?” “what was the thing that got you going?”

I don’t have an answer for any of that…all I can say is that I walked into that meeting and I BELIEVED that I wanted to be there and I BELIEVED that I wanted to CHANGE my life…so I did…and so here I sit…

In part of the commercial we say “I am you, and you are me…”

I can’t think of a more honest line.

I am no better than any of you, and you are no better than me. We are one. One amazing group of individuals wanting, willing and BELIEVING in changing our lives.  Together we can, and we WILL do this.

We will make 2012 an amazing year…we will continue to grow and better ourselves.  Why??

Because we BELIEVE!!

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to ABC between 10-11pm EST to watch Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin’ Eve to catch the new Weight Watcher commercial. Feel free to raise your glasses (or beer bottles) and have a toast with me!!

Every one, please, have a very safe and VERY HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!

Let’s ROCK 2012!!!!

Believe

So you see, I had this pretty lame witty idea for a blog post to kind of announce finally what I did in LA.

First I would tell you to go visit this link: Mysterious Link #1

Then I would tell you to go see this link as well: Mysterious Link #2

Also I would alert you to pick up the newest issue of Weight Watchers magazine with Jennifer Hudson on the cover.  As well the January 9th issues of In Touch, Us Weekly and Life & Style.

I would warn you to keep an eye out for this in your local Weight Watchers store:

And last but not least, I would tell you to tune in on New Years Eve to watch Dick Clarks Rockin’ New Years Eve show from 10-11, because that is when the commercial is airing.

But you see, Weight Watchers kind of killed my clever blog post by releasing this (when you click the link, look for the ‘Group Believe’…also a small glance of me during my photo shoot in Jennifer’s Behind The Scenes video) ….

Believe

Once the commercial actually airs, I will do a more in depth post.

There will be more to witness from all of this too, but I don’t even really know what that will be myself so I guess I will be surprised along with the rest of you!!

I believe that my 2012 is getting off to an *AMAZING* start!!

2011

Here it is…the “2011 summed up” post…blah blah blah. 

In 2010 I blogged about all the stuff I wanted to achieve in 2011.

Little did I know that I would achieve all of that and then some.
This year I managed to maintain my weight…probably the thing I should be the most proud of.  Of course, there were (are) some ups and downs. I had (have) my moments of defeat and moments of success.  The important part is that I’ve stayed aware of my well being, and I have continued to go to my Weight Watcher meetings.

But 2011 also brought many, MANY surprises.  It was without a doubt one of the best years of my life.

I got to go to NYC and not only do a photo shoot for a Weight Watcher success story, but I also got to meet some good friends in NYC.

While doing my leader training for Weight Watchers, I got to attend their BLS training in Boston and meet some of the best people I have ever know.

I was selected to be one of Oprah’s 100 people who’ve lost 100 or more in her finale weight loss show.
I ran my very first marathon.

Then I went to LA….

LA is, without a doubt, the work I am most proud of.  I never gave up on the dream that this could happen. I knew it, deep down inside, that this is what I was meant to do. Inspire others. Make others *Believe* in themselves.

I also met some amazing people in LA…many of which are a daily part of my life today.  I have a whole new family, and that has been the best gift of all.

After my marathon in October, I was starting to get down on myself. 2011 was so great…was 2012 going to be a huge downer??  I mean, SERIOUSLY…how is 2012 going to out do 2011?!?!
2012 may not out do 2011. But something tells me that it is going to be a FANTASTIC year!! I will and I can make it one!!

In 2012 I hope to…

• Maintain my weight…keep going to my WW meetings and keep being aware of what I am putting into my body
• Continue my career with WW. I took a pause earlier this year, but I am back & trained & ready to inspire!!
• I want to race less…I know this seems like a weird “goal” but last year just felt so pushed. I want to find races I love or do something on the spur the moment.  I’m over training, planning, down-to-the-T running. I’m going to run when I want to run & I’m going to love it, damnit!

I really got nothing else because I mean seriously…how can I top all that?!?!

…but something tells me there is a Storm a brewing….a good storm…a SUZI STORM!!

And don’t worry…my next post will have the clues to what all this LA business is about.  Some of you may know already, or have guessed, but the cat (or lion as some have said) will be let out of the bag soon enough.




Last but not least, I have to say thank you to you ALL.  Thank you for your support, your comments, your encouragement, your love...without that, I wouldn't be where I am today. I brought each and every one of you along with me on these amazing rides.  I can't wait to bond further & meet new, amazing people in the year(s) ahead. XOXO  
*CHEERS* to an amazing year, and to another great year ahead!!

Merry Christmas

I just want to take a moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful safe & happy holiday!!

Remember to be merry & share this magical time with loved ones…eat without (too) much guilt…and throw back a few cold ones ;)

My Christmas present to all of you is that I will finally be revealing what I did in LA…..

 

very, very soon. ;D 

xoxo

'Tis the Season

It’s been a little bit since I’ve blogged. It feels like every time I would sit down these past couple of weeks to write, nothing came out. Idea’s would come and go but nothing ever stayed with me long enough to get it down. I’ve always gone by the rule that if I don’t feel passionate about what I am posting, then I’d rather post nothing. I’m not an “every day” blogger because I don’t have the time to do that (nor am I that creative). I work 2 jobs and have a family, a house and myself to take care of.


As I think about that last sentence, I realize all of it is true & is what has kept me from blogging the past 2 weeks…except for one part…taking care of myself.

I have not been taking care of myself. At all. Not one bit.

I’ve said “yes” to the cookies. I’ve said “give me all your cheese & chips & dips”. I’ve said “Ok, just one more beer” about 12 times a night.

I’ve said “I’ll work out tomorrow”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will track”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will make better choices”.

Well the tomorrow’s have come and gone and here I am…Still treating myself like I have committed a crime.

The 7 lb gain on the scale is not what scares me. Fuck, that didn’t even jump start me into getting back on track. That just made me head to Wendy’s for a W burger & grab some more beer.

It’s the clothes that don’t fit right, the look on my face, the way I carry myself, the things I think about myself, that scares me.

The weight will come off. That doesn’t worry me. What worries me is the pattern I’ve slipped into and how hard I’m finding it to save myself from drowning in it.

But then I tell myself…’Tis the Season!! In a way, I feel like that’s an excuse, but you know what…it’s kind of a legit one. Temptation is all around, and unlike last year, I’ve given in WAY more…but it happens. My Activity Points earned on a weekly basis have been 0…but it happens.

This weather is depressing. We barely see any sunshine. I go into work in the dark. I get out of work in the dark. Depressing!!

The thing is, I know that you can survive the holiday season without all this negativity and weight gain. I’ve done it in the past!! Last year, on December 23rd I made Lifetime with Weight Watchers!! It *CAN* be done. I guess this year…I just jumped ship.

One would think that I would be on top of my game right now. In just a few short days everything that I worked SO hard for and one of the proudest moments in my life will be revealed. I would want to look my best and feel my best right??

Right.

But I do not.

So I can do one of two things. I can stop this pity party, smack myself in the face & get back to treating myself, my mind and my body, like it deserves to be treated. I know that by doing this that it will lead me back to happiness. Or I could just stay on this train and head into a major wreck.

I am choosing to be happy. I am letting go of all the negativity. I am letting go of all the bad choices. I am letting go of all the regrets.

I am moving forward. I am making a pledge to be more mindful of my choices. I am tracking. I am moving my body. I am forgiving.

Sometimes we don’t have “perfect” days, weeks or even months. In my case, it’s felt like a few months. It’s realizing the issues and being able to forgive yourself and move on that reminds us how we really do love ourselves & want the best health we can give ourselves. No amount of holiday treats can take that away from us.

Do not ever give up on yourself.