You know who you are…

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This isnt Weight Watcher related…
It’s not activity related…

This is me….Something I have needed to say for a long, LONG time…as I’m choosing to say it here…in front of everyone. For better or for worse…no regrets.

Thank you….Thank you for giving me the strength to run away from what I was too scared to run away from for so many years….you didn’t cause it…you didn’t even know you did it, but you gave me the strength I knew I had within me to stand up and believe in myself…. 

Thank you for making me think I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Thank you for providing me with a sense of fun that made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt for days.

Thank you for making me smile.  God knows, you made me smile so much.

Thank you for being honest and telling me when I looked awful…I could have used you 101 lbs later LOL.

Thank you for giving me a sense of confidence I had never felt before.

Thank you for making me believe that life was bigger and better than it was…You made me want to keep going.

Thank you for giving me so many memories…ones that cannot be replaced or duplicated.  They stay between us and I can only hope you think of them too sometimes.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful.  I don’t think anything has compared.  Thank you for making me feel like a woman.  Thank you for making me feel strong.  Thank you for making me feel like I could do this all on my own. 

Love is not a word that should have been used between us…that’s immature. You were my best friend. 

And I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I miss that sometimes.   If I  could tell you anything….I’d say… I miss that.  I miss that kind of honesty that you gave me. 

You also gave me hell.  Watching you go away was *so* painful….fighting for you was painful…but as I know now…necessary.  You gave me the best of both worlds…happiness and suffering….. :/You forever changed me….physically and mentally…

But our struggle gave me the best gift in the world…my connection with the love of my life…your friend. 

You called it…every one called it before it actually happened….without you…without us…

Thank you.

You broke me into a thousand little piece…I broke myself into a million little pieces…

You have a whole new dimension opening up upon you and I am *SO* happy for you…and I wish you and your loved ones nothing but the best.  Everything happens for a reason right…

So thank you .... but more importantly, I thank myself.
emerald-city6

**Edit from Blog Author:
WOW...the response I got from this post was really amazing and very emotional for me.  I worry about posting things like this sometimes, as they tend to stray from my general subject matter, but I am so glad that I chose to post this. In a way, it gave me a sense of closure that I really needed.  It felt good to say these things, years later.  Life is too short to hold onto negativity and anger.  The truth will only set you free...its true, LOL.  Thank you to everybody for being so kind to this post.  It really means a lot to me.

5 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful, wistful post.

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  2. Wpw what a post! Is this about your current boyfriend? I hope not you seem really happy. :) I hope all is well

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  3. No, this post isnt about my current boyfriend...I am *really* happy where I am right now (and thank you for noticing!) :)

    But it is the experience I went through that I'm talking about in this post that lead me to where I am today...but instead of feeling anger & resentment towards the situation, I have grown into feeling thankful and understanding.

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  4. We have those moments, when what hurts the most turns out to be the best possible outcome. Thank you for sharing this. I am sure we have all had similar thoughts at one time or another. The "thousand little pieces" is especially poignant. I reminds me of a previous girlfriend. She had a similar experience, where that boyfriend hoped to break her and pick only the pieces he wanted to keep, discarding the rest. The unwanted bits of her. Life doesn't work that way. Fortunately.

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  5. What am amazing post!!! Thank you so much for sharing part of yourself with us. I love your blog!

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