Sometimes, no matter how badly you want something, it just isn’t your time.
And when it is *YOU* that has to come to that realization, it can be very, very difficult.
This is something I have been thinking about for weeks (OK, well over a month really) and it was something that only I could decide for myself.
I have decided that is it not my time to become a Weight Watcher leader.
Why you ask??
Because it is my personal belief that if your heart & mind are not 100% connected, then why do it??
I became a Lifetime Weight Watcher on December 23rd 2010. Nothing but a week later, I was hired to be an employee, followed by doing a Success Story shoot for Weight Watchers, followed by going to Oprah, followed by newspaper appearances and such. All the while, trying to train for my job as a Leader…work on my running…work my full time job…take care of my house…take care of my family…take care of myself.
I haven’t had time to just BE.
Be Suzi…be a Weight Watcher lifetime member…be a runner…be just a normal girl who is trying to learn about the new body she has made for herself.
I'm not saying I have this crazy, glamous, rock star life because I really do not. But when you go from an obese chick who never liked to leave her house & go out in public, to where I am today...it can be a lot to take in. Again as I have said before, not that I am not grateful for all these experiences. I mean, they are AMAZING and I look forward to hopefully more to come.
Do I want to inspire others?? OF COURSE!! Hell, that’s what I try to do everyday, especially here on this blog. Really, it’s the only reason I *do* blog. But sometimes I feel so mentally exhausted that my desire to go and inspire people on a weekly basis is just not stimulating to me right now. And that’s not fair to my fellow staff or especially to the amazing members walking through that door each week.
This is a really hard decision for me, because I really do want to be a leader so badly. But I have to be honest about how I feel right now. I need to take some time out to inspire *myself* for a little while.
So, that is what I hope to do this summer….work on my running and training for the full marathon in October. October is also when I will reach my 10 month’s at Lifetime and as long as I keep weighing at goal (knock on wood), I get another little celebration key!! Spend this summer actually LOVING my body instead of hiding it from the sunshine & world…learning to be more comfortable in my own skin.
I will revisit the leader role around mid-fall/winter and see how I feel. There is no need to rush any of this, as my amazing bosses have reassured me. I just need to be honest with myself, and I truly do believe that right now at this very moment, this position is not for me....yet.
In the meantime I’m just looking forward to being me, without so much pressure.
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