'Tis the Season

18 comments
It’s been a little bit since I’ve blogged. It feels like every time I would sit down these past couple of weeks to write, nothing came out. Idea’s would come and go but nothing ever stayed with me long enough to get it down. I’ve always gone by the rule that if I don’t feel passionate about what I am posting, then I’d rather post nothing. I’m not an “every day” blogger because I don’t have the time to do that (nor am I that creative). I work 2 jobs and have a family, a house and myself to take care of.


As I think about that last sentence, I realize all of it is true & is what has kept me from blogging the past 2 weeks…except for one part…taking care of myself.

I have not been taking care of myself. At all. Not one bit.

I’ve said “yes” to the cookies. I’ve said “give me all your cheese & chips & dips”. I’ve said “Ok, just one more beer” about 12 times a night.

I’ve said “I’ll work out tomorrow”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will track”. I’ve said “tomorrow I will make better choices”.

Well the tomorrow’s have come and gone and here I am…Still treating myself like I have committed a crime.

The 7 lb gain on the scale is not what scares me. Fuck, that didn’t even jump start me into getting back on track. That just made me head to Wendy’s for a W burger & grab some more beer.

It’s the clothes that don’t fit right, the look on my face, the way I carry myself, the things I think about myself, that scares me.

The weight will come off. That doesn’t worry me. What worries me is the pattern I’ve slipped into and how hard I’m finding it to save myself from drowning in it.

But then I tell myself…’Tis the Season!! In a way, I feel like that’s an excuse, but you know what…it’s kind of a legit one. Temptation is all around, and unlike last year, I’ve given in WAY more…but it happens. My Activity Points earned on a weekly basis have been 0…but it happens.

This weather is depressing. We barely see any sunshine. I go into work in the dark. I get out of work in the dark. Depressing!!

The thing is, I know that you can survive the holiday season without all this negativity and weight gain. I’ve done it in the past!! Last year, on December 23rd I made Lifetime with Weight Watchers!! It *CAN* be done. I guess this year…I just jumped ship.

One would think that I would be on top of my game right now. In just a few short days everything that I worked SO hard for and one of the proudest moments in my life will be revealed. I would want to look my best and feel my best right??

Right.

But I do not.

So I can do one of two things. I can stop this pity party, smack myself in the face & get back to treating myself, my mind and my body, like it deserves to be treated. I know that by doing this that it will lead me back to happiness. Or I could just stay on this train and head into a major wreck.

I am choosing to be happy. I am letting go of all the negativity. I am letting go of all the bad choices. I am letting go of all the regrets.

I am moving forward. I am making a pledge to be more mindful of my choices. I am tracking. I am moving my body. I am forgiving.

Sometimes we don’t have “perfect” days, weeks or even months. In my case, it’s felt like a few months. It’s realizing the issues and being able to forgive yourself and move on that reminds us how we really do love ourselves & want the best health we can give ourselves. No amount of holiday treats can take that away from us.

Do not ever give up on yourself.

18 comments:

  1. Same here sister, except my weight gain is 12lbs of so. I have made the decision to make the right choices when I can, eat healthy when I can, exercise when I can, at least until January. The holidays are such a busy time filled with food and temptation, but I won't give up.

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  2. Suz - you are so strong for putting this out there. Today is a new day, right?! That is the WW mantra. You ARE doing good things for yourself by taking the time to acknowledge how you feel and choosing to feel differently. You are a wonder woman!

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  3. Once again you have done it. You've pulled exactly what has been going through my mind out, and given me hope, and a release from the negative.

    xoxo

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  4. Choosing to be happy... that sounds perfect!

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  5. Ahhh....yes....I too am coming of the stupor that I have been in for about 15-18 months. Yes, I gained back everything I lost, but I will lose it again, because this time, there are other elements involved, other than the drop on the scale. Good for you - I'm right here with you!

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  6. Wow, I could have written every word of this myself. Been going through the same thing. THANK YOU for writing this post, especially this:

    "It’s realizing the issues and being able to forgive yourself and move on that reminds us how we really do love ourselves & want the best health we can give ourselves. No amount of holiday treats can take that away from us. "

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  7. I've been seeing the scale move upward even though my choices haven't been terrible and I've been exercising more than normal the past two weeks. So frustrating!

    It's good to know I'm not alone in this. We can get through it and yes, we deserve to give our minds and bodies what they need!

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  8. Suz,

    I think every WW on the planet (unless they are Polly Perfect) can relate to this roller coaster ride - especially thru 'lifetime'. You hit it on the head with the last paragraph and that has been my mantra during rough times.

    And lets face it. You like beer, I like martinis - W burgers, cookies and everything in between is gonna happen every so often - it's always gonna be a part of our lives - this ebb and flow.

    We can choose to beat ourselves up about it - or choose to accept it as part of life and then usher it out the door and start anew.

    There's no shame in falling as long as we keep getting back up.

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  9. hmph, were you at my weigh in this morning? I was in a "I don't give a fuck, I'll weigh in with my shoes too" mood. It blew. Everyone goes through these periods but what counts is getting past them. You've done it before and will do it again. Lot's of hugs.

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  10. it's a rough time of year to be getting back on track. I know because I am trying too. I gave up a little because I wasn't seeing results...but what I saw myself doing was not healthy. I started hating the way I looked...and calling myself FAT. an additional 10-15 lbs doesn't make me FAT, just made me feel like the old me....I'm stopping it before all 75lbs comes back. :)

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  11. go get your bad self together and get a run in. no excuses, no looking back at last week. just do it! (thanks, nike)

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  12. Hang in there Suzi! Glad that you are getting back on track. Tomorrow is another day and another chance for a fresh start!

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  13. Suzi: yessssss. Just had a very holiday-filled weekend, you could say and MAN, was I on the negativity train last night. Feels better to be back on track today, but it's not easy to let go of that negativity. So nice to hear I'm not alone.

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  14. I need to make a similar choice. Let go, be happy, move on. And for gods sake put the fork down. I'm getting there. Glad you are!

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  15. You are an inspiration in "success" and in times like these, which are also successful because you're learning and growing as you uncover new aspects of yourself to understand. Your honesty more than anything shows your true colors. Hang in there! I think that we all need fallow times to make the rest of it mean more and make more sense.

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  16. You are strong and will get back on track when it is right for you. I know I have lapsed and that makes me run more - weird, right? I figure lapse away as long as you do something.

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  17. Good for you for recognizing where you were headed and getting back on track. It's so easy to fall off the bandwagon but SO hard to get back on. Keep it up. This is the time of year when we need that accountability most!! Happy holidays! Great blog, btw!

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  18. Thank you sooo much for this post. I am reading it on Christmas night, totally bloated and wracked with guilt, but reading how you didn't beat up on yourself for going a bit nuts at this time of year was a revelation.

    Thank you as always Suzi, hope you had a great Christmas.

    Love, Christina

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