Sorry but no, this is not a blog post dedicated to the awesomeness of Guns n’ Roses amazing debut album, though believe me, I could go on and on about how bad ass that album is.
I was originally writing a blog post about movement and what motivates us to move more, based on this weeks Weight Watcher topic to, you guessed it, MOVE MORE! However though, things took a little bit of a change and I wanted to post this one first.
I’ve been bit by the blues bug! Why Suzi? How come Suzi? You’re on top of the world right now Suzi? Yes, I guess in ways I am, but if you’ve been following me for a while now, you know that I am notorious for screwing with my own progress. I can’t tell you how many times I was only 1 or 2 lbs away from hitting another weight loss milestone, only to go on a binge and then be 5-6 lbs away.
I’ve talked about this a bit before, and how there is definitely some deep down psychological nonsense going on here as to why we do this to ourselves. I know I am not alone here! (Right? Please?) Once we feel like we are on top of the world, we somehow manage to take a few extra steps back.
Anticipation for the Weight Watchers photo shoot, hitting 101 lbs lost, getting the new job with Weight Watchers, fitting into a size small dress from Victoria Secrets…I have *SO* many things to be thankful for right now and believe me, I am without a doubt VERY thankful for all of them.
So then why did I manage to eat 2…yes, count them, TWO bricks of cheese this weekend?? Why have I managed to bring bottles of wine into my life on a more regular basis again?? Why did I order that sub WITH OIL?? Why did I eat an entire tub (albeit a regular size one, not a large one) of hummus (damn you Sabra!)?? And then the next night eat almost 1/2 a container of french onion dip??
I don’t know why I did these things or made these choices. BUT I do know one thing and that is that I cannot undo what I did. I have no magical time machine that will take me back and make me think twice. I acted on impulse and without care. Maybe I just didn’t want to be a “weight watcher” for a few days. Maybe I wanted to seem like someone who hasn’t ever had to watch their weight or watch what they eat. Either way, whats done is done.
So here I sit, feeling like shit. The scale is not my friend right now, but I know better than to manage how I feel based on what that thing says! What matters is how I *physically* feel. My stomach has been killing me and I feel like I have a bag of rocks in it. I don’t have that same glow in my face and I feel yucky in my clothes. I feel depressed and tired and like I’m full of garbage. All of this hit me head on like an awful crash.
But I will tell myself what I have told so many others…It is what it is! Face it, accept it and MOVE ON! Today was a brand new day and while mentally I may still be feeling a bit yucky, physically I am starting to feel a bit better. I have tracked today and measured and weight out all of my food. I got lots of extra H2O in and have a healthy dinner of rotisserie chicken, baked potato & roasted asparagus in store for me.
My right Achilles (ankle) has been bothering me for almost two weeks now. I havent been on a run since last Monday and I am pretty sure that has played a major role into all of this. Just goes to show you how important activity and movement in your life can be!! However, my ankle is feeling a bit better today, but I was smart and am keeping up with the icing and compressing. Maybe tomorrow or Friday I can do a couple miles on the treadmill. I hope :/
Enough with the debbi-downer stuff though….Here are some good things…..
- I got all my Weight Watchers employment paperwork & sent it all back out. I am officially a Weight Watchers employee now! I will start my training within the next week!
- My photo shoot for the Weight Watchers success story will take place this month! I am more excited about this than I can even put in words. I cant wait to share this journey with all of you!
- This Saturday is the annual BrewFest!! I plan on doing a whole post about this afterwards. This is pretty much the only time of year I drink “real” beer and a lot of my family comes into town to go. It’s a big to-do for all of us. If you remember from last year, I won the Triple Atomic Chicken Wing Challenge at Quaker, Steak & Lube afterwards. (however in my drunken state, I only asked to do the atomic but realized a few weeks later that they gave me the triple)
- I got my hair trimmed this week. I know I will have stylists and stuff in NYC for the photo shoot but I wanted to get my ends trimmed at least. I havent had a cut since before my 1/2 marathon…(please note, I had to get up at 7:00 am, didn’t go to bed until 2:00 am…I’m also not wearing any makeup so I apologize for the blah!)
- And then there is the crazy exciting news about this years Valentines Day dress. For those of you who don’t know, Valentines Day is a big deal for Frankie and I. Each year we go out and spend a lot of money on each other and together. You can read about last year here. Ordering my dress for Valentines Day has kind of become an event all on its own. This years dress comes from Victoria Secrets and is a size SMALL. Here’s a pic of it (in rough draft form of course…I wont be rocking the ace bandage & my hair & makeup will be done LOL)
Well, thank you for listening to me bitch and whine. I know this feeling of “blah” will pass. Sometimes, we just need to feel “the low” so we can remember how awesome “the high” feels. I may not learn right away why I do this to myself, but I come away a little stronger and wiser each time.