I cannot control everything in life.
I cannot control the actions and words of others.
I cannot control where my finances lay at this moment in time. (Seriously, cannot)
I cannot control where other *feel* I stand in my job. (Don’t even get me started here)
It’s too late to control how I did not prepare for my upcoming first full marathon. (I havent even ran over 13.2 miles yet)
It’s too late to go back 8-9 years and change where I went to college. (Yes folks, I am college edumacated & have one of them there fancy paper thangs)
What can I control??
I can control *ME*!!
I can control the little things (some big things) in life that make me happy.
I can start to track my food again!! Because lets face it, I haven’t done that properly in months.
I can start to work out regularly again!! Because lets face it, I’ve been slacking off ever since my love for running became to feel like a chore (that’s a whole other post that will publish this weekend).
I can take that horrible (I mean god awful) old mattress that we have been sleeping on this week (we had to throw the pillow top that we had on top of this old piece of shit out last weeked) and control its comfort to some level by putting 3 sleeping bags, 2 comforters and 2 sheets on it so I don’t wake up in tears every night from hip/neck/shoulder pains.
I can control my attitude and drive about the marathon. Instead of thinking I “cant” or that I “failed” I can start to believe that I *CAN* (UCAN baby!!) and I *WILL*!! Sure, I may not have a stellar finish time and I may have to walk a lot of it, but hey, it’s my first marathon. I should just have fun and enjoy the experience. And honestly…get it the hell over with so I can get back to running for me.
I can control my behaviors by maybe spending more time with friends, reading a book, working on that beer blog that I was supposed to launch last month, answering emails (which I am SO behind on, but they make me so happy to get), stuff like that….instead of walking in the door from work and grabbing a beer…and another one…and another one…..and another…and, well…you know.
Some things in life you cannot control at all. Some things in life become out of your control. These past two weeks I’ve felt like my house, my job and even my relationships were in severe jeopardy. And in some ways, some of those still are (not my relationship really, but money problems add major stress to a relationship). I will still sit here and feel like I am having a heart attack 96% of the time until things get back in order, BUT…
I can control a few things…a few things that are just for ME….a few things that have brought me to where I am today, physically and mentally strong…I can control the little things that bring me a few slices of happiness in my day. And in a world of chaos, that can mean a lot.
I'm sorry for the lack of posting. Many of you know, things have been very upside down for me the past 2 weeks. I promise to get some posts out soon!! In the meantime, we went to a wedding this past weekend and I think it's the first time I ever went to a wedding and was not over weight (minus being a kid). So that part cheered me up some!! Here are The Frank and I all dollied up...
|Frankie, looking like a criminal as always ;)|