Who do you see when you look in the mirror??
What size and shape do you see when you look back at your own reflection??
Image found here
One of my favorite WW meeting members came up to us after last Thursday’s meeting to talk to my mother and I. She first congratulated me for having another successful week and to thank my mother sharing her story. She said that she related with my mother and the things she said but she was always too afraid to admit them or say them out loud herself. I love this woman because she always seems to have a smile on her face and is so positive, even after being at Weight Watchers for over 4 years.
The one thing that she said that really stuck out to my was the story she told us about how when she tried on a pair of jeans the other day she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she couldn't believe what she saw. She said that never in her life had she looked at herself that way. She is a bigger woman who due to certain issues helps to get around with a cane. The first thought that came to her mind was disbelief. She said that if she saw a woman walking the down the street who looked the woman she just saw in the mirror she would automatically think ‘oh my, that poor woman. She doesn't love herself.’. Then she realized, oh shit, that woman IS me!!
I think this happens to us all of us…skinny, fat, tall, short, wide, lean, you name it! I think we have this image of ourselves in our head and as we change we often cannot change that image to reflect how we may really look. I struggle with this lately. Everyone keeps talking about how great or “skinny” I look. I mean, I do think I look pretty damn good lately and on some days, I do feel skinny. But overall, I still see the chubby girl in the mirror. I still have a hard time picking up a size medium shirt now instead of an XL and I still see fat rolls and bulges when I smooth out my clothes. Trying to pick out my goal weight has been difficult because of this. I’ve been trying to put myself inside my body to try and get a better feel for how I *really* look.
I think we keep that old image of how we used to look fresh in our minds because it provides us with a sense of comfort. If we start looking at ourselves in a different way, do we then become different people? Do the things we love about ourselves change and go away?
All of this really goes back to this past weeks meeting and the topic of ‘self discovery’. Weight loss is not just about the number you see on the scale. It’s not just about what you accomplish fitness wise. It is not just about what new size of clothes you can fit into. It is about becoming the *YOU* that *YOU WANT TO BE*!!
And sometimes realizing that and figuring that part out is the scariest and hardest part of this whole journey.