Browns the new black…or something like that?

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First off…my WW meeting was tonight and I’m happy to say that I was down 1.2 lbs!!  Go me!!  I’m now 13.4 lbs away from goal.  That’s crazy!!  Tonight’s meeting was all about change.  I think I am going to save some of that for a blog post I want to try and post this weekend. 

So this week I did two great things to change my body that were not weight or fitness related.  These were purely cosmetic changes and for me, changes that night do not happen often at all. 

I know that most of you saw my previous post about my new tribute tattoo to my beloved cat Pele.  I just want to say a *huge* thank you to all of you who commented and shared your stories of your little furry loved ones.  I appreciate all of those comments more than you know.  Many of them made me cry (in good ways) but one thing is for sure…ALL of them gave me comfort and helped to heal even more.  So thank you all *SO* much again.  You are all truly the best!!

Well I told you that I had another surprise in store and I do!  The surprise doesn't come of so “OMG! I can’t believe you did that!” in your face but believe me, it was a gigantic step for me.  One that I am *very* happy that I took.
A little back-story…..I have had every hair color under the sun.  In my younger “punk” days I went on the manic panic wagon and had purple, blue, pink, fire engine red.  Then in more more hippie “hey lets go smoke dude” days I went with a brown/red combo, to just a natural Irish red.  You name it…I had it.
Except one color….blonde.

The one time I did try to go blond??  Well I was about 13 years old and my hair dresser at the time decided to process the living shit out of my hair.  So much in fact that my hair actually FELL OUT!!  Yes…I was bald.  Well, all except for a little peach fuzz & these awful looking orange bangs that managed to not completely break off.  It was a horrible and traumatizing experience. 

Once my hair grew back in and my tastes “darkened” you could say, I (personally) dyed my hair black.  I used Clairol Nice & Easy Natural Blue Black #124 and it was love at first sight.  On me it doesn't come out with a blue hue (personally, I can’t stand blue-black hair…at least on me anyways) but more like a very deep, rich black.  The color against my cool Irish skin tone and crazy blue-grey-green eyes just seem to mix so well together.  Come to find out…my 100% Irish great grandmother used to dye her hair the same exact color!  How cool is that right??  Anyways, I haven't changed it since.  My hair has forever since been black.

The past couple of years though I have been thinking about getting highlights done.  I even tried once WAY long ago with a home kit but it came out awful and I dyed it all black again.  I had talked about this with my hair dresser Jeannie, whom I love and trust dearly.  A few years back we talked about putting in red-ish / maroon-ish highlights, but my hair was so long and so unhealthy that it just wasn't really possible.

Well now that I have chopped a lot of my hair off, it is A LOT healthier.  Plus it just looks fabulous now LOL.  I finally decided that it was time for a bit of a change though, so 7 weeks ago I made the appointment to add in highlights. 

We decided to go with a brown-hue.  I feel it looks more natural and feels more mature.  As my dear friend Kim said…maybe the maroon could have been pulled off years ago, but it doesn't match the woman I am now.  I’m not *that* person all the time.  The brown feels more like me, if that makes any sense.

Now….the change is not drastic.  And as a matter of fact, almost no one said anything to me today at work, or at my WW meeting.  But it is there, and in natural light and especially outside, you can really see it.  I *LOVE* it!!  The reason the highlights are more sparse and naturally places is because we were not sure if my hair would even lift the black out.  Mind you…some of this black has been on there for years at this point.  She didn't want to do bigger sections and end up for spots that would lift and ruin the whole thing.

I’m *so* happy to say that the black did lift…actually way better and much faster than we expected.  And actually, we already set up the appointment to put the larger, more bolder (and noticeable) chunks towards the front half of my hair.  Only 6 more weeks till that's done and I can NOT wait!!

So here are some pictures I took today of it out in the sun….
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I don't think I will ever part with my #124…in fact I will be using it again when its time to touch up roots (man…this highlighting stuff sure is going to require more skill and patience LOL), but it’s nice to add a little change every now and then. 

Sometimes it’s the things we change off the scale that can really help to make us feel better.  By me doing this, I feel as though I am finally starting to accept and love the person I have become on this journey.  This is the woman I want to be and I *love* it!!

I guess it’s just another great new thing to add to the great new me!!   :)
xoxo

Pele

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Sorry that I have been a little MIA the past few days.  Things have been kind of crazy in the household.  It seems like it’s been one thing after another. 

I hope everyone had a great weekend.  I know I did!!  I had a “real” burger…with “real” mayo & “real” cheese & “real” bacon.  I don’t regret one single bite of it.  It was delicious and I knew that I deserved it.  I’ve only had a chance to work out twice this week so hopefully it wont hurt me that badly when it comes to my WI Thursday night.

Another great thing I did this weekend was run a 5K for the Central New York SPCA.  I managed to collect $50 from some of my fellow animal lovers and it felt great to be able to contribute.  Also I broke a PR at this 5K.  There was no official chip-timing at this race but the time that Frankie clocked & the race sponsors clock all matched and I came in at 30:43!!  My last 5K was 32:11.  Also I did this with a slight hangover so GO ME!! LOL

Speaking of the SPCA, I want to share with you something I did today after work.  This is something I have been thinking of doing for many months now but I couldn't really gather up the courage to get it done yet.  The SPCA gave me a special gift in 2008…

Photo-0116That was my beloved baby girl Pele.  And no…she is not named after the soccer player, she is named after the Volcano Goddess in Hawaii. 

She was in my life for 12 amazing years.  She was a Halloween baby!!  Halloween was always my favorite holiday so that fact made our bond even stronger. ;-)

I got her at a time in my life when I was told that having children would be very difficult, if not just plain impossible.  Also I was quite young but was already pretty sure that having children was just nothing something in my deck of cards. 

Pele became my child.  I talked to her like she was my kid, disciplined her when she was my kid, she annoyed the crap out of me like she was my kid….do I sound absolutely nuts yet?? 

Here she is with her red bear….the red bear was the first Christmas Present I ever bought her and whenever I would leave the house she would carry the red bear in her mouth and cry.  Also, the red bear had to be where ever we were at all times.  And if the red bear got dirty…well it took a bath in the water bowl of course!

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Did I mention she was HUGE??  All 16 pounds of her. 

She also had these huge beautiful eyes that just crushed my heart every time I looked into them…

PelefaceOn August 3rd 2009 she unfortunately had to be put down right away.  It was all very sudden and none of us had expected it.  She has just been diagnosed with feline diabetes but we didn't know the progress was so far along.  This was extremely traumatic for me.  Making that decision is the hardest thing I have had to do.  I stayed in the room with her and she looked into my eyes the entire time.

I need to stop writing this because its making me very upset, LOL.  Anyways….she was and still is, the love of my life.  I miss her dearly and I think of her every single day.  As of now she sits up on a shelf in the living room (I had her cremated) next to a shadow box with her paw print expressions on them (the vet did that day before we had to let her go) and of course….her red bear.

As of today, her name also is tattooed onto my body forever:

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Her name in my handwriting is write below a pair of angel wings I already had on my wrist.  This helps to give me a better sense of closure and comfort.  I feel like she is with me even more everyday now.

I love her so much, and I miss her even more.

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  Stay tuned because tomorrow I have another surprise that's happening…I promise (and hope) that this one wont be as depressing, lol.

XOXO

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

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Who do you see when you look in the mirror??

What size and shape do you see when you look back at your own reflection??

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Image found here

One of my favorite WW meeting members came up to us after last Thursday’s  meeting to talk to my mother and I.  She first congratulated me for having another successful week and to thank my mother sharing her story.  She said that she related with my mother and the things she said but she was always too afraid to admit them or say them out loud herself.  I love this woman because she always seems to have a smile on her face and is so positive, even after being at Weight Watchers for over 4 years.

The one thing that she said that really stuck out to my was the story she told us about how when she tried on a pair of jeans the other day she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she couldn't believe what she saw.  She said that never in her life had she looked at herself that way.  She is a bigger woman who due to certain issues helps to get around with a cane.  The first thought that came to her mind was disbelief.  She said that if she saw a woman walking the down the street who looked the woman she just saw in the mirror she would automatically think ‘oh my, that poor woman. She doesn't love herself.’.  Then she realized, oh shit, that woman IS me!!

I think this happens to us all of us…skinny, fat, tall, short, wide, lean, you name it!  I think we have this image of ourselves in our head and as we change we often cannot change that image to reflect how we may really look.  I struggle with this lately.  Everyone keeps talking about how great or “skinny” I look.  I mean, I do think I look pretty damn good lately and on some days, I do feel skinny.  But overall, I still see the chubby girl in the mirror.  I still have a hard time picking up a size medium shirt now instead of an XL and I still see fat rolls and bulges when I smooth out my clothes.  Trying to pick out my goal weight has been difficult because of this.  I’ve been trying to put myself inside my body to try and get a better feel for how I *really* look.

I think we keep that old image of how we used to look fresh in our minds because it provides us with a sense of comfort.  If we start looking at ourselves in a different way, do we then become different people?  Do the things we love about ourselves change and go away? 

All of this really goes back to this past weeks meeting and the topic of ‘self discovery’.  Weight loss is not just about the number you see on the scale.  It’s not just about what you accomplish fitness wise.  It is not just about what new size of clothes you can fit into.  It is about becoming the *YOU* that *YOU WANT TO BE*!! 

And sometimes realizing that and figuring that part out is the scariest and hardest part of this whole journey. 

5 Mile Mania

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Today was the American Heart Associations Start! Heart Walk.  This was the first year that they offered a run and if you remember from a few blog posts back,  I had signed up to do the 5 mile run.  Thanks to everyone’s generous donations I will able to raise $231 for this great cause. 
Unfortunately due to us running late & me leaving my phone in the car, I don’t have any fancy pictures, but here is my bib #:
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Again, due to my father dying of a heart attack at the age of 34 (I was 10 years old), the cause is something that means a lot to me.
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Am I not the cutest 1 year old ever??  OF COURSE I AM!!  Sorry for the quality…that’s a picture of a picture.  But it just goes to show that my cuteness can cut through layers of films. ;-)

Well people…I'm going to "list" this recap.  A lot of things that could have went wrong did at times. So lets start:
  • I had to wake up at 6 am on a Saturday.  Um…that sucks. That’s all I have to say about that
  • The weather, which has been sunny & in the 50’s-60’s decided to be in the upper 30’s today with rain & winds blowing about 14 mph.  This race was next to a giant lake so that just made the winds worse.
  • Since parking was limited & we didn't want to travel OUT of our way to take some shuttle we had to walk about 1/2 a mile to get to the Start/Finish line. 
  • After I check to make sure I’m all registered I learned that there would be no chip timing. Why even give us Bib #’s then??  Not a huge deal since I had my iPod with my Nike+ with me…..or did I????
  • I get to the start line & realize that I do not have my iPod with me.  I felt naked.  I KNEW I brought it with me.  I’ve never ran without music, let alone a race.  I was really upset about this.  Thankfully on his way back to the car, Frankie found it lying on the side of the road.  I only had to run for about a minute or two before he was there at the side waiting to hand it to me.  I love him!!  Thank you to those who walked right by it and were not assholes enough to pick it up. 
  • My pace was good.  I was keeping a 10’30 for the first half of the race and keeping up with a lot of runners.  But in this race you had a 3 mile and 5 mile option and before I knew the majority of the crowd turned around to run the 3 mile.  This kind of bummed me out.
  • The last half of the race was AWFUL.  By far the hardest conditions I’ve ran in & the hardest fight I’ve had in a race.  The wind was *WICKED*!!  It was cold & raining and the wind was literally taking the breath from me.  I had 2 light asthma attacks, and of course did not have my inhaler.  My breathing exhausted me and between that and the wind I was up to a 11’30” pace. 
  • The last mile felt ok.  There were two hills that kind of killed me but I was just so happy to be at the end. 
  • Crossing the finish line was no big to-do.   Because of the weather most people had left, but as usual I had the best man ever waiting there for me. 
I finished it in just under 52 minutes with an average pace of 10’58” according to my Nike+.  Of course though for almost most of the first 1/4 mile though I didn’t have my iPod so obviously I wasn't about to record that.  I was only able to record 48 minutes. 

I’m tired and I’m sore.  I hate hate hate HATE hate hate running in the wind.  Especially the wind, rain and cold.  My chest hurts and I’m definitely feeling fatigued. 

But at the same time, I feel great!!  I know that I accomplished what I set out to do.  I knew what the conditions I was about to run in would be like and instead of not going, or taking the 3 mile route, I stuck to my original plan and went and did the whole 5 miles.  Not to mention, I did not stop or walk once. 

So all in all, it wasn’t a bad race.  As we were leaving a majority of the crowd was just coming in because the Start! Walk was about to being in another hour and that it was draws the biggest crowd at this event.  It was great to see how many runners there were though that are survivors of heart & stroke related conditions.  It just goes to show you what a little inner strength can do!!

Overall I’m glad I ran this race and knowing the money I raised, no matter how small it may have been compared to some, is going to a great cause really gives me a great feeling of satisfaction. 

This lady deserves a few beers tonight.  ;-)

I hope you are all having a great weekend!!  XOXO

Steak & Bananas

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Hello everybody!!  I hope everyone has had a fabulous week.  I’m happy to have the weekend coming up.  I am running a 5 mile race on Saturday for the American Heart Association so that should be fun!  So far I’ve only ran 5K’s so it will be interesting to see how I do in a longer “race”.  I raised a total of $231 so that is definitely VERY awesome.  It all goes to such a great cause!!

I was down 2.4 lbs this week at my WI.  It felt great and I really felt like I deserved it and that the weight was “for real”.  The past two WI’s have been difficult…one where I lost was based on my being so sick from a hangover and binge eating, and the last one was a gain from stepping out side my routine (the run I did earlier in the day before my WI) and then the week and 1/2 of activites prior catching up to me.  I feel like this weeks weight it a sure thing though and I feel back on track!!  I know I made lots of accomplishments this week, between running 10.32 miles to not having a beer during the week (right now doesn’t count….

100415-200508 this beer DOESNT count!  I only said from Monday up until my meeting people.  Lets not get silly now!)

So before I get into what happened at my meeting tonight let me start by saying that I picked my goal weight!!  I have chosen 165.  That means as of today I am 17.7 lbs away.  It was difficult because I can’t really remember how I felt at that weight.  When I was that weight and lower (scary lower) I wasn’t in a healthy or good place in my life.  I was thin because of depression, not because I was eating right and exercising.  My leader said that we can change it if we have to, but she agreed that it sounds like a good #.  It falls within the healthy weight guidelines that WW’s says too.  I am very excited about this.  I can’t wait to feel what 165 lbs feels like on my body.  I know that right now I look healthy and great, and I know that getting these additional 17.6 lbs off will make me feel and look even better and healthier!!  I got to start toning up people!!  I keep talking about this.  I need to start DOING something about it!!

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My wonderful leader (Hi Cathleen if you are reading this!!) took the time to pull me aside and talk with me in another room.  As some of you may already know, earlier in the week I e-mailed her explaining quickly how I felt about my mom coming to the meetings with me.  Instead of telling the whole story again, I sent her the link to my blog.  I’m happy she has to access to this.  It makes me feel like she gets to understand me a bit better.  Thankfully she doesn't think I am a horrible person after reading it (or at least she wont admit it anyways ;-).  We talked for about 15 minutes and it was really nice.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  It was funny because she picked right up on my body language and the fact that I was much quieter than normal.  I felt like she really understood what I was saying and that we shared the same hopes as to how this will all turn out.  I can’t thank her enough or express how much it meant that she took the time to talk to me about all of this.

Then the meeting started.  My mom decided to go buy some WW goodies and once she sat back she asked me what the meeting topic was about (apparently she didn't pay attention and listen while she was in line lol).  When I told her it was about the “self journey” you take on WW, she rolled her eyes.  “Oh great” is the first thought that went through my head.

Then my mom let go.  Something set her off and she spoke up and she shed tears.  She went on about why she wont let go of her “fatness” and spoke about hiding from the world.  I was in shock.  Good and bad shock.  Bad because I thought, ok, I have to hear about this here at my WW meeting now too.  But good because I was happy that she was finally telling other people than JUST me about all of this.  As she kept speaking, I kept hoping that she was starting to break that shell that she has grown on herself. 

One of the things she mentioned was that she thought that the only reason I joined WW’s was because I didn’t want to end up like her, with brain tumors and diabetes.  I will be honest in saying that this angered me on some levels.  First of all…brain tumors I cant help if I ever get or not, just like she couldn't.  This is her once again turning her life onto me.  But then it angered me because if she ever paid attention to MY life she would have realized that I joined back into WW’s months before all of health issues happened and also because again, she’s encircling my life and what I do with hers.  I felt, and still do feel, that if she ever truly paid attention, she would really know why I make the choices I make.

After our meeting and on the way to our cars I stopped her and told her that A.) she did not embarrass me.  She kept thinking that she did.  And B.) I do not now nor have I EVER done Weight Watchers for anyone but MYSELF.  I did not re-join because of her, or because of Frank, or because of Damon.  I do it for myself and only because of myself.  If I felt happy at 252 lbs, I would still be 252 lbs, but I didn’t.  So that is why I am where I am today.         

It was an odd meeting for me, with mixed emotions, but I hope that it is a good starting point for healthy and positive things to arise.  Right now I am going to try and do what I know I need to do, and just like my leader said, and remember that those meetings are me and no one else.  I have to take her out of the equation and still be the Suzi that everyone knows and loves.  I have to remember that I am there to focus on ME and no one else.  Hopefully she can learn to do the same and somehow, someway, we can make this work. 

 

One interesting tidbit I got from my meeting tonight:  There was Steak & Banana’s fad diet.  Ain’t that something!?!?  I’m going to start the Beer & Cheese diet I think.  3 parts beer, 2 parts cheese…Would you follow??   ;-)

Motivate, Dominate

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Today I ran 10.32 miles.  This is my furthest distance to date.  If you look at my Nike+ account though it will only say that I ran 10.06 and this is why…..

I started out my run feeling great.  I knew before I started that I wanted to try and break 10 miles.  But as I have talked about before, I always try to not put too much pressure on how far I want to run.  My farthest before today was 8.28. I thought I would be running outside but the weather was a touch on the cool side and it has been pretty windy here today.  Wind is one element that I DO NOT like to run in.  So needless to say, I pussed out and ran on the treadmill.

My Nike+, like mostly every Nike+ out there, seems to be messed up in counting my pace.  I’ve noticed it before and thought it might have just been a fluke or a possible interference with say my phone or something.  As I was running, about 20 minutes in I decided to pick up the pace some.  I increased the speed on my treadmill and looked down on my ipod only to notice that my pace just went from being 10’23 to 12’31….um WHAT?!?!

I decided at the 3.50 mile marker to re-calibrate it.  Here it was it was reading at that point:

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Just to note, I did not stop or pause at all to recalibrate the Nike+.  I ran through the whole thing and then set my calibration distance for .25 miles.  I ran .26 before I realized it was done.  Unfortunately, and stupidly, the Nike+ doesn’t recognize or track the workout you are doing while it is calibrating.  I think that sucks personally.  But I guess for $30, you cant expect perfection. :/

After it was done I continued to keep running.  I set up the ipod to start a new workout.  I’m not sure if I could have paused the first workout, recalibrated and then went back to the original??  I figured it was better to just end workout 1 and start workout 2 so I didn't lose any data.  

To note, I only stopped once and that was to use the bathroom quickly.  So other than that I ran the entire time straight, even while I sent 2 tweets saying how far I had gotten LOL.  I don't advise texting and running at the same time.  Its an idiotic thing to do, plus you kind of look like a douchebag.  But my treadmill is in my bedroom so nobody can see my “douche-ness”.  ;)

Here is how the rest of my run looked after the .26 mile calibration:

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My pace was once again not being properly accounted for.  Most of the time I was running around a 10:25ish pace.  So not only did I run my farthest, but I was also running my fastest.  Or at least it sure felt that way.  I had a little bit of pain in my left knee but I ran through it.  Overall I was really surprised at how awesome I felt.  I was tired by the end of it but my aches and pains were not too severe.  If I had had an energy gel I probably wouldn’t have been so whooped. 

My mind wasn’t in such a battle either which was quite a big surprise to me.  If you can recall from my other running related blog posts, I always talk about how my mind is what stops me before my body does probably 90%.  But I did a lot of day dreaming and visualizing today and my mind seemed to like the therapy session. 

At Target last night I bought this great duo-dry shirt from Champions for $12.  Before I gross it up with my sweat & what not from running, I decided to wear it today.  It says “Motivate / Dominate”.  I was looking at it a lot as I was running and the words really stuck with me. 

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I was supposed to start some strength training today and get working on doing my arm exercises, but I decided to hold off until tomorrow.  The 10.32 miles are starting to catch up to me now and I am going to be looking to ice my knees here very shortly.

Needless to say, I felt like a rockstar!!  And it just re-affirmed my thoughts that I *can* run this 1/2 marathon in September. 

Now it’s time to get back to the Yankees and my Bud Select 55.  I hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!!  XOXO

My Weight Loss= My Weather

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I woke up yesterday almost feeling defeated, but then as I said in my previous blog, I was determined to take back control and that is just what I did!!

First off let me just start by saying *thank you* to all of you for your encouragement & support.  It really helped to get me out of that door and moving again.  I ended up spending about 3 hours outside!!  I even have a lovely sun-burn to prove it. :-)

Before I share my experience of what was the most difficult run in my life to date, and what other great activities I did & pictures, I want to share my results from my Weigh-In last night.

A major *major* blessing was bestowed upon me.  I do not know how in thee HELL it happened, but I was down 2.4 lbs.  WHAT?!?!  I seriously could not believe it.  My scale at home last week said I was up almost 4!!  And don’t even ask me what I had for dinner the night before thanks to the dreaded hangover.  It really was an ENORMOUS shock.  So much so that I started bawling right there at the scale and then cried some more while my leader held me, lol.  What a big baby I am.

Well, not only did I get the joy in losing 2.4 lbs but this put me at having lost *70 LBS*!!!!!!! WHOO HOOO!!

So not only did I lose when I was sure I would gain, but I also got another achievement star and hit yet another milestone.  WOW!!  Talk about some great blessings huh??  My leader even started to ask me about my goal weight and said I need to think about that real soon because I’m probably almost there.  EEK!!

Well now that I have shared that great news, let me talk about the *awesome* workout I had before my meeting (another weird fact, I *never* work out before a meeting, but because I knew this one was going to be a bust I decided not to waste a beautiful day off…go figure):

This was by far the hardest run I have had yet.  I haven’t ran since last Sunday and it showed.  I wanted to get in at least 3 miles, since that's not too hard for me now, but no way yesterday!! 

I went to the parkway and walked/ran 4 1/2 miles, and to be honest, more of it was spent walking then running.  Now some of you who may already know, when I run, I run.  I do not walk/run.  So having to stop was really hard on me, but I was determined to make the most of it and to just get my body moving again.  Here are some shots I took along the way:

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You can’t really see it, but there is a little squirrel in this picture that was racing me part of the way:

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After my workout I just kind of stopped to hang out and chill by the water.  By water I mean Onondaga Lake Park, the most polluted lake in the United States.  It’s nice when it gets really warm out and you can smell all that yumminess…Mmmm. 

Anywho, here are some other pictures I took:

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Anyone interested in some lip-gloss or a cigarette??  Sometimes humanity disgusts me to no end!

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I wasn’t quite ready to go home yet.  I was feeling so great and at peace with myself.  I saw all these people on bikes and I thought to myself, well I could always go home and oil up the good old hot pink mountain bike!  But then I saw that the rental shack was open and that I could rent a bike!  How perfect!!  I decided to rent this cute little cruiser for an hour, only $5!!

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Me and this baby went on a 6 mile cruise up and down the parkway.  It felt great!!  What a perfect first time ride. 

All I can say is that I was never happier to be outside and I really felt like I had taken back control.  I’m about to head out for another run this morning, and I know that this one wont be easy either but I will take it slow and most importantly, I will have fun!!  Because I know that yesterday I didn't push myself as hard as I *could* have, but I pushed myself as far as I wanted to and I think that made all the difference!!  It let me enjoy myself and really be happy with what I *did* do. 

I must admit, I was a little sad to turn this bad boy in.  Who knows, maybe I’ll rent it again some other time. 

All in all I’m happy to say that I am starting to feel like myself again, and that's just *AWESOME*!!

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Sunshine Day!

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So yesterday I spent the entire day in bed…literally, ALL DAY.  That is because I was nursing the worlds worst hangover.  My boyfriends dart banquet was the night before and needless to say, I sometimes forget that being 67 lbs lighter means that I can’t really drink like I could before.  So after a lot of vomiting, I committed myself to bed for the day.  Thank sweet baby Jesus that I took the rest of the week off beforehand!

That brings us to today.  I’m feeling good again.  The sun is shining and it’s supposed to reach 70 here!!  I originally thought that my boyfriend and I were going to get outside and enjoy this nice weather together, but apparently going golfing with his brother was more important.  But that's ok….I am going to get out there and enjoy this beautiful day!!

I haven’t ran since two Sundays ago and that bothers me more than anything.  I think that is also the reason why I have been so off track.  Needless to say, running is top on my list of priorities today.  Maybe I’ll drive out a little bit and find a trail or something. 

Today is also my WW meeting.  I didn't go last week.  And I will confess right here that I have thought about not going today.  I know I am up on the scale and I’m terrified to see how much.  Also, I never work out on the day that I have to get weighed-in so I’m also worried about that.  I think either way though, I will go to my meeting.  Will I have the strength and courage to step on the scale this week????  Who knows.  What I do know though is that I am sick and tired of feeling like this.  It’s getting to the point where when I look in the mirror I get upset.  I can’t let a week and a 1/2 bump get me down this anymore.

So…I *will* get outside today and let the sunshine lift my mood.  I *will* get out there and MOVE.  I *will* be positive with myself.  I *will* remember that we all fall down, more than once, but we can ALWAYS pick ourselves right back up.  So no more tears, no more excuses.

 

Here’s a picture of me before we went out to the dart banquet….This is also going to be the picture I will submit to WW for my ‘after’ photo:

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Have a great day everybody!! 

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